It's nearly 9:30 in the morning. I got up an hour ago and I'm still utterly exhausted. I started with my trainer this week and he has me at the gym twice a day (only until I lose the weight) because since I'm doing my web training from home, I just don't move around enough to burn a good amount of calories (besides during my workouts). The thing is that I've been virtually sitting on my ass in front of this computer for the last 6 months and going to the gym twice a day is a lot for me. Last night I think I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow and at the moment, I feel like I can sleep for another 8 hours, but I promised Wayne (and myself) that I'd actually get some work done today before I head over to the gym (I'm only going once today).
My trainer is really good. Although I'm still unsure if it's a good thing to have an attractive trainer. Maybe by next week I'll get used to it and I'll feel less self conscious. If I wasn't married, I'd have no problem with it. I'd probably flirt relentlessly and enjoy it, but because I'm married (happily), it feels wrong flirting and I find myself unsure how to behave. This is probably because it's the first time since I'm with Wayne that I'm in this sort of situation. Wayne has no problem with it at all (he doesn't have an insecure or jealous bone in his body). The other night when I was leaving for my first session with Dan (who Wayne calls Dan Dan the gorgeous man), I hugged Wayne after kissing him good-bye and he said over my shoulder, 'Now, don't forget the rules.' I asked, 'what rules?' and he replied 'No touching the penis' I laughed and said 'Thank God you told me or who knows what I would have done!' this sort of sarcastic, playful banter is a perfect example of our relationship and I have to admit that it helped a lot as I left to go meet with my ever so cute personal trainer.
I wish I could say it helped yesterday - while Dan was telling me to stand up straight, he used the British term 'Tits and Teeth' (which means - chest out and smile). When he said it, I blushed instantly like a 12 year old girl. The thing is that I don't blush easily. Hell, I hang out with Doug, who couldn't be more inappropriate - yet, at 34 years old, hearing the word 'tits' out of the mouth of my trainer makes me turn a bright shade of red! Things like this happened a few times during our session and it's just plain embarrassing. The other day, Wayne told me that I'm allowed to flirt with him if I think I can remember how. Maybe I should give it try, because blushing my way through, doesn't seem to be working.
I quit smoking when I moved to the UK, mainly because I promised my husband I would. I did it for him, but not because I wanted to. I enjoyed smoking. I missed it, but quit successfully for many years until I went through a stressful time and started again. My relapse lasted over a year. The whole time, I was ashamed of myself. I hated the smell. I hated how I felt, I hated the health risks and I hated my lack of willpower. I've known a few people who have tried e-cigarettes. I was a skeptic. I thought it was going from one habit to another. The people I knew that tried it, always had it and were constantly sucking on it. It seemed to me they were more addicted to it then they were cigarettes. I don't know any smokers that constantly had a cigarette in their hand. Then in January, I saw a piece about it on the BBC News. I watched with interest thinking they were going to say that they have found it to be harmful. What they said was quite the o
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