Pond Hopper

There's a segment on the radio station I listen to (BBC Radio One) that's called Laura's diary, where the sister of one of the girls on the show calls in and reads her diary from when she was a young girl (high school/university age). This morning's entry was really funny. It was as if someone was reading out of my diary from that time in my life - it was ever so dramatic (but at that age isn't everything?) - Ben (her first boyfriend/serious relationship) decided he wanted to go back to school as a single guy when he went off to university and she stayed with him the rest of the summer (the stupid, stupid girl)... When I was around that age, my childhood sweetheart (we'll call him Jonny

I haven

I've been in such a funk for the last few weeks and I just can't seem to pull myself out of it. I don

I've been in such a funk for the last few weeks and I just can't seem to pull myself out of it. I don

The following is an excerpt from the book I'm writing.  It's the first genuinely fictional part that I've written.  I need feedback so please feel free to comment.  Is the writing clear?  Is the scene set well, does the dialogue work?  The only background I'll give is that the characters are teenagers.  I should also say that it contains adult themes so if you are under age or offended by such things, you should stop here... After it got dark, the boys lit a fire on the beach and we sat around it.   Noelle and Scott sat close on a piece of driftwood, Tyler sat in the sand looking bored and started digging with a plastic cup. I sat on a blanket between Ashley’s legs, laying my back against his chest and my head on his shoulder.   He wrapped his arms around me and put his face close to mine.   With the fire burning and not a care in the world, I couldn’t remember feeling more at ease. Sloan walked up and the atmosphere changed.   Tyler tensed.   He stood up

The following short story is fiction, but based on actual events.  The names have been changed or omitted to protect the guilty... The air was thick with smoke. The place smelled of cigarettes, stale beer, and a hint of pot.   I wondered to myself if this was what all parties were like after high school.   The apartment was tiny and it seemed impossible to have so many people in it.   I worked my way through the crowd and started to wonder how Tyler talked me into this. What if he’s not happy to see me?   What if he’s not here?   How will I get home?   I don’t even know where I am! And then I saw him.   He was standing tucked in the corner with a pretty blond girl.   The sight of their close proximity made my heart drop.   Is this what Tyler had in mind when he dropped me off?   I wanted to step between them and state my claim, but I couldn’t move.   My feet stayed rooted to the spot and all I could do was stand there and watch.   He put his face close to hers and for an instant, I