Alfie: 1 down - 8 lives to go...

Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Alfie: 1 down - 8 lives to go...
My Alfie fell out the 2nd floor window the other day and gave me quite a scare. We were getting ready for my in-laws to arrive and Wayne opened the window to the guestroom to air it out a bit. We closed the door to the room to keep the cats out (we thought we did anyway)and continued with our preparation for his parents arrival.
I was running around like a mad woman trying to make the house perfect while Wayne took a shower. I went into the hallway for some reason and saw the guestroom door open with Alfie and Luka both on the windowsill. Alfie was exploring out the window, lost his balance and started to fall out the window. He panicked and tried to grab onto the side of the sill, but I saw his little head disappear and was sure I just witnessed his demise. At that point I lost it and I mean LOST it!
I ran to the bathroom where Wayne was showering, screaming and crying - just pointing to the guestroom window. My husband ran dripping and naked as a jaybird for the guestroom. He chased Luka from the windowsill (who had half his body out the window last I saw him), and closed the window. He came back and said Luka was fine (thinking I was so distraught because I was afraid Luka would fall - as if I'm THAT neurotic) and he hugged me to get me to calm down. I somehow got the words out that Alfie had already fallen. Wayne then yelled at me to go check if Alfie was ok while he put some cloths on. I was terrified I'd find my little Alfie dead on the pavement and couldn't move. Wayne ran to the window and yelled that Alfie was okay and to go and get him. I tore down the stairs and to the back doors and found them locked. I fumbled with the keys still sobbing, ran into the yard and found no Alfie. I screamed up to Wayne and he came down wrapped in a towel (it was really cold out too) and ran out to look for Alfie. He jumped onto both side fences looking to see if the cat jumped over and then I found him behind a plant. Alfie was terrified. I opened the door and he ran into the house looking relieved to be back inside. He was fine. Not a scratch on him.
I didn't stop crying for another 10 minutes or so. Wayne then informed me that I am useless under crisis (as if I didn't figure that out). In my defense - it was quite a drop (I attached a picture of the height he fell but he fell from, but it was in the back of the house and it was a straight drop with no roof to catch him). I did think I witnessed his death, which is a horrible moment and fell apart. I don't think I would always be completely useless under crisis- I once saved my nephew after falling into the pool at the age of 2- Cyrus said he'd never seen me move so fast, so I am capable of acting when need be...

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Sony Commercial/ the in-laws

Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Have you seen the new Sony commercial with the bouncing balls? It's a great commercial visually and the music is absolutely beautiful. I just found out that it's by Jose Gonzalez and the name of the song is Heartbeats. I downloaded it today and I LOVE it so it's my song of the day (Haven't done that in forever)! If you want to see the commercial go to - http://www.bravia-advert.com/
No time for much else - Wayne's parents are coming for a visit (Thurs - Monday OH MY!!) so I'm going to have my own little Thanksgiving. It's my first in-laws visit ever (my ex's parents never came to visit in almost 8 years that I lived with him), so I'm pretty nervous about it. I really want his Mom (mum) to like me. I'm cleaning like a mad woman and I have 1000 things to so, I have to run - Wish me luck!!

Happy Thanksgiving







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Pet-Peeves

Saturday, November 19, 2005
They call pet-peeves, pet-hates in England. I heard it for the first time the other day and thought it might be something worth wring about (my pet-peeves that is). Feel free to share yours with me...
Personality trait Pet-Peeves:
Poor eating habits and talking while eating - This makes me feel borderline violent. I actually want to smack people when they have poor eating habits (like loud chewing, licking their fingers, slapping their gums, or speaking while their mouth is full - just swallow dammit - I'll wait!!!)Just thinking about it makes me have to stop and take a breath.
Slobs and bad hygienic habits (like when people don't wash their hands after using the bathroom - I feel like scolding people when in public restrooms).
Whistling - Can't explain it - I just really hate it. Who's that happy??
Arrogance
Aloof behavior
People that talk in movie theatres during the film.
Spitting - it's fucking disgusting!
Loud gum chewing or snapping - it makes me want to stop and say - give me the gum like a teacher scolding a pupil in school.
Other pet-peeves:
Bad customer service - I've been known to walk out of places (leave behind things I really wanted) or go with another company that's prices are higher just because I won't deal with bad customer service.
Bad parenting skills - parents screaming at their kids (or worse) in public places or the opposite and spoiling them rotten and coddling too much.
Bad pet owners - people that leave their dogs in the car for longer than 10 minutes - leave it at home, you selfish bastard! Leaving it tied to a post or even worse - tying it to a tree in the yard - it's no life for a pet - they are not fixtures they are meant to be companions - if you don't have time or the room for it don't have a pet! I can go on and on about this and the parenting so I will leave it there.
Dirty bathrooms (public or private) every toilet should have a brush and every sink a soap dispenser.
I guess I have said enough. I could probably think of a lot more, but it would probably take a while. What about you? What are those things that just irritate you to no end??


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Some things about me...

Thursday, November 17, 2005
It has been suggested to me that when I don't have anything to really write about - I should just write a few things about me that might be of interest. Since this blog is about me, I guess it doesn't seem too egocentric to do so...
I'm terrified of heights - I always have been. As a child, I would be fine going up and keep up with everyone else (climbing trees and what not), but almost always, one of my friends would have to go find an adult to get me down!
The last time I went on a Ferris wheel I was a teenager and I was so scared that by the end - I had my head in my boyfriend's lap, crying like a baby (while my moronic friend next to me said things like (look how small all of the people look - they look like ants)! Even now, on some occasions will look for stairs so I don't have to get on an escalator. On my honeymoon, I went parasailing with my husband and I kid you not - I screamed bloody murder the whole time!!!
That being said, I absolutely LOVE roller-coasters! The bigger the better (Strange I know)! I was terrified of them until I was about 18. I went to Great Adventure (a theme park) with My boyfriend at the time and he coerced me onto one (yes, the same one who dumped me on a roller-coaster. I think it may have been the same day). I cursed him the whole time waiting on line, but when it was over - I loved him even more for it! I can't explain it, but even though they are usually very high up - I absolutely LOVE them!

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Bonfire Night - Part 2

Monday, November 14, 2005
I went to a Bonfire Night twice this year - One on the 5th and one over this past weekend. The first one was my very first that I have been to and it was quite an experience! The streets were filled with thousands of people on both nights (kind of scary to be in these little villages filled with so many people). There were small bonfires set throughout the town (to warm the crowds I'd say). The processionals were spectacular displays.


The streets went on and on with torches and drums playing and the costumes the first night were wonderful eerie and dark costumes which just added to the feeling of the event. The processional goes through the streets several times until it leads to the bonfire site where it is set ablaze and it's then followed by a fireworks display (all this happens while you are surrounded by 1000s of people). The fireworks and bonfire are held in large fields. I grew up on the Jersey shore and never had to view fireworks that were not set off over the water before. It was unnerving at best. The first night, we were quite close and at times were pelted by smouldering remains of the fireworks falling from the sky (really really unnerving for me).


The second night, the processional was not as good. It was more child friendly and people wore costumes of things like cowboys, Indians (I know its American - don't ask me why) knights and medieval times type characters. There were far more people at that one and if I had to guess I would have to say a good 100 thousand people were crammed into this village. After the first processional, we went to the only pub that was opened and tried to have a drink (not my idea). The line was down the street and the pub was so packed, it was one person in - one person out! I'll tell you - the British like their drink! I wasn't keen on the crowed crammed into the building so Wayne and I opted out while Dougie went on his own (he'd brave a lot to have a drink I'm sure).


After Doug found us (which was quite a feat), we followed the processional down to the bonfire. This bonfire was a ship that they built in the middle of the field. It was massive and the fire was so big, that it burned our faces when we looked in that direction (from quite a distance away). Despite the sardine like feeling standing in the field and an obnoxious, very large woman that refused to move her torch away from our faces - the fireworks ended up to be amazing (and this time we didn't get any falling on us).


Each night was followed by a visit to a pub that's too crowded and filled with drunks. I can do without that portion of the evening, but I must admit its all part of the experience - and a truly British experience it was.



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Bonfire Night - Part 2

I went to a Bonfire Night twice this year - One on the 5th and one over this past weekend. The first one was my very first that I have been to and it was quite an experience! The streets were filled with thousands of people on both nights (kind of scary to be in these little villages filled with so many people). There were small bonfires set throughout the town (to warm the crowds I'd say). The processionals were spectacular displays.


The streets went on and on with torches and drums playing and the costumes the first night were wonderful eerie and dark costumes which just added to the feeling of the event. The processional goes through the streets several times until it leads to the bonfire site where it is set ablaze and it's then followed by a fireworks display (all this happens while you are surrounded by 1000s of people). The fireworks and bonfire are held in large fields. I grew up on the Jersey shore and never had to view fireworks that were not set off over the water before. It was unnerving at best. The first night, we were quite close and at times were pelted by smouldering remains of the fireworks falling from the sky (really really unnerving for me).


The second night, the processional was not as good. It was more child friendly and people wore costumes of things like cowboys, Indians (I know its American - don't ask me why) knights and medieval times type characters. There were far more people at that one and if I had to guess I would have to say a good 100 thousand people were crammed into this village. After the first processional, we went to the only pub that was opened and tried to have a drink (not my idea). The line was down the street and the pub was so packed, it was one person in - one person out! I'll tell you - the British like their drink! I wasn't keen on the crowed crammed into the building so Wayne and I opted out while Dougie went on his own (he'd brave a lot to have a drink I'm sure).


After Doug found us (which was quite a feat), we followed the processional down to the bonfire. This bonfire was a ship that they built in the middle of the field. It was massive and the fire was so big, that it burned our faces when we looked in that direction (from quite a distance away). Despite the sardine like feeling standing in the field and an obnoxious, very large woman that refused to move her torch away from our faces - the fireworks ended up to be amazing (and this time we didn't get any falling on us).


Each night was followed by a visit to a pub that's too crowded and filled with drunks. I can do without that portion of the evening, but I must admit its all part of the experience - and a truly British experience it was.



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Bonfire Night - part 1

Last weekend was Bonfire Night (aka Guy Fawkes Night). Bonfire Night is a holiday (that's a bit sick and twisted) celebrated in England. It is a celebration of the capture of Guy Fawkes and stopping his plot (known today as the Gunpowder plot) to blow up the Houses of Parliament and kill King James I. Guy Fawkes, who was in the cellar of the parliament with the 36 barrels of gunpowder when the authorities stormed it, was caught, tortured, hung and quartered.


The tradition of Guy Fawkes-related bonfires began that very same year (400 years ago). Londoners who knew little more than that their King had been saved, lit bonfires in celebration.


As years progressed, however, the ritual became more elaborate. Soon, people began placing dummies of Guy Fawkes and sometimes those of the Pope onto bonfires, and fireworks were added to the celebrations. Still today, some communities throw dummies of both Guy Fawkes and the Pope on the bonfire (and even those of a contemporary politician or two), although they say the gesture is seen by most as a quirky tradition, rather than an expression of hostility towards the Pope.


Preparations for Bonfire Night celebrations for children include making a dummy of Guy Fawkes, which is called "the Guy". Some children even keep up an old tradition of walking in the streets, carrying "the Guy" they have just made, and beg passers-by for "a penny for the Guy." The kids use the money to buy fireworks for the evening festivities. They have competitions as well where the children compete against each other to create the best 'Guy'. The winner gets to have theirs at the top of that town's bonfire and the other children throw theirs into the blaze after it's set (this to me is twisted, and I have informed my husband that no child of mine will ever participate in such activities).


On the night itself (Nov. 5th) and for weeks following, main towns and cities have huge celebrations every year where 1000s gather. There are torch lit processionals where hundreds of people walk through the streets wearing costumes, playing drums with blackened faces. The processional leads to where the bonfire is lit. Guy is placed on top of the bonfire, which is then set alight; and fireworks displays fill the sky.





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Bonfire Night - part 1

Last weekend was Bonfire Night (aka Guy Fawkes Night). Bonfire Night is a holiday (that's a bit sick and twisted) celebrated in England. It is a celebration of the capture of Guy Fawkes and stopping his plot (known today as the Gunpowder plot) to blow up the Houses of Parliament and kill King James I. Guy Fawkes, who was in the cellar of the parliament with the 36 barrels of gunpowder when the authorities stormed it, was caught, tortured, hung and quartered.


The tradition of Guy Fawkes-related bonfires began that very same year (400 years ago). Londoners who knew little more than that their King had been saved, lit bonfires in celebration.


As years progressed, however, the ritual became more elaborate. Soon, people began placing dummies of Guy Fawkes and sometimes those of the Pope onto bonfires, and fireworks were added to the celebrations. Still today, some communities throw dummies of both Guy Fawkes and the Pope on the bonfire (and even those of a contemporary politician or two), although they say the gesture is seen by most as a quirky tradition, rather than an expression of hostility towards the Pope.


Preparations for Bonfire Night celebrations for children include making a dummy of Guy Fawkes, which is called "the Guy". Some children even keep up an old tradition of walking in the streets, carrying "the Guy" they have just made, and beg passers-by for "a penny for the Guy." The kids use the money to buy fireworks for the evening festivities. They have competitions as well where the children compete against each other to create the best 'Guy'. The winner gets to have theirs at the top of that town's bonfire and the other children throw theirs into the blaze after it's set (this to me is twisted, and I have informed my husband that no child of mine will ever participate in such activities).


On the night itself (Nov. 5th) and for weeks following, main towns and cities have huge celebrations every year where 1000s gather. There are torch lit processionals where hundreds of people walk through the streets wearing costumes, playing drums with blackened faces. The processional leads to where the bonfire is lit. Guy is placed on top of the bonfire, which is then set alight; and fireworks displays fill the sky.





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Been a while...

Thursday, November 3, 2005
I know it's been forever since I have written anything worth reading.  I am wondering as I type if there could possibly be anyone left that actually checks this site anymore.

I don't know why I haven't written.  I guess it's the start of winter.  It tends to bring me down because I feel so crappy all the time.  The last few weeks I have been just keeping to myself when Wayne's not around and when he is, I'm quite happy just being with him.

I am still working on teaching myself web development, but have not done a site yet because quite honestly, every time I set out to so a simple site (which I could easily do) - I think it's not good enough and decide to wait until I learn how to do everything I want to do.  It will be a while longer I'm sure.  I'm making good progress though, but do wish a lot of the time I had a teacher that could give guidance when need be.  Since I don't, it will just take me that much longer to get through it.  Such is life...

To those of you who still bother to check this blog - I will try to start updating daily or at the very least a few times a week. 


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My feet are freezing...

Thursday, October 20, 2005
It's cold this morning, that damp early Autumn cold that chills you to the bone.  As I type, I'm thinking I need to get some socks because my feet are freezing.  My joints hurt and my body feels broken down.  I wonder if a day will ever come that I don't wake up intensely aware of my body because of the pain.  I have been living with arthritis and symptoms that come with it for a all of my adult life and sometimes, it gets tiresome and I wish I could leave it for a while. 

Most people think it's a disease that just effects your joints, but it's so much more than that because when your joints are inflamed, so are the muscles.  The muscles effect the nerves... blah blah blah... Boring isn't it?  I hate to talk about it, but today the fatigue mixed with the pain is frustrating me.  It's hard to concentrate, so my courses are wasted on my brain that just isn't absorbing any new information.

I hate the change of season when it's from warm to cold.  It hurts like hell and doesn't really let up until Spring.  It's a long fall and winter and I'm never quite ready for it.  I really need to get some socks...

I don't like to complain or feel sorry for myself.  There are so many that live with illnesses far worse than mine.  I am lucky and am blessed to have a life that brings me such happiness and such peace.  It's surreal that I can be so fortunate.  Life thus far has not been easy, but now, at the end of each day, I can lay down in the arms of my husband and feel a the true meaning of the word felicity.  For that I am blessed so I will not complain.

I think I'll go get those socks...


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the pain is worth the reward

Monday, October 3, 2005
My favorite quote is: "I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do".  It's by favorite quote because it's how I feel life should be and how I wish I could feel about all of my regrets. 

Mistakes are made - that's the hard truth of life.  Wayne has always told me that if he could go back in time and change just one thing - he wouldn't because maybe, that change would lead him to somewhere other than to me.

I have made a lot of mistakes.  I try to learn from them.  Some lessons are more consequential than others and some, are just never learned.  Some, we try to forget and others should never be forgotten. Yesterday's blog was hard to write and even harder to read today, but I need to say this - although I wish it never happened, it's now a part of who I am.  Our experiences are what makes us who we are.  Maybe the pain is worth the reward because if it was Roger (the bad ex) that led me to Wayne, then if you asked me if I'd do it all again - I'd have to say I would because the pain is so worth the reward.


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Alfie, Luka and my sanity...

Sunday, October 2, 2005
I just cleaned out the cat pan for the 3rd time this week.  As a cat owner, this is my all time least favorite task.  I sometimes wish that I wasn't so fucken neurotic and I could let the cats outside without the fear that they will be killed or hurt in some way. But that's not who I am and I doubt I will ever be because as I sit here typing, I have the window open and I just had to call the cats into the room (once again) to make sure, they did not somehow sneak passed me and escape out the window to meet some horrible fate. Just as I finished typing the last sentence, I had to get up and close the windows because Alfie jumped up on the windowsill for the 10th time in the last half hour (and since this damned country doesnt believe in screens, I can't open a window to get some fresh air).

Right now, he is tearing up the TV guide I so carelessly left on the floor and without doubt his brother, Luka will join him within seconds because he copies everything Alfie does.

Since we returned from the states, they have become unnaturally attached to me and follow me from room to room - even if they are sound asleep when get up.  Every time I leave the room, Alfie is under my feet doing his best to trip me because he must think if I am on the floor, I will be so much more easily accessible to him (and Luka is always close behind).

When I walk up the stairs, they speed passed me and sprawl themselves on the steps above as if to block me from leaving the room.  When I step over them, they hurry under my feet to again, attempt to trip me and force me to their level.  I am only speculating, but can't think of any other reason they might do this.

They also have taken to scratching the bedroom door and crying for hours in the early morning and sometimes in the middle of the night.  I can almost swear that Alfie actually sticks his face in the crack under the door to make sure I hear him loud and clear!  I have a deal with my husband that the cats will never be permitted into the bedroom, so I am forced to put up with the late night/early morning antics and one of these days will be investing in some earplugs!

Just now, they both came tumbling down the stairs at a speed you wouldn't believe, chasing each other and are doing somersaults and back flips across the room.  It is only a matter of time before they run over me and add to the tiny scars I have all over my body since the arrival of these two bundles of joy!

To add to the level of chaos around here - my Alfie and Luka are Tonkinese (an oriental cat breed), which makes them big talkers.  Alfie, meows all day long (Luka lets Alfie do most of his talking for him and usually sits next to him as he talks as if to say- yeah, what he said).  Every time I move, Alfie seems to have something to say.  When I am cleaning or cooking, he gets especially yappy and meows constanty until I reach the brink of insanity and turn to him yelling 'WHAT??? - WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME??? he then, comes over and drags himself across my ankles (purring), and rolls onto his back to get a little belly rub. It works every time because not only do I rub his belly but I pick him up for a little cuddle and a kiss.  With that, Luka comes running and rolls around on the floor until he gets his too!

When they are not playing like mad, getting into everthing they shouldn't or tormenting me, they are laying with me.  When watching TV, reading or on the computer - I am usually covered in cats sparwled out and happlily sleeping.  As much as they drive me crazy, I love them even more.  Alfie is a little love that is more affectionate than any cat I have ever known and Luka is a shy sweet little cat that is happiest curled up with me or Wayne and they two of them purr with just one look in their dirction. At only 5 months old, they are already such a big part of my life and I can't imagine my life without them.




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Perfect Moments part 3

Saturday, October 1, 2005
Having learned through the years, and being as in love with my husband Wayne as I am, I have managed to realize and capture many perfect moments as they arise. Like the first time he told me he loved me or when I was falling asleep on one of our first nights together and he whispered to me 'I'll always look after you.'


During my first trip to London, we took an evening walk over tower bridge. We noticed there was something going on in the park below and stopped to look. It was Alicia Keys holding a concert celebrating Wimbledon. She was right below us and she began singing 'I keep on falling'. It felt surreal. I was standing in his arms on tower bridge overlooking the Thames and listening to Alicia Keys sing live. I thought to myself, it doesn't get much more perfect than this.


The last perfect moment I will share was on our wedding day. The ceremony was held on the beach in Jamaica, overlooking the water. Afterwards, we were walking to take some photos in the gardens and I had to stop when we reached the walkway because my shoes were filled with sand. Wayne asked what was wrong and I when told him, he stopped in his tracks, got down on one knee right there (all dressed in his new suit). He took my shoes off one by one, poured the sand out, and brushed the rest from my feet before placing the shoe back on. Holding my bouquet in one hand, I leaned on his shoulder with the other to keep my balance and watched him brushing the sand from my feet. I can honestly say that at moment, I realized that I had never before felt so loved.


Today's song is 'This year's love' by David Gray to listen click here http://www.davidgray.com/music.php?id=112

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Perfect Moments...

Have you ever had a perfect moment? One of those moments that makes you feel like for just that moment, the rest of the world stands still? Have you ever had a moment that is so perfect, you close your eyes and take it in so that you will always remember the details?
I don't know if people pay enough attention in life. These moments are so few, so fleeting and so far between that if you're not careful, you might just miss them.
I have had a some that I managed to realize and captured in my mind like snapshots that I can look back on from time to time and remember what they felt like.
The first one I can remember, was my seeing my very first sunset. I was around the age of 19 and in California visiting my father who lived there at the time. My boyfriend, who was in the Army & stationed in California, came to spend a weekend with me during my visit. My father's house was on a mountainside that overlooked the ocean and Catalina Island. I don't know what I was doing, but while passing by the sliding glass doors, I saw a spectacular sunset. Growing up on the east coast, I had never seen one before and my breath got caught in my throat. I ran for my camera. My boyfriend must have seem me scurry by and followed me out on to the terrace just as I was snapping a few pictures. He walked up behind me, put his arms around my waist and laid his head on my shoulder and we shared the sunset. That is when I realized for the first time that these moments happen and the world stopped just for us as I closed my eyes and took it in.

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On being 30-something...

Thursday, September 29, 2005
I started working out again this week.  Mainly, because I was so depressed about how I looked in all of the photos from my trip home (It appears some were happier with them than I was).  Most of the pictures that were half way decent, my body was blocked by someone else!  Is this my fate now that I'm thirty-something -  A never ending diet and workout regime? I don't even like to working out! How is it that something that is supposed to be so good for you can make you feel like you are going to die?

I didn't think I looked my age until recently, I saw a picture of me and Dougie's 18 year old girlfriend and for the first time, I was horrified to see that I actually look 30-something (I'll be sure not to sit next to her too often when we're out)!

You would think that this fan club silliness would have lifted my confidence in some way, but it hasn't.  Most of you that have participated haven't seen me in many years and I'm sure remember the girl I once was, not the woman I am today.

Don't get me wrong - it's lovely to be remembered in such a way, but my goal now is to no longer want to hide behind someone when there is a camera in site - but stand proud out in front.


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Googled Myself

Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Yesterday, under my technical difficulties post, someone left a comment trying to start a fan club for me here on this site.  Now, this is plain silliness and I am quite honestly, too embarrassed to be flattered about it!  I spent hours while trying to sleep last night, trying to figure out who it was that left the comment and for the life of me, I just don't know!  There was another post from someone who identified themselves as fan club member who knows me so well, that they practically were able to comment on my behalf!  I also have no idea who this could have been!

This blog has been a phenomenon for me.  I have heard from people that I haven't heard from in years that have found me by going to this site.  To name just a few, I have heard from someone from high school, a former colleague, reunited with an old & dear friend and have also heard from a past love that also visits the site from time to time (despite what light they my be depicted in when I write about my past relationships).  It's been quite extraordinary.

Yesterday's comments from people I can't imagine who they might be, made me Google myself.  I entered my first name, my maiden name, old married name, and my user name (the one I have used as long as I can remember) and it's all becoming clear.  I found not only this site, but forums I belong to, profiles from other email accounts and the most surprising was a photograph from my 10 year high school reunion I have never even seen before!!  If you have never done this using your name - give it a try.  It was very interesting experience.


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Last Night

Last night, Dougie (Wayne's Friend) came over.  He needed help with some stuff on his laptop and came over with it for me to look at. 

I should probably start by saying I know I never have anything good to say about Doug because I don't agree with his lifestyle - Womanizing very young girls (is that a contradiction of terms or what?), drunken behavior and his cheating ways when he is in a relationship that is supposed to be exclusive, But Doug isn't all bad.  He is a really good friend to Wayne and there isn't anything he wouldn't do for him (that alone scores points with me).  He picked us up from the airport at 6:30 in the morning and brought us bottled water, milk and bread just in case we didn't have any food in the house.  He also looks out for me by not letting any of his friends smoke in my presents knowing quitting has been difficult. There are a number of sweet kind-hearted things he does for us so, the thing about Dougie is I really like him, but he also infuriates me with his lifestyle.

His 18 year old girlfriend just left for college (I also disapprove very strongly with his choice to date girls who were children not so long ago).  I hated seeing how sad she was and how scared she was about leaving him.  She's such a sweet girl and she deserves so much better than what I know she'll get from him. 

I asked him last night to break up with her (knowing he has no intention of being faithful to her while she's gone and that he has no intention of making this relationship permanent) and I was pretty hard on him and I feel kind of bad about it today.

I was her age when I met the man who would be for the next 10++ years, the love of my life (before my husband of course) and I wish someone would have warned me - you'll wait for him for 2 years (after he leaves for the army) during which time he may or may not be faithful to you (I'll never really know). In the end, you'll only see him twice during that time. He will end up marrying another woman leaving you brokenhearted, and you will not get over him for another decade or so (see, not all my memories of him are full of hearts and flowers). If someone would have warned me, would I have stayed with him? - Hell, yes! I would have been with him anyway (no-one could have stopped me) trying to change our fate, but I would have at least known what I was signing up for!  That age is so important and there is so much this young girl will miss out on waiting for a man she will never have and I take it so personally.

Then their is the cheating issue Doug struggles with (he's cheated on every girlfriend he has ever had).  Trying to defend himself, he said to me, 'Even married men who love their wives and are married for years, make mistakes and cheat does that make them a bad person?' To which I responded, 'Cheating is not a mistake you make.  It's a choice.' It's not like you slip and fall - woops, oh my, look where my penis landed... Cheating is a whole chain of acts that you choose to continue with - You kiss and have the choice to stop, but don't - you touch and have the choice to stop, but don't - you undress and have the choice to stop, but don't.  All of these acts are a chain of events you choose to take when you cheat on the person you claim to love.  It is not a mistake.  A mistake is an accident like slipping and falling.  Cheating is a choice and it infuriates me to hear anyone try to excuse it! Until now, I am pretty sure no man has ever been faithful to me (I am positive all but one were not) and I take this issue also, very personally.

Wayne says I waste my breath and my time with Doug.  I should let it go and stop trying to change him.  Maybe he's right.  I guess I struggle with remaining friends with someone who's lifestyle I can't respect.  He infuriates me and yet I still like him.  It's strange - I don't know why, but I feel really bad for being so hard on him and I almost want to apologize for it.


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Asking for a ride in England

Monday, September 26, 2005
I have just been made aware of the fact that if I ask someone for a ride here in England, instead of asking for a lift, I am actually requesting sex!!  It's things like this that are so hard to get used to!  It's not like there is a handbook that comes with your visa - Although there should be!!


Some other things I have learned since arriving here...


** A fag is a cigarette, not a distasteful word for homosexual, so you can imagine my surprise when my husband asked me for the 1st time after kissing me (when I still smoked), if I was just sucking on a fag!


** A toilet is the word for restroom not just the thing you sit on (the word restroom just gets you a blank look when asking for directions to the nearest bathroom).


** Pants are actually underwear here not trousers, so while walking down the street talking to my husband saying, 'I think I'll wear my black pants tonight', gets me some pretty interesting looks from passer-byers!


** A period refers to menstruation not a punctuation mark (which is called a 'full stop') so if you make a statement saying something like: We're not doing that tonight - period (meaning end of conversation), people might look at you funny as well.


** A fanny is a word for female genitalia - not a cute word for butt (My husband still giggles like a child when he sees a fanny-mae commercial on TV in the US). So, I don't recommend saying to a child 'Did you fall on your fanny.' You might get a good talking to by a angry parent!


** You all right (said like: Y'alright)?  Is a greeting like saying 'how ya doin?'  When I first arrived I used to wonder why everyone seemed so concerned.  I thought maybe I looked sad all the time!


** An aubergine is an eggplant, a courgette is a Zucchini, a prawn in a shrimp and a biscuit is a cookie and a sweet is candy (I can go on and on)...


** If someone asks you over for tea, they are actually inviting you over for dinner so, don't eat before arriving or you'll be eating twice that day!


** Bugger is not a cute replacement word for a curse either!  It is a very dirty word to use, so I'm glad I never used it in the presents of my new in-laws!


There are a million things like this that make it a challenge to have simple conversations with people here in England if you speak American vs English and I am still learning.  I am just glad I didn't ask one of Wayne's friends for a ride before finding out it's true meaning!



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Back from the Sates

Monday, September 19, 2005
Due to the time difference, it takes forever to feel right after returning from the states.  Our flight is always a night flight so we can get an extra day with friends and family.  We suffer for it later because we don't sleep on the plane and we arrive in London in the morning.  We come home, unpack, sleep for a couple of hours and get up until the evening to try to get on England time.  In the end, we end up with only about 2 or 3 hours of sleep in a 36 hour time span. 

It fucks with your body clock and after 5 days back, we still feel like hell.  Wayne is sleeping now (It's 2pm) after being up all night and I slept until 3pm yesterday and didn't get to sleep last night until 3am.  I got up this morning at 10 so hopefully, I'm getting back on track.

The trip went well.  My visa appointment was so easy, it was ridiculous!  All that stress and preparation for 10 minutes at a window passing paperwork back and forth.  It was no more difficult than the DMV!

I envisioned our appointment to be like something out of the movies where they put you in separate rooms and grill you about each other to prove your relationship is real, asking questions about our favorite foods and brands of toothpaste.  That never happened.  It was over in 10 minutes and they said I could pick up my visa in an hour.  When I picked it up, I walked away, fell into Wayne's arms and cried from relief because it was finally over. 

The rest of our 10 days were spent driving from place to place all over NJ and NY.  We covered from Long Beach Island (Jersey Shore) to Manhattan.  We stayed at the Hyatt Regency in Princeton to be near my father and drove an hour or so to see my family near the shore, we went to Red bank to visit a friend on one day and LBI the next and up to Staten Island NY another.  It was non stop from the day we arrived to the day we left. 

All in all, it was typical - a few family issues (as always) and a lot of time spreading myself too thin and trying to please everyone else but me.  I really enjoyed my time with my friends and family (most of the time), but I'm tired and quite honestly, glad to be back.


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One week from today...

Tuesday, August 30, 2005
One week from today, we have our appointment for my visa.  I can hardly breathe I'm so nervous and today, I wish I still smoked!

I haven't been on here in so long.  I guess I haven't been in the mood to be in touch with my emotions.  I think I'm just trying to keep myself in check so I don't lose it. 

We had Wayne's sister and her family here for the weekend.  Phew, that was a lot of work!  Four adults and two children in one very small English house (with a surprising amount of bathrooms - 3 in all which was handy). It was a lot of cooking and an awful lot of dish washing too!

My new little niece is 5 next week and for some reason, she just adores me.  I spent the whole time with this beautiful little girl attached to my hip!  I got a little bit of insight on motherhood because I didn't get even a moment to myself.  I cooked - she helped (well she thought she was helping anyway), I cleaned - she helped, I sat down to breathe - she wouldn't have it!  I was forced to draw pictures for hours on end and wasn't even permitted to use the bathroom by myself (this was very unsettling for me, but I survived)! 

Everywhere we went, she had to hold MY hand and I was touched every time she came and hugged me for no reason at all telling me she loved me. I even went on the kiddie rides at the fair! And when she held both my hand and Wayne's as we walked along the sea front, I took a long hard look at how it might be if it was our child between us.  I'm thinking that motherhood can wait a bit longer because although she is just adorable and so very sweet - when she left - it was really nice to be able to relax again. 

I took some pictures of the sightseeing tour we took them on and if there's time before we leave Saturday for our trip to the States, I'll post them.  It was nice showing them around the city where we live because I sometimes forget how spectacular it really is.



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For my Firend... Today's

Wednesday, August 24, 2005


Today's song is for someone very special. Someone that was dear to me and that I lost on this day, 13 years ago. He was my best friend who I loved with all my heart. He was a friend that made me feel special - who's face lit up every time he saw me, told me he loved me every time we said good-bye and that always looked out for me. He died at the age of 24 and although he is gone, he will never be forgotten.


I chose this song because it makes me smile when I think back instead of sad. He sang it to me once...


I had just found out that my ex-boyfriend was having a baby with his new wife and was crushed over the news. We were out trying to get my mind off things at a restaurant/pub type place that had a jukebox that played quite loud. While we were sitting at the crowded bar, this song started playing and I instantly got upset and said with anger and pain, 'I hate this song, it reminds me of ... He played it last time we were together' Just then, my friend began to sing at the top of his lungs, right there in front of the whole place, telling me the song would no longer remind me of my ex, but from then on - would always remind me of him. He was right and it couldn't be more fitting. I truly believe that as he sang those words (the whole time trying desperately not to bust out in laughter), he meant every verse and on this day every year, I play this song and remember that moment.


Right here right now by Jesus Jones - This is for you Jeffery.


Flower Flower Flower  Flowers Flowers  Flowers Flowers Flowers Flowers  Flower  Flower    



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Visa Hell

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


Today, I am up to my eyeballs with paperwork and stress relating to my settlement visa application.  Everything I do makes me nervous, thinking I'm making a mistake or forgetting something and I end up looking it over 10 times as if I am obsessive compulsive or something (maybe I am! Shock 3)

When I think about it, I can't beleive this is my life and I am actually applying for a settlement visa so I can live with my British husband in England!  It's all very sureal and still so hard to wrap my head around!  ME living in another country!  I never thought I would ever visit a different country (other than some tropical island), never mind live here!  I have stamps in my passort!  Two countries thus far!  Imagine that - I'm a world traveler...


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The workmen part 2

Friday, August 19, 2005

Yesterday, I had to run some errands, and once again, I had to pass the workmen on my way to the shops on the harbor. I was in an awful, weepy- feeling sorry for myself kind of mood because I had just gotten news that one of my best friends will be out of town during my trip back to the states. As I got closer to the worksite, I could feel myself getting more and more self-conscious and uncomfortable and when I approached it, I told myself - 'it's no big deal, just look straight ahead keep up the pace'. While I was walking past them (with my MP3 player blaring to appear in my own world), I looked and saw that they all just stopped what they were doing and starred (all 15 or so of them), as if they had just been rescued from a deserted island and hadn't seen a woman for years.  Heart Eyes They just stood there in their hardhats and neon yellow work vests and stared as I walked by. I instantly felt hot under the collar and embarrassed by such attention and it almost made me stop in my tracks and turn back. Then, suddenly, I thought 'this has to stop!' so, with a 'if you can't beat 'em' type join them' type attitude, I just stopped, smiled and waved at them. With that, they all at once, smiled back and waved enthusiastically as I started on my way again. I laughed to myself and suddenly felt better and I have to say - that those guys made my day. Being a stranger in a strange place, sometimes makes me feel invisible, like I could scream and jump up and down and no-one would see me - but at least I know that if I want to be seen - I can just take a walk passed the construction site and I'll be sure to get at the very least a 'ello Love' from one of the guys!


  Smile



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Only Me!!

Thursday, August 18, 2005









Because I haven't been able to work while living here thus far (I don't have a work visa), I think I may be losing brain cells from lack of use because sometimes I thing I'm becoming just plain stupid and I've become horribly ditsy! To anyone who knows me - I wasn't ditsy before was I?


 Thinking 


For instance - this morning while taking a shower, I had a bit of a mishap - We have a shower massager - the type that has the coiled hose so you can take it down and use the massager function. The shower enclosure it's self is quite small (it would never fit both Wayne and I) so there's not much room to move around. The shower head is also on a slider attachment so that it can be adjusted to different heights and then the top piece swivels to add even more height adjustment. Wayne and I are constantly changing the height back and forth to suit our own needs.


This morning, I was quite groggy when I took my shower (from both the lack of sleep this week as well as the sleeping medication I took last night to ensure at least eight hours...). I adjusted the shower head a bit too much and while I was rinsing the shampoo from my hair, I hit it with my hand and knocked it right out of it's holder! I shuffled to catch it (so it didn't knock me on the my head or face as it came back down) and I was quick enough to catch it, but unfortunately for me, I caught it with the water facing not only up, but out as well! I shot water all over the bathroom and bathroom ceiling (and I actually said out loud - 'oh no' in a Homer Simpson type of way)! The strange part is - I now can only enter the bathroom armed with an umbrella because the water has stayed on the ceiling in theses large droplets. They don't fall all at once like you'd expect them to, they just stick there, mocking me by releasing a tiny drop every few seconds, so when you walk into the bathroom it seems to be raining in there! 


 Wet Umbrella 


This would be a good time to buy a mop (instead of washing the floors by hand) so that I can clean the water off of the ceiling without climbing onto something I will almost surely fall off of and kill myself - death my stupidity!


This is almost as ditsy as when I flooded the bathroom and the house on Wayne's birthday! Who does such things??


 Meathead 





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New Greenday Video

Tuesday, August 16, 2005
I just saw the new Greenday video for the second time and for the second time I was struck by how much it made me feel. It made me remember what it's like to be young and make promises you can't possibly keep, how it felt to have someone you love leave you behind and how it terrifying it was when a war broke out when that person was in the military. It also made my heart break for the boys fighting and dying at war right now. I don't think that young people will fully understand that the video is depicting what happens everyday. It may not always be a girlfriend or boyfriend waiting in desperation, but a parent or sibling, husband or wife, son or daughter or any other loved one. My heart goes out to anyone living through it. I was lucky I didn't have to actually live it, but I know there are so many waiting in despair for their loved one to come home safe. I can only hope, beyond hope that this war will soon end and those fighting can finally return safe to the people who love them.

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Today's song of the

Monday, August 15, 2005

Today's song of the day is 'One Thing' by Finger Eleven Click the link below to see the video...


http://www.fingereleven.com/video/oneThingWin.html


It was popular in the states just before I left to move here. I don't know what the song is really about, but to me, it's about all that I had to give up to move here to be with Wayne.


I remember every time I'd hear it, I'd turn it all the way up and instantly tear up overwhelmed with emotion - feeling scared, excited, happy and sad all at once. When I hear it now, I'm taken right back to how it felt to give up my precious pets, leave my home, my country, my family and my friends - all for one thing.


You never know where life will take you - sometimes, it's just a leap of faith.



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4AM

I can't sleep.  It's almost 4 in the morning and I laid in bed for over 4 hours, staring at the ceiling and listening to Wayne breath before I decided to get up and see if anyone is online - nobody is.   
I don't know why I can't sleep lately.  Maybe it's because I'm going home soon and it's wearing on me.  I don't know what kind of family problems will arise this time and now, since recent events have unfolded, I'm not sure which of my friends have disappointed me and I feel like there's not much left to go home to. I miss America more than I could say and I wish I could be happy about going back (I think tomorrow, I will start a list of what I miss most).  It's sad that I can't just let things roll off my back instead of weighing on my shoulders.  I wish I didn't always care so damned much.  I wish I was less sensitive.  I wish I was different. 
I also have to go for my appointment to apply for my marriage visa when I get back.  If approved, I will have the right to live and work in the UK and finally have the life of a normal resident of this country.  I'm terrified.  I'm terrified of not being approved (With the exchange rate, I'm down to less than 8K in savings and what if the British government doesn't think that's sufficient to support myself until I'm working??) and if I am approved, I'm terrified at the concept of trying to live normally here doing things like working - what will I be when I grow up?  And I'll have to learn to drive here too - not only the roads (wrong side of the car - wrong side of the road. tiny car, tiny roads! Roundabouts -AHHH), but a manual transmutation as well!  All without Wayne and I killing each other when he tries to teach me!
   
Everything is so uncertain and living in a strange place where the people have been less than welcoming and going so long without working, has reeked havoc on my confidence and I'm suddenly afraid of things that didn't faze me before.  I'm now very unsure of myself and so afraid of letting Wayne down.  Maybe once this trip is over and I have my visa (fingers crossed), I'll feel different.  Maybe right now it's just the fear of the unknown.
It's 4:20, I guess I should go back to bed.



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Sunbathing and the workmen

Thursday, August 11, 2005


Today, I went to get my nails done. I do this every couple of weeks when I feel the need to prove I'm not invisible to everyone other than my husband. It feels that way sometimes living here, but that's another entry

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Still smoke free??

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

I've been asked by a few people lately if I am still smoke free.  The answer is YES!!  Woo-hoo!   


No Smoking
It's been a struggle - especially when Wayne and I have a good fight - I just want to go out and smoke a whole pack just to spite him!  I even made it to the store once but thankfully, after walking quite a ways, the store was closed!  That was the one and only day I was grateful that I can't drive here because after the walk, I didn't want one anymore.  I could have easily gone to the nearest pub to buy a pack there, but by then, it was pointless (Wayne later told me that he would have made me eat the ones I didn't smoke if I had bought a pack!)

I only wish I had quit long before this move, because here in the UK, there are a lot more smokers and I smell it everywhere I go.  I wish I could say it turned my stomach , but for the most part, it just makes me want a cigarette!  After 7 months of not smoking - it's just a choice and I've chosen not to. 

I'm So ProudVictory dance --> Wakka Wakka


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Footprints on our hearts

Monday, August 8, 2005
A comment that was left for me as well as an email I received recently have inspired these thoughts…

I used to have a bookmark that I kept for years. On it read these words: ‘Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same.’

Why is it that some people leave footprints and others don’t make even a dent? Why is it that some people can make such an impact that, years after, just the sound of their name can make your breath get caught in your throat and your heart skip a beat?

Love is a strange thing. It can be just as wonderful as it can be painful, but one thing remains the same – it changes us. For good or bad - it changes us. I may love my husband with all of my heart, but I don’t want to ever forget or regret the other loves I’ve had in my life. I want to always remember the lessons I learned from them. I want to someday when my child has their heart broken for the first time, to take out pictures and letters from my past and show them that it’s okay – the pain will one day fade. And if they’re lucky, one day the pain will become cherished memories - keepsakes in our hearts and let them know that it’s possible to have more than one great love in life. We should welcome the footprints that are left on our hearts and cherish them. It is part of what makes life beautiful and in my mind, it’s what life is really about.


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Frustration!!

Monday, July 25, 2005


I had planned my next blog to be about our trip last week, but yesterday while uploading the photos, I received a few comments on my last blog that were not exactly positive. Out of frustration, I deleted them. Last night I vented to my husband that there were more anti-American type comments on my blog from people on this side of the world. He told me I shouldn't have deleted them and left it for other people to comment on (or at least leave them long enough for him to comment on).


Here's the thing - as an American living abroad, I am quite sensitive because I was not only ignorant to what countries made up the United Kingdom and Great Britain, but I was also ignorant to the fact that in other countries around the world, America is not well liked. Because I'm the type of person that doesn’t think negatively about other people until given a reason (the elevator doesn't count - celebrities put themselves out there for ridicule or praise), I didn't think that people would treat me different because I am American. This was quite naive of me. I have had people start-up conversations with me in clubs or pubs (loud types of places) that when they realized I was American, just walked away. I've had to endure rude comments & criticism and I hear anti-American propaganda on TV, the radio and in the media all of the time. Just the other day while online (queued) for an attraction at the safari park, a child behind me used an American expression they heard on television and her mother quickly corrected her by saying 'You watch too many American programs! That's rubbish - you're NOT American you're English!' All I could do was laugh because what I really wanted to do was turn to her and inform her that there was an American right next to her and she should be aware of her surroundings before she spoke such rubbish!


 Soapbox  If there was a black person standing next to me and I said to someone 'That's crap, you're not black, you're white' in the same tone she used, would it be acceptable? It's still a form of racism and what kind of message is she sending her child?? I do have to mention that her daughter did respond well by saying 'but I am American in her best Texas accent which was absolutely hysterical!

My husband thinks I am oversensitive about this issue. But when I see a documentary on television entitled 'Why Americans love their guns' that made it look like everyone in America owns a gun and is proud of it - I get pretty riled up because I can say with all honestly, that I have never known anyone who has ever owned a gun in America that wasn't a police officer or in the military and we do not all own a gun! There seems to be a popular belief that all Americans are fat, lazy, gun in one hand - bible in the other, obnoxious bigmouths! I'd love to debate this issue, but it would be futile.


The bottom line is - this blog was created to keep in touch with friends and family because with such a vast time difference, it's not always easy to call each other. It was not created so that people can leave me negative comments about being American or un-American for leaving the country (for you moronic Americans that have that mindset)!


I moved here not because I woke up one day and thought it would be cool to drive on the other side of the road or learn to speak English instead of American (two very different languages) - I moved here because I had the dumb luck of falling in love with an English man and living here is the best thing for our future together. I'd like it if people could try considering that living in a foreign country is not an easy venture and it's been quite a vexatious adjustment that after almost a year, I am still struggling with. I still don't have any friends and spend a great deal of time just trying not to feel out of place. This is my blog - my space and I don't want it to be a public forum for political debates or just plain negativity! I can handle playful banter, but lets play nice!


 


 Flag 2     Big Ben

 


PS - if you'd like to see the photos of the trip we took last week the albums are titled Lulworth Cove, Stonehenge, Monkey World and Longleat will be added sometime today.



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Dublin Trip Cancelled

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

For Wayne's Birthday on Friday, I bought him a surprise 5-day trip to Dublin. It's his 30th birthday so I wanted it to be special and he's always wanted to go to Ireland. I booked one of the best hotels in Dublin and have been doing research for weeks on what to do while we were there.
About a week ago, someone suggested that I look into whether I have the right visa to come & go in and out of the UK. To which I replied, "I thought Ireland was in the UK" - well, it's not. Northern Ireland is a part of the UK not Ireland as a whole and as it turns out, I can't go in and out of the UK as I please (well technically I can but last time I did, they threatened to send me back until I got a settlement visa). So, I had to cancel the trip for now. In September, we're going back to America to apply for my visa and until it's sorted out - No Dublin for me!
I'm embarrassed by my ignorance, but it's not like I was a big world traveller before Wayne came into my life and I guess I didn't pay attention in school the day they covered the UK and Great Britain.
I've been told by a few British people that they think the reason I didn't know that Ireland is not a part of the UK is because as Americans, we don't
pay attention to the rest of the world. Is this true?? Are we really that self-absorbed? Or is it that I really was more interested in the love affair
with my first love while in high school than I was Geography?

Anyway, instead of Ireland, we're going to explore more of England for a few days and making a long weekend of it. I'm looking forward to it - we always
have such a good time together.



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A 2 minute standstill around the world...

Friday, July 15, 2005
Yesterday, millions of people around the world joined in a two minute silence to pay tribute to the victims of the London bombings one week earlier.  All around the UK workers left their offices to stand in the street, taxis and buses pulled over and financial markets paused, trains stopped and planes stayed on the runway at Gatwick Airport in London.  All over great Britain traffic just stopped, people came to a halt and thousands stood in the streets side by side.  At the strike of 12:00 there was a hush and there was silence for 2 minutes.  The Queen joined, Tony Blair joined, schoolchildren, office workers, shopkeepers and construction workers alike - all were silent and still in memory of the victims of the attacks seven days before.

Around the world, countries joined in too - Spain, Italy, France, Brazil and in In Berlin, subway trains, trams and buses stopped for two minutes.   In Turkey, Indonesia, and Ireland (as well as others) people also fell silent and in America, the three locations struck on September 11, 2001 -- New York, Washington, D.C. and Pennsylvania -- also joined together to observe the silence.


I watched the footage later in the day and it was amazing to see.  It was touching and beautiful to see that the world is capable of joining together in peace.  It is something that I don't believe I will ever forget.







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Top 20 Lists

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Recently, a magazine here in the UK issued their list of their Top 100 women in show business. This sparked conversation between Wayne and I and one rainy weekend when we had nothing to do, we compiled our own Top 20 lists. The rules were we had to judge on looks alone (not their physique) and only one token model was allowed.


For fun, I thought I'd add our lists here for you to view and enjoy. Maybe it will even spark conversation between you and a friend or loved one.


Wayne and I actually had a really good time creating our lists together - judging each other's taste in the opposite sex and laughing over how long it took for us to prioritize our selections. We still change the order every time we look at it! (although our top five have remained the same)


Enjoy and feel free to comment!





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Another heat wave

Monday, July 11, 2005

Another heat wave has started. The last two weeks have been cool (60-70 tops), but today was 80+ and it should stay that way until at least Friday (I don't have an extended forecast). We're going to buy some fans tonight because it was brutal during the last heat wave trying to sleep with no air conditioning (silly country with no air conditioners or screens on their windows!)Hopefully the fans will be sufficient.


Wayne originally said we only get two or three weeks of hot weather all summer (Unlike back home in NJ where we'd have 3-4 good months!) I was starting to think I would not be able to use any of my summer cloths I bought during the last heat wave and that summer would not return!


Wayne now says that summer has officially started and to be completely honest - I'm just confused on what summers are like in England. Last year around this time, I was here for 2 weeks and it was 60 - 65 for the entire trip and I was wearing a jacket the whole time. This year it's either hot or cool- no in between!


English weather is very strange and will take some getting used to!




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Can't Sleep

Saturday, July 9, 2005

It

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Thank you!

Friday, July 8, 2005

I just want to say thank you to everyone that touched base when they heard of the attacks in London. It was heart warming to see that so many of you were so concerned for the safety and wellbeing of both Wayne and I. Although we are shocked and horrified by yesterdays events we are both fine and none of Wayne

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Congratulations Anne & Michael

I just want to say congratulations to Anne & Michael on the birth of their baby boy, Sean Michael.  He was born at 12 midnight on 7/6/05 weighing 8lbs 7oz.


I love you Anne!


Congratulations!



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Kittens Update

Wednesday, July 6, 2005

I have spent most of my time since Sunday with my new kttens trying to help them adjust to their new home.


They have been really quite scared. One of them (Luca

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Kittens

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Yesterday, Wayne & I went to a breeder of a type of cat called Tonkinese. They are beautiful cats that have dog-like personalities and they're also known to be easy on people who tend to be allergic to cats (for those who visit that are sensitive to them).


The loss of Milo has been difficult for me and although I would love to have another, I know in my heart that a dog just wouldn't be practical for us at this stage of our life. So, Wayne suggested we get a pair of sibling kittens (so that when we are away they can keep each other company whether it be home alone or in a cattery during long trips). We researched dozens of breeds and this breed is exactly what we were looking for.


The breeder had two boys available and although they are not the colors we initially wanted, we fell in love with them anyway (it's hard not to love those little faces). We will be picking them up on Sunday afternoon and I am just thrilled at the thought of having them. It's been a great void for me here without the pitter-patter of little feet (on four legs) and I am looking forward to them adding to our lives here in England and them helping with making it feel a bit more like home. I have attached a picture of them along with their sisters. They are the very fist to the left and the last on the right (in the tunnel). I will add pictures when we have them home.





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London & Val

Monday, June 27, 2005

Saturday, was our trip to London to see Val Kilmer in The Postman Always Rings Twice. We had a wonderful time in London (with only one exception).
I have to admit that I was a bit more star-struck than I thought I would be. Either that or it was just the fact that it was Val I was going to see & maybe my affection for him has not faded as much as I thought!
Wayne suggested we find out if we can wait around after the show to get Val's Autograph & just the thought of it made me nervous & enthusiastic! I had trouble sleeping the night before - like a little kid at Christmas & woke Wayne up bright & early to get the day going as soon as possible!
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Upon arriving in London, we went straight to the theatre to pick up the tickets. I surprised even myself as we walked up & I clapped jumping up & down when I saw his picture displayed outside the theatre and his name up in lights! It was like I was 13 again with my huge crush on the man believing I was his biggest fan! Wayne enjoyed my display of enthusiasm & even took pictures of me next to the photos outside the theatre. We picked up the tickets & confirmed we could wait to get his autograph after the show & I instantly had stars in my eyes!
With a couple of hours to kill before our dinner reservations, we decided to take in the sites of London. We walked from the west side to the east over a bridge. I had no idea where we were headed & again, gasped with childlike excitement when I saw the London Eye over the bridge & Big Ben just down the street! I took countless photographs of both sites (as I

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Heatwave and the beach

Monday, June 20, 2005



There is a heat wave here in England. It

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Dial-up!

Saturday, June 18, 2005

We're all moved in. It went ok, but with a few hitches. I'm sure with a little time and touches of our own it will start to feel more like our home.


We forgot to call the phone company to let them know we need the line to be DSL ready so now we have to wait 5 days for a high speed connection. I only have dial-up right now and I'm already wanting to throw the damn computer out the window! As you can imagine, I won't be online too often until I have a faster connection!



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My Milo

Milo1 I have made the heart wrenching decision to give my Milo to my friend Kenny who has been taking care of him in Memphis through the quarantine process to get him into the UK (it

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Beautiful fields!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Here in the UK, they have what they call ‘Bank Holiday Mondays’ which are long holiday weekends that were once to celebrate a holiday, but most people don’t even know what the holiday is they’re celebrating during their long weekends.
The weather has been pretty sunny (and even warm on some days) so the last couple of long weekends Wayne and I have been taking some day trips to different places like the wildlife parks we’ve been to as well as Windsor Castle.
The roads that lead to the major motorways are long and windey and there’s not much on these roads but farmland. On each side of these roads there are miles and miles of rolling fields, mountainous hills and various types of farm animals.
During the spring and summer, many of these fields are covered with flowers that are just beautiful. There is one flower that they grow for canola oil and there are countless fields of these flowers. When driving toward the fields the air fills with this floral fragrance that is unfamiliar to me, but from now on will always remind me of my first spring here in England. Although the scent is unfamiliar, it is distinctive and beautiful from a distance. On a very warm day, there is an odd scent in the air of these fragrant flowers combined with the dull scent of manure from the animals.
Driving closer into these fields, you can’t help but be struck by the both the beauty of these endless fields of vibrant yellow and the overwhelming floral sent that you can almost choke on if you have your windows open.
There are more than just these bright yellow fields of flowers. There are entire fields of bright red poppies, and little blue flowers called blue bells as well as deep green fields. Driving through these fields make the landscape appear to be patch-worked with vibrant yellow, bold greens and blues and some speckled with fluffy white sheep followed by others that have the black and white spots of cows grazing near by. The backdrops of these fields are the mountainous green and golden brown hills that are topped with the blue of the sky. These views make long drives something to look forward to because I never know what I might see!

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Val!

Monday, June 13, 2005
Later this month, I will be going to see VAL KILMER in his London West End debut of The Postman Always Rings Twice. Our seats will be 6st row center! Anyone that has known me for an extended amount of time knows that this is a thrill for me. Val is the only Hollywood actor I have ever been a real fan of and although my affection for him has faded, I cannot discount the 15+ years I was a true and loyal fan. Albeit about 5 years too late it still has to be done and I am really very excited!

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Wayne's Mum

Over the weekend, we went to see Wayne's Mum (she had an operation last week to see if her cancer has spread into the muscle) and she's doing quite well. She's moving kind of slow, but is in good spirits and seemed to really enjoy spending time with her son.

Her biopsy results came back from the operation and came back negative so the cancer did not spread into the muscle! She has to go in to have her body scan this week and we'll know more soon. I'll keep you posted!

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*Men!!!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

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I just heard from an old friend via instant messenger. We worked together for 5 years. Today, he confessed his undying love for me! What the fuck is it about men? Why can't I have just one male friend that doesn't hit me with 'I'm in love with you' at some point in our relationship?? I'm so aggravated!! I'm also in shock! How can I be so blind? He's the second one from that office that has hit me with such a shock (and I was very close with both of them)!! You work side by side with someone for years and think that they are a real friend and then - guess what? I was never your friend...
This means that there are only 3 close male friends that I have had that haven't confessed such a thing. One of them has passed away, so it's unlikely he'll ever hit me with it (oh God, would I have been crushed!). That doesn't include Dougie, who is Wayne's best friend (not that there haven't been any supposed best friends of boyfriends that haven't behaved badly. I've always kept those a secret though because it's not fatal and friendships should never end over a woman).
One of the others, I was really close friends with in high school. We got drunk and kissed one night just to see if there was anything to the years of rumors about us. After the kiss, we looked at each other and at the same time said, 'nah' and that was that. We were really just friends, although it didn't stop his girlfriend (whom he later married) from putting an end to our friendship because she just couldn't believe there was nothing between us.
I feel like calling the one remaining friend and asking him if this is the truth behind our friendship too, but I don't have the heart. We've been friends for far too long. I have to admit though, that I'm always going to wonder about it now. I'm really bothered by this trend. It makes me feel foolish and blind.



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