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Showing posts from August, 2006

What do I miss most?

Since moving here, the one question I get asked really often is 'What do you miss most?' I think a lot of people think this is a fun and safe question and they are probably hoping to hear something about what it's like to live in America. With this in mind, I usually give them an answer about missing my favorite foods and tell stories about my fist visits to the Supermarkets in England and how strange it was to recognize almost nothing on the shelves..
Although I do miss my favorite foods and would love to get a care package filled with all the goodies I can't get here (it's such a shame the shipping costs so damned much), it's not at all the honest answer.
What do I miss most? That's a really hard question to answer...
I miss my dog. I still find it hard to hold back the tears when ever I see a Jack Russell Terrier and it's just my luck that I moved to the country that the little dogs come from! He's a special little dog and even though I know h…

A blast from the past...

I got the most bazaar email today from my ex-husband confessing his undying love for me. We had a strange relationship. We were together for nearly 10 years. When we met, I was in love with someone else (someone who was no longer an active participant in my life, but I still loved all the same) and was very honest about that fact. When we moved in together that fact still hadn't changed and when we married years later, I was still in love with someone else. He knew it, I knew it and yet we got married anyway. I think we both thought it was just a part of who I was. It was just one of those things - my favorite color was purple, I loved photography, was a really good cook and I just happened to be in love with someone else.
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I didn't love my ex-husband. I did, but we were really more like great friends than anything else, so I forgave him when he cheated and he forgave me for loving someone else for as long as we were together. W…

Bank Holiday Weekend

This weekend is a long holiday weekend here in the UK. Don't ask me what the holiday is because nobody seems to ever know what holiday their celebrating. They just refer to it as 'Bank Holiday Monday'. Wayne's sister and family will be coming for the weekend. I'm honestly not looking to forward to it. It's not like I don't like them, but this house is way too small for six people and two cats. Last time they came, it took me days to recover! Nancy, Wayne's niece (and I guess mine too) who's turning 6 next month, LOVES me. When ever she's around she doesn't leave my side for even a second. The child even follows me to the bathroom. Not a mother myself, using the bathroom in front of a small child is a bit unnerving for me, so I've had to find creative ways to distract her so I can sneak away for a bit of privacy. I've bought some arts and crafts projects for us to do together so I don't spend the entire time drawing pic…

His old T-shirt

This morning when my husband woke me up to kiss me good-bye, he was wearing a T-shirt that he used to wear when we first got together - a shirt that I ended up wearing a lot too. Every time I see it, it reminds me of when we first got together and those first weeks when we fell in love. I told him, you can

Bring it...

While on the treadmill today, there she was again walking toward me - Ms Perfect - The blond with the flowing hair and full face of make-up. She got on the treadmill next to me (as she often does) and I thought 'Damn you, go away' I had already done my weight training for over an hour and had been doing cardio for about 15 minutes when she walked up in her bright pink fitness outfit that just screamed - look at me. As she started walking, I raised the level on my treadmill so not to be out done. She looked at me and raised hers and she started jogging slowly. I thought, ok- 'bring it' and I too started jogging. Every few minutes, she'd raise her speed and I'd raise mine and within 10 minutes I was sorry I ever started it. The difference between me and her is (besides her rock hard abs, long legs and tiny hips) is that she's about 20 years old and in perfect condition and I'm thirty-something, just started my fitness program in April and although…

My big night out

It's 8:30 in the morning, I think I'm still partially drunk from last night and couldn't sleep. It was my big night out last night. My first night since moving to this country that I was invited out by people I met on my own and didn't know my husband.
Getting ready, I was really nervous. When I get nervous, my body temperature must rise at a dramatic rate, because I perspire and then become agitated (which just makes my nerves worse). Sorting through my cloths, I picked just the right outfit - Sexy, but not over the top (I'm usually an understated kind of girl) and began sorting through all of my shoes and thinking they were all horrible. I consulted Wayne and even he asked, 'don't you have any others?' Panicked, I went to the closet and pulled out my 4 inch stilettos that had been retired to the land of 'I'm to old for this shit' and put them on to see if I could still walk in them. I went to the mirror, saw they looked good with my j…

Photos for the non-flash users

My photo albums on this site are all flash albums. At the request of my friends that can't download the flash application at work and don't have PCs at home, I am adding a few recent pics. Sorry guys, I shouldn't assume everyone has access to the latest technology (it's a good lesson so thanks for letting me know)...

The photos I'm wearing red, were taken on July 12th & the one of Wayne & I was taken in Ireland. - Sorry Wayne has requested I take the one of him off :-(

Summertime

Summertime is a strange and nostalgic time for me. Important things happened to me in the summertime. I met two very significant people on the very same summer day a really long time ago. One of them was my very first love and the other became one of the very best friends I have ever had. Three years later (also in the summertime), it was over between my love and I (the relationship anyway) and we were burying our friend. Every year since, when the anniversary of his death comes nearer, I am sucked back to those years when we were all together and then reminded of having to say good-bye.
Just last night, I sat up with my husband talking about it all. I laughed & cried and told my stories (probably the same stories I tell every summer). Each year, he always listens patiently as I try to make sense of it. Each year, I remember less of my dear friend's face and voice and I struggle with the guilt of it; and then there are the years & years of my old love and I and w…

Change is good(?)

Yesterday's entry made me realize how much I've changed in the last few years. Some years back, I was going through self analyzation faze. I wanted to figure out what it was about me that I might need to change in order to be a better person and to have a happier life. I knew I need to consult someone who really knew me, but wouldn't be afraid to be honest with me. I decided to consult the one person that has not only seem me at my very best, but at my very worst and somehow, always loved me anyway. So, I went to my PC and sent him an instant message asking if he'd be willing to talk for a minute. He agreed, and I got straight to the point and asked him what my biggest flaw was. He didn't have to think about it. I saw on the bottom of the screen that he was typing a message and I tried to prepare myself for his answer. A million things went through my head - you're too sensitive, you're too sarcastic, you're too quick tempered, you're a dra…

The cynic I've become...

A couple of weeks ago, I went to a girl's house I know from the gym to do a cosmetics party (I have a small side business where I do wedding make-up and sell cosmetics). The next day, I realized my daily planner was missing. The planner was a gift my husband bought me for starting my business. I always wanted a really good one. It's a pink, designer make, high quality leather with all the organizer bits you can need. I loved it and even have a special pen for it that has rhinestones down the clip. When I realized it was missing, I was just heartbroken. I called the girl and asked her to look for it. She did, but to no avail - it was gone and considering it's an expensive planner, I was sure it was stolen.
Every time I went to the gym and saw any of the girls that were there that night - I sized them up wondering if it was them who stole it. It really bothered me and I'm not really sure why because Wayne promised if it didn't show up, he'd buy me a new…

Chasing Cars

While in Ireland, my husband and I were relaxing in our room listening to the new Snow Patrol CD when the song 'Chasing Cars' came on. He told me that a friend said it was the best song ever written. I thought, that's quite a statement - 'The best song ever written'. There are a lot of great songs. I don't think I could ever pick just one, so it made me want to listen to the song more closely. I listened to it and it's an absolutely beautiful song and I can find parts of it that I can relate to on so many levels not only now with my husband, but with other times of my life as well. It's a touching powerful song about being in love, but the person who said it was the best song ever written, to my knowledge, has never been really been in love or in any meaningful relationship. When I listen to this song, I can't help to wonder what it makes him think of to warrant being the best song ever written. I wonder if there is a part of him that we do…

The state of the world

When I heard about what happened yesterday with the terrorists being caught, I have to admit I avoided watching the news until this morning when I watched NBC Nightly News (I record it every night and watch it in the morning with my breakfast) and although, I had already heard most of the details, I have to admit that I was shaken by what I heard. The flights they planned to target were all flights to the US from here. It doesnt exactly give me a feeling a well being for my next flight home (albeit they caught them before they could carry out their plans).
I'm saddened by the state of the world. I'm saddened by the war, the hatred and the suffering. I'm convinced that is there is a God, the world is going to hell in a hand basket. I liked it so much better when I knew little about what goes on in this world. My little bubble was safe and as ignorant as it was - it was comfortable. Now that I see what goes on, I almost wish I could go back to my ignorant little bubb…

Ireland - Day 3 - Dingle Peninsula

On our third day in Ireland we went on a scenic drive of the Dingle Peninsula which takes at least a half day to drive and took us even longer because we stopped at so many places. Dingle was by far my favorite place in Ireland. It was the most beautiful place I've ever been to. There were many stops along the way to stop and take photographs. To the north is the towering Brandon Mountain, while the west cost has spectacular seascapes. The drive also had many historical sites like huts, cemeteries and a church that dates back to the 6th century.
We stopped at every site the guide pointed to as areas of interest. We stopped at one of the cliff heads for about 3 hours where we had a picnic (from a picnic basket the hotel packed for us) and after, we hiked and climbed to the top. As tiring as it was - it was by far the best views we had all day and well worth it.
On the way back, we saw in the distance what looked like a ruin of a castle or a watch tower. It was in the middl…

An American Style Fridge

Over the weekend we got a new refrigerator. We got an 'American Style' fridge it's a whirlpool side by side fridge freezer with water and ice maker and it's lovely! Americans might wonder why this is such exciting news for me. It's because here in the UK everything is small and the fridge we've been living with was the size that belonged in an American dorm room not a house with two adults living in it! It wasn't even frost free so if you put anything too close to the back of it they would freeze and the stuff on the door never got cold enough. Being a person who cooks meals from scratch with all fresh ingredients, we never had enough space in the fridge for all the food after shopping. We have a vegetable cart that sat next to it and on hot days, the veg actually partially cooked sitting in the hot kitchen and would go bad a day after buying it. Last week - I finally had enough and we went out and got our MASSIVE 'American style' fridge.

Ireland - Day 2 - The Lakes of Killnary

On our first full day in Ireland, we decided to stay local and explore Killnary (the city our hotel was in). In our guide book, there was a whole section on the Lakes of Killnary and since the pictures looked beautiful, we started there. We spent the entire day walking through nature trails exploring the different lakes and wooded areas.
In the morning it was quite overcast so I started with black in white film knowing that the color film would end up grainy and grey, but I wasn't happy with the results I got with the black and white either. The photos don't do the area justice at all. The clouds hung over the mountains like a low deep fog and the sun made the sky glow behind the clouds.
Later in the afternoon, the sun came out and it turned out to be a beautiful day. We found different places in the guide book to visit and spent the day wondering around woods and the the nature trails of national parks trying to find the spots in the book. We walked miles upon miles …