If not for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all...

Wednesday, June 27, 2012
So my son has an ear infection.  We're supposed to be flying out for our trip home on Friday.  The problem is, you can't fly with an ear infection.  It can cause the eardrum to burst.  The infection started late Sunday night. I was up all night with a miserable little boy who cried on & off all night. We got to see the doctor Monday afternoon when the doctor confirmed my fear of an ear infection.  He said it was a severe infection, gave us antibiotics and told me to bring him back Thursay to either clear him to fly or tell us we have to postpone our flight. 
Today my son is still in pain and still running a fever.  He is showing little sign of improvment and I am really stressed out.  We can change our flight, but there is a £200 fee per person and we'llhave to pay the price difference in fares (a last minute ticket costs a pretty penny).  This ear infection may cause is to have to spend part of our trip in my mother's guest room and cut our spending money for the trip drasticlly. We'll know tomorrow how bad the situation really is.

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My Contempt For The Smiley Face

Saturday, June 23, 2012
I can't tell you how much I detest the need for the :-) and 'lol' in the modern world.  We spend far too much time writing emails, text messages and facebook comments than actually communicating with each other.  A tone cannot be heard in text form.  If like me, your sense of humor is largely made up of sarcasm and dry humor, the need for the smiley face and abbreviations like lol are constantly needed to make sure people know that you are indeed kidding and not a total bitch.
I can't tell you how many misunderstandings I've had over texts, instant messages, emails or social networks because the tone of a comment could not be heard and because it's not a real time conversation. Things have been misconstrued and blown out of proportion in ways that would never happen in a face to face or telephone conversation.  I have an ex that I've had countless unnecessary blow out arguments with that would never have taken place if modern technology didn't exist. If we had been on the phone or face to face, we would have had the opportunity to say, 'Wait, that's not what I meant. Or please don't misunderstand, I love you' or if we were together, how far would a kiss have gone to resolve such things, but instead we reacted badly to something that was misunderstood and in turn the other reacted badly to that reaction and the outcome was usually catastrophic. It was all so avoidable and not only that, but when responding through technology, we had the time to find the words that would cut much deeper and damage was done that took years to forgive. How sad is that?
I hate that the world has been reduced to such superficial communication that doesn't require actual human contact where you can tell by my tone of voice or actual smile on my face that I'm being facetious without having to add the dreaded ;-).  Every time I am forced to use these symbols when communicating I resent the need for them and wish the telephone and doorbell were sounds we hear more than we hear the notifications on our phones or computers.

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Homeward Bound

Friday, we leave for NJ.  My sister is getting married.  For a while I thought we wouldn't make it to the wedding.  She got engaged in December only weeks after our last trip back.  Trips home cost a small fortune and with so little time to save, I figured it would be on a wing and a prayer.  Somehow, it worked out. Somehow we found the money.  This will be the most expensive trip yet.  It's peak season and the airline tickets alone cost $4000. We don't want to stay with my mother (staying with family is for such long visits is suffocating for everyone involved) so the hotel is costing another $3000.  After the car rental, food expenses, the maid of honor dress I'll have to buy for the wedding and spending money, it will probably exceed $10,000.  It's staggering and a real hardship for us (one that no-one in my family could ever appreciate), but it is what it is and missing the wedding was just not an option.
This will also be our shortest trip yet.  We'll be there for 2 1/2 weeks. My husband offered 3 weeks, but every time we go for an extended trip, I'm ready to go after a couple of weeks and thought I'd rather leave sad to go than wanting to.  If that makes any sense.  For those who know me, I know it does.  I just hope I made the right choice.  It's funny, just writing about it makes me want a cigarette.  It's the first time in months that it has crossed my mind, but trips home have that effect on me.
I'm glad I'll make it to see my sister get married.  I really like the man she's marrying.  I've never liked anyone she's been with, but this one I really like.  When I'm around him I feel like I've known him forever.  he just fits right in and it's lovely.  My sister has been through a lot and I am so happy she has finally found the right person to settle down with and finally start the family she has always wanted.

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A letter to someone I used to know

Friday, June 22, 2012
I dreamed of you last night.  You called me.  I answered the phone and you said, 'Chief?'
Hearing your voice after all of these years, my heart caught in my throat and all I could say was 'What's wrong? '  knowing something would have to be.
You said you needed me.
I asked, 'Can you come? You know I can't'
'I know. Yes, I can come'
I told you, 'I can't pick you up.  It's too weird.  Too much like before.'
'I know'
'You'll have to meet him.  Maybe even both of them.'
'I know'
'It will be okay. He knows me.  He knows he can trust me.  He'll understand.'
'Ok.  Thank you.'
'You know you don't have to thank me. I love you.'
'I know.'
Even in my dreams you don't say much.  After that, the dream cut to you at my door.  In the dream, I was prepared for that moment, but I know that this would never be the case.  We went out on my deck  over looking the harbor.  Like when we sat in my back yard after Jeff died.  Do you remember that?  In the dream, we talked for what seemed like a long time, but I don't remember about what.  You wouldn't tell me what was wrong. Probably because even in my dreams I can't know about your life as it is now.  You promised it wasn't your health and I was relieved to hear it and didn't pry. I don't remember what happened after that.  The next thing I remember, I woke up.
When I woke up I knew this dream was far from reality.  I know you would never call me or need me or see me, but I'll tell you it was a lovely dream.  I mean I'd never want anything to be so wrong, but in the dream I knew for sure that for you, it was the same as it was for me.  We still did what we did, it was still the wrong time - wrong place and we both lived a lifetime since, but we would always be us.  Nothing and nobody could change that even though we both have moved on - happy endings and all - We were still us in the purest form.  Do you know what I mean?  In my heart of hearts, we are still us because I always kept you with me.  In my mind, you were there to give me strength and cheer me on to help get me through long after you were a part of my life.  I guess it was easy because I was used to you not being there.  Let's face it, you were never there for long, but it didn't change what we were to each other. I know it's different for you. Because I kept you with me, I was gone from your life long before you left mine. For me, you stayed with me to look after me until someone else could.
Thank you for all you've done for me.  If not for you, I wouldn't have all I have now. Thank you for teaching me so much.  I hate that I'll never see you again.  I wish it could be different. I hope you're happy.
Love, Erren

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If You Could See Me Now by Cecelia Ahern


Synopsis: Elizabeth Egan's life runs on order: Both her home and her emotions are arranged just so, with little room for spontaneity. It's how she counteracts the chaos of her family -- an alcoholic mother who left when she was young, an emotionally distant father, and a free-spirited sister, who seems to be following in their mother's footsteps, leaving her own six-yearold son, Luke, in Elizabeth's care. When Ivan, Luke's mysterious new grown-up friend, enters the picture, Elizabeth doesnt know quite what to make of him. With his penchant for adventure and colorful take on things large and small, Ivan opens Elizabeth's eyes to a whole new way of living. But is it for real? Is Ivan for real?
My Thoughts: I really enjoyed this book.  It's nice to have a an easy read every now and then.  This was a lovely, light hearted and and truly magical story. This is a highly recommended book for those who simply want to escape from the real world.  The book is written for adults and yet at times it had the feel of a magical childrens tale. It's this that not only gives the book it's charm, but makes it such an enjoyable read. 
As a side note, As a mom, it reminded me that my son will only be young once and to make sure I add as much fun into his life as possible.  I'm going to make sure I keep playing with him and go into his world of imagination as much as I can.




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Oriental Noodle Soup

Thursday, June 21, 2012

This recipe has moved to my new food blog.  Click here to be redirected.




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Left Neglected by Lisa Genova

Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Synopsis - Left Neglected is the story of Sarah, a high-powered executive and mother of three, who has a car accident and suffers a catastrophic brain injury. The brain injury results in Left Neglect Syndrome — a disability where she doesn’t recognize anything on the left side, even her own hand or leg.
My thoughts - I had extremely high hopes for Left Neglected because it got such great reviews. Unfortunately, this book did not live up to my expectations. This was the first book in a very long time that I actually skipped pages. I never felt a connection with the central character and by the end of the book, I just didn't care what happened to her. I think the author went over the top with her portrayal of the modern career woman. The main character is in a major accident and misses her Blackberry just as much as she misses kids (maybe more)? I got the point, but did I have to be slammed over the head with it? At first I related with her as a mother and as someone who had a career and knows what it's like to work long hours (even though I've never done both at the same time), but after a while it became too much about her career over her family and it made the character unlikable and the story implausible.  In the end, I was bored and just wanted to finish it so I could move on to something else.
As a side note, I noticed this book has shown up in the genera of 'Chick Lit' and maybe that's the problem - It's seldom I like 'Chick Lit' it's not my thing.  If you are a fan of Chick Lit, you may feel differently.  It got great reviews, but just didn't work for me.

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Baptism by fire

When I got my first Systems Administrator job I had no idea what I was doing. I lied on my resume.  I went to school for systems administration, but had no hands on experience. When I started working, I learned on the job figuring it out as I went along.  I called this process ' Baptism by Fire'.  I think my boss knew I didn't have a clue, but he gave me a shot anyway.   He'd give me tasks to do and then leave me to it to figure it out.  I always did, but it was stressful as hell learning as I flew by the seat of my pants every day.  I was with that company for five years and by the end, I couldn't have a day off without them calling me for help with something.  I became an invaluable employee and was very good at my job.  In the end, the company was sold and I ended up having to move on, but to this day that job was the best and most rewarding job I ever had.
Starting my new business is another process of baptism by fire.  I have no idea what I'm doing.  The site design is taking me much longer than it should because I'm re-learning everything as I go.  I don't have a clue how to setup an e-commerce site (my other business came with a ready made shop that was run by the company I sold for) and I feel like I may be in over my head. 
In the past few days I picked up three different beauty companies that I'll be selling for.  I signed on with a well known beauty company this morning.  I'm really excited, but I am ridiculously unqualified to do what I've pitched to the cosmetics companies.  If I pull this off it will be a real achievement. The thing is that not succeeding just isn't an option.  I'll figure it out because there is just no other alternative. How long it takes me to do it is a whole other story.

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Big Boy School

Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Ethan is starting school in September.  I am heart broken over it.  Where I grew up, children don't start school until they are five.  They start kindergarten and only have a half day until they start first grade.  Ethan has only just turned four and he starts school all day every day in September.  I feel like it's too soon.  I feel like my baby is being taken away from me a year early. I also feel like he's just too young to be going to school all day every day (well, Monday - through Friday anyway).
Out of all the moms I know who have kids starting school this year, I'm the only one who's heart broken instead of celebrating. I've been really emotional for months now.  We got the letter in the mail a few months ago letting us know what school he'll be going to and I've been really emotional ever since.  I tear up randomly and sometimes I look at him and wonder what happened to my baby?  He's growing up so fast and I'm just not ready. 
We had to take him to the new school (big boy school) yesterday for a taster session.  He got to visit the class, meet the teachers, play and join in with the morning session.  When we walked in, he hid behind me.  He was really scared, which was hard for me to watch because he's never usually shy.  He's a real social kid.  He usually throws himself into social situations and will talk or play with anyone.  He was really scared and would talk to anyone and held on to me & his dad for dear life.  He wouldn't talk to anyone.  Some of the boys and girls wanted to look after him, but he was too shy.  As soon as we got there, they went out to the playground, but Ethan didn't want to join them.  He played in the classroom while they were gone.  When they came back in, they all sat in a circle for snack and story time.  One of the boys brought Ethan an apple.  He took it, but still didn't want to join in and talk.  It worried me and I just kept thinking he's just not ready.  He's too young.
When story time ended, the children split up into different activities.  Out of the blue, Ethan asked if he could go with them.  He came out of his shell and joined in playing with the children and ended up having a really great time. he even asked to stay for their phonics lesson and joined in.  The teachers all agreed that he'll be fine.  I'm sure they are right.  He'll be fine.  It will be me who won't stop crying!

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My New Business

Monday, June 18, 2012
I'm starting a new business.  Up until a few months ago, I had a web business selling beauty products.  I started it about 6 years ago and for a while, it did quite well, but the company I was selling for made some bad business decisions through the years and my business was effected.  I was down to making only a few hundreds pounds before they went out of business and I lost mine. 
Even though I wasn't making a lot of money towards the end, we've still suffered without the extra income. So, I've been working hard to start a new business.  I'm going to stick with selling beauty products and have been researching suppliers as well as building the website.  I've been working so hard and have a long way to go, but I'm proud of how the site is looking so far and today, I had a great meeting with a new skincare company.  They love my business plan and have agreed to take me on as a retailer for their products.  I'm really excited.  I have a cosmetics line I'll be selling and now have a skin care line as well.
It's been a really long time since I've set up a web site and my skills are rusty.  I've been going crazy trying to figure it all out as I go.  So if I'm slow blogging, it's only because I am busy with setting up my business, but I'll still be blogging as much as possible.

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Go Mommy, Go!

Thursday, June 14, 2012
I started working out again about a week ago.  I quit smoking two months go (I started up again last year after quitting for 6 years), I've  lost 12lbs and  now I'm ready to start working out again to get to my goal.  I lost 50 lbs after having my son.  Yes, that's right I gained a whopping 50lbs and it took me ages to lose it.  Around this time last year I nearly reached my goal weight, but to be honest I was happy being a size 6 (10 UK) and lost momentum on reaching my goal weight.  Then last fall I went to NJ for a visit and gained 10lbs back (I always gain 10lbs just stepping foot on American soil!).  When I got back, I had a flare up of my arthritis, was put on steroids and gained another 10lbs. Before I knew it, I was a busting out of my size 8 clothes (12 UK) and feeling fat again.  I know there's no shame in being a size 8, but I am 5' 2" and it's big for me.  Before getting pregnant, I was never big in my life and all I've wanted is to get back to my old self.  I'm back down to a size 6 again and determined to get to my original goal weight.  I have 10lbs to go.
Like I said, I've started my exercise regimen and I'm feeling good about it, but it's really hard to find the time.  Yesterday, I ran out of time for my workout before having to pick my son up from preschool.  I don't drive in the UK (that's a whole other blog entry).  Picking up my son is an hours walk (1/2 hour there - 1/2 hour back).  Yesterday, I picked him up, went grocery shopping on the way home, loaded the groceries  into the stroller and started the 30 minute walk home.  After all that, I knew I'd never have the energy to workout once I got home so I Incorporated my workout into the walk home.
I got my son an ice cream ( to lore him into the stroller) and started power walking while pushing my son & the groceries in the stroller.  I told my son I had to exercise.  I told him if I slowed down to cheer me on to help me get going again.  He did.  Every time I slowed down, he'd yell, 'Go Mommy, Go!' and I'd sprint to the street light or the mail box or whatever he'd assign my goal to be (power walking in between).  I must have looked nuts running in my skinny jeans and ballet flats.  At one point a friend past us in her car, slowed down and yelled out the window, 'You have some speed for a little thing!' I stopped to chat with her, my son got out of the stroller and onto his scooter and we raced the rest of the way home - giggling the whole time.
Today, my son is home all day.  I told him I had to workout and offered to put on a DVD for him.  He asked to watch me instead which he did - cheering me on the whole time. 
As wonderful as it was to have a cheerleader, he got in the way a lot and made the workout last a lot longer than it should have been so next time I'll probably wait until he goes to bed.

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Honey Soy Glazed Chicken with Broccoli

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

  
This recipe has moved to my new food blog.  Click here to be redirected.




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Ethan's 4th Birthday

Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Ethan turned 4 last week.  I made it a week long celebration trying to make it as special as I could.  He was so excited about turning four.  Why should all the excitement be over after just one day?  His birthday as on Tuesday.  He wanted a dinosaur birthday so what better way to spend the day than at the Natural History Museum in London?  We started with birthday gifts first thing in the morning followed by breakfast which was finished off with a cupcake complete with a candle and singing happy birthday. He got dressed into his usual 'Dino Dan' uniform (Dino Dan is a TV show that Ethan is obsessed with. Dan only wears yellow shits and Khaki shorts or cargo pants so most of the time it's all my son will wear) and we were off.  We took the train into London which was a treat in its self. He told everyone he could on the train that he was going to see the dinosaurs.  It was wonderful to see him so excited.
As soon as you walk into the museum there is a huge skeleton of a long necked dinosaur and he ran straight for it as my husband stopped to buy a map (knowing Ethan always needs a map for his adventures).  As soon as Ethan saw the skeleton he just looked up in awe and said 'It's a brachiosaurus!, Let's go!' and headed further into the museum.  I had to stop him before he ran off.  I told him that first we had to stop at the desk for his explorer pack.  The museum gives out back packs complete with explorer hat, adventure kit & binoculars. The kit included a task they needed to complete and clues.  He loved it!
I have to say he was very quiet walking through the dinosaur exhibit.  I think he was a little scared as well as a bit awe stricken by the whole thing.  The exhibit is very dark and probably seems quite ominous for a little kid.  He did well, but lacked the WOWs I expected him to have.  He looked around  interested, but allot quieter than I ever expected he would be.
At the end of the exhibit there is a dark corner with no chance of an exit without going into a dark room that houses a huge animatronic T-Rex.  I thought it would scare the pants off the poor kid (we bring him to a local park that has one that moves and roars and he has never gotten the nerve up to go in.  He once begged them to turn it off so that he could go in without the roaring), but he was really brave and we even hung out in there for a while to film some video and took some photos.  We stayed at the museum the entire day and although I offered to, he never wanted to go back to see the dinosaurs before we left.
We got home late that night.  He slept in the next day and skipped nursery school to stay home & play with his new toys.  The following day they had a party at his nursery school for the Queen's Jubilee where they sang Happy Birthday to him so he thought the party was for him and then on Saturday he had his birthday party with all of his friends.  All in all it was a great week for him that I hope he won't soon forget.



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Dinosaur Hunting

Monday, June 11, 2012


Almost every morning as soon as my 4 year old son wakes up, he goes directly into dinosaur mode.  He transforms from a little boy into one of two characters - Nigel Marven, the time traveling star of the English TV series, Prehistoric Park or Dino Dan the main character of the Canadian TV series with the same name that plays on Nick Jr in the US. It could be 6:00 AM and he goes straight into character.  If he's Dino Dan, he puts on an American accent so I always know and if he's Nigel, he starts talking about being back in dinosaur times. No matter which character he chooses, it's always too early for dinosaur hunting and yet I find myself playing along more times than not.
The thing is I can use this characters to my advantage.  I say things like, 'If you're Nigel, then you can definitely get yourself dressed (my newly 4 year old has trouble getting dressed on his own).  He takes the clothes (unfortunately, usually a yellow shirt and khakis because that's all Dino Dan wears and it's now Ethan's every day uniform - even if he is Nigel) and starts getting dressed saying things like, 'I can get dressed all on my own because I'm a grown up.' If I want him to go use the bathroom and he's Dino Dan, I tell him 'Since you're 10 years old, surly you can get yourself on the toilet.' He says OK and runs for the bathroom (any other time he says he needs help).
The downside to using these games to get cooperation in the morning is that I have to play as well and go dinosaur hunting with my son before I've even had my morning coffee.  This morning I was running from a T-Rex called Matilda and yesterday, we were tracking the dinosaur that was stealing our shoes. Too bad I can't get Dino Dan to make his own breakfast...

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Summer Lemon Drizzle Cake with Strawberries & Cream



This recipe has moved to my new food blog.  Click here to be redirected.




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Vicks First Defence

Sunday, June 10, 2012
I always catch something when I fly. Every time I get on a plane, I make sure I pack cold & flu medicine because I know I'll be sick for the next week. I told my doctor about it because I was wondering if I could get a hold of something over the counter to help. I know in the US they sell things that are supposed to help. He told me to buy Vicks First Defense (which is available in the UK over the counter, but as of last November, was not available in the US). It's a nasal spray that you don't inhale. You simply squirt it into the side of your nostril a couple of times and wait a few seconds before you take a breath through your nose (avoiding taking a deep breath for a few minutes - I once inadvertently inhaled it and let me tell you, it was painful so take my word for it - don't inhale it). The spray is supposed to form a thin layer of gel at the back of the nose, where it should trap the virus, disarm it and help the body to flush it out. I was hesitant when I went to buy it as it was expensive (over £7.00 for a small bottle). If my doctor wasn't the one who told me to buy it, I probably would have left it, but since it was recommended by my GP, I decided £7.00 was not a lot to pay to stop from getting sick. I used it on a flight to the States and that trip was the one and only time I didn't spend my first week in NJ, sick as a dog. As a side note, my nose gets terribly dry when I fly and it helped with that as well. The next trip I used it as well, but was unknowingly already suffering from strep throat and as soon as we landed, came down with a high fever and the worst sore throat of my life. I was confined to my mother's house (sick and contagious for a week). The first bottle I bought lasted me ages so as it turned out, it wasn't too much to pay at all. I use it when I'm around sick kids as well. You are supposed to use it at the first sign of having a cold to stop it in its tracks. I can't say I've tried it before as I'm usually taking care of a sick kid that already has a cold & too busy to take care of myself. My son has had a cold for three days now. I spent the whole of last week sick with a stomach bug of some sort and have no interest in spending this week sick again. So, today when I felt a sore throat and nasal congestion coming on, I ran for the First Defense. My husband has the same symptoms as I do, but won't try the First Defense as he thinks 'it's too late for such rubbish' I'll keep you updated (in the comments section of this post) and let you know if it actually stops my cold in its tracks and if my husband ends up worse off.

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When God Was A Rabbit By Sarah Winman

Saturday, June 9, 2012
Synopsis: This is a book about a brother and a sister. It's a book about secrets and starting over, friendship and family, triumph and tragedy, and everything in between. More than anything, it's a book about love in all its forms. In a remarkably honest and confident voice, Sarah Winman has written the story of a memorable young heroine, Elly, and her loss of innocence-a magical portrait of growing up and the pull and power of family ties.
My review: I absolutely loved this book not only for the beautiful writing but also for the characters and the relationships they had with each other. I added it to my list of favorites. It is a beautiful, funny, tragic, laugh out loud & read through your tears type of book. I have never laughed, cringed & cried so much in a novel. The story is poignant and filled with ups and downs that will make you want to keep reading and sorry when it's over.

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Book Club Changed My Life

I had book club last night. This month we celebrated our one year anniversary. For me it feels like more than a year because I almost forget what it was like to not have these ladies in my life. I started the book club because I thought it would be a way to try to meet more people. Up until then, I had one friend in this country. My closest English friend, Angela. She reads as much as I do and she was immediately on board. She invited friends who also invited friends and before we knew it, we had a group of eight. Three of the original members quickly dropped out, but have since been replaced twice over. We have a group of twelve now (although never have all twelve at the same meeting). It's a wonderful group of woman and a great group of friends. Book club goes like this: We meet once a month. The hostess discusses the book she chose in her home. There is always a list of questions prepared ahead of time for discussion starters and the hostess provides food and the members bring a bottle (that's where the after party comes in). The book discussions vary in length, although there have been times we hardly touched upon the book at all, but it all depends how good the book was that month. The rest of the night is considered the after party and which we spend drinking and having fun. We start at 8:00 and the latest the party has lasted has been until around 2:00AM. It's been known to get a bit rowdy at times or it can be quiet and chatty. I would say that most of the members hate to miss Book Club. We are all Moms (with the exception of our newest & youngest member who was born the same year I graduated high school) and for some of us, it's our one night a month to let our hair down and have a good time. In book club we discuss our lives - the big and small stuff. We have made each other laugh and at times we've shared a few tears and through it all we have become a big group of friends and I'm proud to say that even though it's a large group of woman, there has never been a falling out or catty behavior. This year I had the first birthday party since I moved to this country (nearly 8 years ago). Angela had it at her house and there were fourteen people there - fourteen people I know and like. Fourteen people who wanted to come to celebrate my birthday. It was a fabulous night. I go out to lunch now and then too with various people. I have play dates and coffee mornings and get invited to parties and it's all thanks to book club. Book club really did change my life. Don't get me wrong, I still don't have a full social calendar. I don't see many of the girls outside book club very often at all, but I have friends. I have one night a month where I get a multitude of hugs when I walk into the room and always feel they are genuine and welcoming and for the first time since this move, I no longer feel out of place in a crowd.

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A strange dream...

Friday, June 8, 2012
I don't know why so many of my dreams take place in the house I grew up in. I haven't lived there in almost 20 years now. The latest was this morning. I dreamed I was planning a 40th birthday party for one of my English friends (Which is odd for 2 reasons - the house I grew up in was in Belford, NJ and my English friend is 45). I had two of my English friends over to help me with a photo collage that we'd hang at the party. I guess the house I grew up in was now in England. We were in the back room of the house. A room that was once my nursery as a baby, turned into my brother's room when my sister was born and then an office later on. The room in my dream was an office, but it was decorated in a way that didn't fit the house when I was growing up or my house now. My friends and I were discussing weight loss/gain. I was standing up against a desk I didn't recognise telling them I always look 20 lbs less than I actually am (which is true) and that they shouldn't get hung up on what the scale says (as one of them stood on a scale which was suddenly on the floor beside me). I told one of them that at 5' 2", I weigh more than her husband does (again, true albeit her husband is not a big guy) which you'd never guess as I wear a size 10 (UK/6 US). They looked at me in awe. "It's true!" I told them. "The only time the phantom 20 lbs shows is if you photograph me at a certain angle and all of a sudden it manifests it's self into multitude of chins and fat you never see otherwise!" Again - true. Out of nowhere the room felt hot. I said, "Could it be any hotter in here?" as I walked over to the closet that in my dream (not in real life) housed a hot water heater. I felt the door and it was hot. I thought I should open the door to air out the closet. I opened the door and all of a sudden, what was a tiny closet in reality, became Tardis like. It was huge and appeared to be an attic space which was dark with beams & insulation exposed. The boiler was on its side and burst into flames. I yelled for the girls to get out of the house & in a flash they were out on the front lawn. My husband was downstairs. I ran from the room to the top of the stairs. I could see him in the room below. he was in my childhood den which was decorated just as it was when I was a child. He was laying on the floor watching TV with a baby in a baby seat next to him. I yelled for him, but he couldn't hear me over the TV which was turned up loud. I screamed "BABE!" nothing. He didn't look up. My feet were rooted to the spot. I couldn't move. I screamed "BABE! BABE! BABE!" he still didn't flinch. I was able to move to the back door at the top of the stairs and opened it for the cats to get out of the house. I thought about my cat Luka, who panics easily. I wanted to find him and get him out. I called the other cat, Alfie who I knew would come, but Luka, poor Luka. Please get out Luka! "BABE" I finally screamed again and my husband finally looked and yelled in annoyance "What??" I yelled down to him, "there's a fire. Get the baby (in reality my son is 4) and the cats and get out of the house!... Then I woke up. I woke up in a panic for the 2nd time this week (although I can't remember the other dream). Later, I told my husband about the dream. Saying how strange it was. He says your brain just forms dreams from memories; that's why so many things were combined and jumbled. Then he added, "That and you think I don't listen to you." Which is again, very true. :-)

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Hello Again

Thursday, June 7, 2012
Yes, I am still alive. I've come to the conclusion that I am a fair weather blogger - literally. I don't really blog in the winter. I don't know why. It's not that I get down in the winter. Well, maybe a little. I mean English winters are long and dark. It's enough to get anyone down, but I honestly I don't walk around depressed. I guess I just get quiet. Well, the sun is shining and I'm feeling inspired. I actually have loads of book reviews and recipes already written and ready for days I feel less than inspired. Maybe with a little luck, when the next grey dark winter arrives, I'll be so used to blogging, it will stay a part of my routine. I know I've said it before, but I'm back (for now).

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