Taken Up Residence

Tuesday, May 31, 2011
This morning I came down to find this in my yard. The fox sleeping all snug and comfy on my lawn. I went to let my cats out, saw the fox and quickly shut the door. It's taken up residence in my yard! I went and got my camera and took these photos from the window.



It saw me and stayed put. We made eye contact and it was completely unaffected by my presents. If anything it seemed bored by me and just sprawled out and went back to sleep.

Shortly there after, my cat Luka, jumped out the window, puffed himself up and went for the fox. The fox jumped up and ran with Luka chasing after it. I haven't seen either of them since and I'm trying to remain calm and hope that the fact that the fox ran away is a good sign that Luka is OK and just standing guard somewhere.

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Book Blog

Monday, May 30, 2011
To all of my book blog friends - I'm sorry for the gap in book talk, but with planning my son's birthday party and having house guests for the last week, I haven't touched a book in a little while. I'll get back to it this week. Thank you all for the lovely comments and warm welcome! :-)

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Our Murdous Neighborbood Fox


As you may have read in the my earlier post (Luka's Misadventure),we have a murderous fox in the neighborhood. He's lurks about day and night. So far he's killed the pet rabbit next door, a cat the night Luka (one of my cats) went missing and two seagulls 2 nights running. Tonight, I caught Luka chasing the fox. The photo is of the fox looking down at him after being chased onto the fence while I was yelling out the window for the cat to get the hell in the house. I only took the picture because Wayne was on his way out of the house to get Luka in.
The creepy thing about the fox is that he's not afraid of people. He was in the yard next door the other day looking for food and when he saw me, he glanced at me and kept roaming around the yard and the day of Ethan's party, he sat on our fence and watched us for a few minutes before we chased him away. I'm not quite sure what to do about it. I've tried keeping my cats in, but they cry all day and stalk me until I open the door. I'm afraid for them, but my husband swears to me they only hunt at night and my cats are in before dark. I just don't want it to end badly.

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The party was a big success

Ethan's Birthday was a big success. He was so excited from the minute he woke up (and was still talking about it when I put him to bed). I went into his room when he woke up wearing a party hat - which he loved and requested his immediately (only his had to be pink because my little man - who is very secure with his boyhood LOVES pink). He opened a few presents before our guests started to arrive.
At the party he had the time of his life! He had all of his favorite friends here. We had a bouncy castle, all kinds of party games and a house full of people. The party which was supposed to be from 11AM - 1:00, lasted until after 4:00 (but probably would have gone longer if the kids weren't so tired).
We had a really great crowd. This was my first birthday party living in England where I actually had friends there instead of people I associated with for the sake of the kids (but never actually formed any relationships with) or was forced to have at my in-laws because I didn't have anyone to invite.
A good time was had by all and everyone even behaved themselves (including the adults). I have to say that the best part of the day for me was watching Ethan enjoy himself so much. I got several txts from party guests & friends later in the night telling me what a good time they had. It was such a good time, I'm planning a 4th of July party as well. What a great reason to have a party - celebrating America's independents from English rule (with a bunch of Brits to celebrate with me)!

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My Little Man's 3 on Sunday

Friday, May 27, 2011
I can't believe it, but my little man turns 3 on Sunday. This is the first year that he's aware of having party and he's been talking about it for months! He's requested a Lightening McQueen themed party. He asked for balloons, a Lightening cake, a bouncy castle - the works and of course Mommy has been planning it for months!
At first I thought I didn't know enough people to have a party. Boy, did I cry the first time he asked for a birthday party. I thought I'd have to pay people to show up, but in the last few months my social life has taken a turn and on Sunday (including my in-laws who arrived on Thurs) I will have 15 - 20 adults and 10 children in my house. I am keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn't rain because I don't know where I'll put them all (English houses are NOT large).
Needless to say, Ethan is thrilled and can't wait! I am off to start wrapping his gifts. I haven't stopped preparing for days and I am exhausted, but I know it will be worth it. There is nothing better than watching my little man have a good time!

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What I don't write about...

Thursday, May 26, 2011
It may seem odd to some that I almost never write about my husband and our relationship. There are no heart-felt entries going on about him and how much I love him. The thing is, my husband requested I don't write about him a long time ago. He's of the mindset that our relationship is between us not the rest of the world. I respect that and therefore, don't write about our relationship.
What I will say is that I am madly in love with my husband. We are very close. We are a team. We are complete opposites, but never fight(even when I sometimes yell). In our years together we have had maybe 3 serious arguments. He's the love of my life and the best dad I know. He knows me through and through which is why he's not bothered by the entries that involve any past relationships or love affairs (the ex files)because he doesn't expect me to forget what made me who I am today. What matters most is the here and now. We tell each other all the time how lucky we are to have the sort of relationship we have and we know we are truly blessed (although I'm not sure that's a word in his vocabulary).
Now that we're parents, we do all we can to remain a couple as well. We have no babysitters (no family here or fiends that aren't parents themselves) so we don't get to go out for dinners or drinks like we used to. What we do now is have morning dates. When Ethan is at nursery school, we make time for each other. I dress nice for him (as sexy as I can for 9AM) and do my hair & make-up as I would if we were going out to dinner. We go out for coffee, shopping, lunch or stay home for other things he wouldn't like me to mention. When we're out, we hold hands just as we always have and we never ever refer to each other by our names - just 'Babe'. I have heard him say my name very few times in all the years we are together so when he does say it, it either sounds odd or makes me weak in the knees (depending on the setting).
I know we're not like other couples. We're not jealous or hung up on each other's past. Which is why it makes me laugh when he breaks out in big red blotches if any one has anything unkind to say about his ex and why he doesn't mind at all that my blog has a category titled 'The ex files' or that I believe once you love someone - you always love them. The nature of the love may change, but it's still love that is not erased just because your relationship ends.
I know I'm breaking the rules here by writing about our relationship, but I'm hoping one time in years will be ok. I'd love to add a photo here, but that would definitely be crossing a line!

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Top 25 Expat Blogs

Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Thanks again to all that have voted for me. As of today, my blog is in the top 10 of the votes :-) Please keep voting!

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For One More Day By Mitch Albom

Tuesday, May 24, 2011
For One More Day is the story of a mother and a son, and a relationship that covers a lifetime and beyond. It explores the question: What would you do if you could spend one more day with a lost loved one? As a child, Charley “Chick” Benetto was told by his father, “You can be a mama’s boy or a daddy’s boy, but you can’t be both.” So he chooses his father, only to see the man disappear when Charley is on the verge of adolescence. Decades later, Charley is a broken man. His life has been crumbled by alcohol and regret. He loses his job. He leaves his family. He hits bottom after discovering his only daughter has shut him out of her wedding. And he decides to take his own life. He makes a midnight ride to his small hometown, with plans to do himself in. But upon failing even to do that, he staggers back to his old house, only to make an astonishing discovery. His mother -- who died eight years earlier -- is still living there, and welcomes him home as if nothing ever happened. Albom has said his relationship with his own mother was largely behind the story of the book, and that several incidents in “For One More Day” are actual events from his childhood.
I read this book in one day while in bed with the flu. For me, it was a page turner in it's truest sense. I never put it down. It was a wonderful story about a child caught between parents (something I know a thing or two about) and a mother that would do anything for her children. It made me hope beyond hope that I end up being the Mom I want to be. A truly touching story.
To check it out on Amazon.com click the title above.

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10 LBS!!

I've gained 10 f@cking pounds! 10 lbs!! After I worked so hard to lose so much weight, in 3 weeks I gained 10lbs!! I'm so pissed off at myself! I have spent the last few weeks pretty much sedentary because of first, a flareup and then this damned flu, but that doesn't excuse for the comfort eating of ice cream, cookies and what ever else I could get my hands on. It was like being thin again gave me license to eat what ever I wanted. Thank God I'll be starting with my trainer soon. It will keep me in check and force me back to my diet (with another 10lbs to lose!). I am such an idiot!

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Luka's Misadventure

I have two cats. Alfie, and Luka. They are brothers. They're full breed Tonkanese. I could have had any old cat, but mt stylish husband had to have beauty and style and that's what we got. Before Ethan, they were my babies and my only companions in this country.
Alfie is an ultra sweet, super affectionate pain in the ass. He's verbal as hell. He walks around the house following me around like a puppy dog. He annoys the heck out of me, but I love him dearly. His only crime is he loves me too much.
Luka is beautiful. I adore him. He's gentle soul. He's quiet and sweet, but he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. He's unbelievably skiddish. So much that his claws are permanently out; he doesn't know how to retract them so when he walks you hear his claws hit the floor with his little foot steps. The trouble with that is if he's lying on me when something spooks him, blood is drawn!
Anyway, the first night my flu started, Luka went missing. My cats go out during the day, but come home for dinner and are kept in for the night due to foxes in the area. Luka didn't come home when I called for dinner. After putting Ethan to bed, I went and looked for him. Usually if he gets himself into trouble, I walk around and call him. He meows back to me until I find him. I called and looked for hours that night. Wayne and I took turns, but we both know he's only answer my calls. I found a few foxes, but no Luka. In the end, I was a crying mess. I hated going to bed without having him safe at home. I clung to Wayne and cried myself to sleep.
We were woken that night by the unmistakable, horrible sounds of a cat being attached outside (the kind of sound you only hear in the movies). Wayne sprung out of bed and ran for the door, but I was the first to get dressed and left Wayne standing at the door (handing him his trousers on my way out). I took a flashlight and headed for where the sounds were coming from. On the next street over, I saw a large fox standing over something on the ground. I called out and he jumped onto an 8 foot fence where he stood looking down on me. We starred each other down - eyes locked and neither of us moving. I thought I can try to get to what ever he had on the ground, but what if he goes for me(it was a wild animal)?? What if I find Luka dead in a bloody mess?? I got scared and (not in my finest moment) I ran. I ran to my husband crying that I was too scared. I heard the fence 2 more times before Wayne had a chance to make it over there. I knew the fox got what he had and took off.
When Wayne got back, we went to bed for a sleepless night with the sound of that poor cat ringing in our ears. By morning, I was a mess. I woke by 6AM and went straight for the front window. No Luka. I swore I heard him, but assumed it was my imagination.
I went down stairs and in desperation, opened the door hoping Luka would come tearing in - Nothing. I poked my head out and called for him with a pathetic call. That's when I heard him. I yelled for him and looked desperately for him. He called back to me with just as much desperation. That's when I saw him - in my neighbors 2nd floor window. He'd been trapped in their house all night. As early as it was, I knocked at their door as Luka stood at the window trembling and crying. No answer. They were sleeping. Not able to get to me, Luka started to panic. Afraid he'd jump, I had no choice than to go in the house and wait. After knocking every 20 minutes, they finally opened their door just before 9AM. I went in and saved my little cat and he went straight for the litter tray. That day he never left my side and I was happy to have him with me - Safe and sound.
I don't know how or why he ended up trapped in my neighbors house, but like I said - he's not the sharpest tool in the shed!

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Top 25 Expat Blogs from Circle of Moms

Monday, May 23, 2011
I just want to say thank you to who ever nominated me on the top 25 expat blog list with Circle of Moms. I didn't know anything about it until today. So a big Thank You and Thank you to anyone who voted so far. I think I'm in the running :-)
To vote, just click the pink vote for me banner, scroll down to Pond Hopper and click thumbs up symbol. You can vote once a day until June 6th :-)

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Recovering

I am recovering slowly. I woke up this morning and in my infinite wisdom, decided I was sick and tired of being sick and tired so I thought I'd will myself better. Wayne left early so I took a shower, got dressed and walked Ethan to nursery school (an hours walk there and back - after 4 days in bed). I went to the grocery store, did some shopping and walked back carrying the bags.
By the time I got home, I felt like I was going to drop. The coughing started again followed by the fatigue, nausea and headache. Needless to say, I took a cab to pick him up and I've been taking it easy for the rest of the day.
I miss the days of having a car. Living in the UK (in our financial situation) a second car is just not an option. With gas prices being sky high & insurance rates being ridicules, I don't know who could afford it. I don't know too many 2 car families out here that's for sure.
Plus, we don't even have a second parking space out side the house. I'd have to hunt for parking around the neighborhood everyday and walk back to the house (with a three year old at toe). let's face it - I might as well walk. But oh how I miss having a car. Last week, I had to ask my a friend to pick up Ethan from nursery for me because I felt too bad to even think about getting a cab. She was a God send and went completely out of her way to take care of it for me. Today, I didn't want to have to depend on anyone so I forced it. A bit too soon. I really hope I'm better by Wednesday or it will be week 3 of putting off training.

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No one is to blame

After reading The book of Joe, I downloaded 'No One Is to Blame' by Howard Jones. When I read about the song in the book, I though - Great song! It didn't throw me back to the time though. No one came to mind. Nothing in particular came back to me. All I thought was 'Great Song!' Then I downloaded it.
All of a sudden, it was 1989 and I was thrown back to a bright smiled, blond, blue-eyed boy that sang the song to me once. I instantly smiled, closed my eyes and just listened over and over again.
I wanted to email him and share my little memory, but I fear those days of sharing that sort of thing have long passed so I'm writing this instead.
It's funny, when he sang it to me, neither of us knew how very meaningful the words would become. He was just being a showman - wooing me (again, can't help smiling). Not long after, everything changed. We fell in love, he left and I'm going to be bold here and say neither of us would ever be the same...
People used to hear me speak of him and our time together (and apart) and tell me I had my head in the clouds. Maybe I did, but I'm still so grateful for it. I am grateful because if not for him, I wouldn't be here - here in this house, married to this man I am madly in love with and raising this little boy I adore so much. If not for that blue eyed boy with the bright smile, I would have given up on the fairy tale and happy ending and I would have settled for less. Because of him, I believed in love and I never settled and never gave up. I wish I could thank him for giving me that. I wish I could tell him how much he means to me. Instead, I write this and hope he stumbles upon it one day...

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The Book of Joe ('Bush Falls' in the UK) By Jonathan Tropper

After high school, Joe left sleepy Bush Falls, CT and never looked back. 15 Years later, he wrote a book that savaged everyone in his hometown (a national bestseller & hit movie). Of course he never planned to go back - Until Now...
I LOVED this book! It is rare to find an author who pulls me in from page one (and what a beginning it was!). This book was incredibly entertaining as well as thought-provoking. The story flowed and kept me intrigued. I loved the main character and highly enjoyed the sarcasm and wit. It made me laugh out loud, shed a few tears and even made me download a few songs I haven't heard in a great while.
As someone who has moved away from their home town and also grew up in the 80s, I greatly appreciate it. The descriptions are wonderful and the characters are true to life - Bravo! I can't wait to read more books by Jonathan Trooper.
Click the title above to check it out on Amazon.com or on this side of the pond, click here

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The Dead of Summer

Sunday, May 22, 2011
Synopsis - At thirteen, Anita was the sole witness to London’s notorious cave murders of 1986, which left three children dead. Told seven years later to the police psychologist who interviewed her at the time of the killings, Anita’s story reveals the savagery of the schoolyard one chilling detail at a time until the truth of what actually happened reveals itself with startling ferocity.

This is my first book club book. At first, I didn't enjoy this book. the language made it difficult (80s English slang), but once I got used to it, I found it to be a captivating read. Narrator tells it like it is - foul language included. Although the story takes you from past to present, the narration remains a constant first hand account from the main character. The plot is full of intrigue and gives a twist at the end that I never saw coming (and I always see them coming).
I have to say though, this book is DARK it's a book about the murder of children at the hand of another child. It's not for the fainthearted. It's bloody at parts and left me unsettled. That being said, it was a good book that did it's job, it kept me interested and I've thought about it a lot since I finished it.
Check it out at Amazon.com by clicking the title above or for Amazon.co.uk, click here

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The Flu

Thursday, May 19, 2011
I've had the flu for the past 5 days. I still feel like hell, but at least I'm some-what up and around (not that Moms get sick days). I'll be back as soon as I'm feeling better...

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The Help by Kathryn Stockett

Sunday, May 15, 2011
Synopsis - Set in Mississippi during the 1960s, Skeeter is a southern society girl who returns from college determined to become a writer, but turns her friends' lives (and a small Mississippi town) upside down when she decides to interview the black women who have spent their lives taking care of prominent southern families. Aibileen, Skeeter's friend's housekeeper, is the first to open up (to the dismay of her friends in the tight-knit black community). Despite Skeeter's life-long friendships hanging in the balance, she and Aibileen continue their collaboration and soon more women come forward to tell their stories.
Along the way, unlikely friendships are forged and a new sisterhood emerges, but not before everyone in town has a thing or two to say themselves when they become unwittingly (and unwillingly) caught up in the changing times.
I downloaded this as an audio book to listen to while I worked or during workouts. I have tried reading it in book form several times, but struggled with the deep south drawl that it's written in. Hearing it read by people who almost acted it out, made it so much easier.
This author is extraordinarily talented, not many authors can make me laugh out loud while on the brink of tears, but Kathryn Stockett has that sort of talent. I absolutely loved this book.
The characters (big and small) were so well written, that you felt as if you knew them yourself. Some were immensely unlikable while others were so enjoyable, I was sorry when the book was over.
The imagery was also incredibly well written. So much that, by the end of the book, I read the last 20 chapters in book form so that I could experience reading the author's written word. This was a rare book that left me wanting more at the end.
Check it out at Amazon.com by clicking the title above or for Amazon.co.uk click here

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Book Club

Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Well, my first book club meeting was a complete success. We had a really great time. There were six of us (2 couldn't make it). I hosted. I haven't had that many people in my house since we moved here (not counting Ethan's Birthday parties). The wine and food kept flowing and we all really enjoyed our selves.
Angela and her friends all came together and once they left, my new friend Deirdre and I sat and had a couple more drinks and laughs. Wayne must have had a hell of a time listening to us giggling like a couple of school girls in the next room.
Here's the downside though. I NEVER drink. That combined with my new meds, was not a pretty combination! I was terribly sick that night and was in bed the entire next day! I have to say it was well worth it though. I'll just have to be careful at our next meeting...

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Everything and Nothing by Araminta Hall

Monday, May 9, 2011
On the back of the book, they try selling this as a gripping, psychological suspense read. That it wasn't! To me, it was just dull. The story itself sounded promising but, I found it boring and the characters were unlikable - not just one of them - ALL OF THEM. I was really disappointed with this!
I bought this book because it got such great reviews. Out of 26 people on Amazon.co.uk, it got an average of 5 stars. I expected great things and had to push my way through it. This is one of those times when I start to wonder about the UK - US differences.
On a whole, the book made marriage and parenthood seem bleak. Since I enjoy both my husband and being a mother, I just couldn't relate.

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My Amazing GP

Friday, May 6, 2011
I finally go to consult with my doctor yesterday. It's his office that's terrible - not him. I love my doctor. I have had a great many doctors in my life and have had none I would say that about, but my doctor is the best! He in no uncertain terms, saved my husband's life with a house call. Yes, that's right - I said a HOUSE CALL. A little over a year ago, my husband was very ill for about a week with a scorching fever. He would not go to the doctor. Five days in, I convinced him to go. Dr Van Wyk (my doctor) was unavailable and we saw one we didn't know who didn't lay a hand on Wayne to even take his temperature. By only speaking to him, he came to the conclusion that Wayne had a bladder infection. He gave him a cup to pee in, told him to call in 2 days for the results and sent us on our way. The next day, Wayne asked me to call an ambulance. I knew it was bad because Wayne waited 5 days to even go to the doctor (he doesn't do doctors)
I've never called an ambulance in my life. I tried to keep my cool. I called 999 (911 in the US) and then called a friend to babysit and my in-laws to tell them to make their way as soon as possible. 15 Minutes later, a paramedic came to the door and started by complaining that he had trouble finding our house. He spoke to Wayne, took his temperature, did a quick exam and told us that it was not an emergency and that we could go and wait at the ER with everyone else. At which point, I slammed the door in his face.
I immediately called my doctor's office in a state of complete panic. It was 10 minutes before they were due to close. I explained the situation to the receptionist. She said they were about to close, but she'd tell Dr. Van Wyk. A few minutes later, Dr. Van Wyk called me back. I explained and he responded with, 'I'll be right there'. He was here IN MY HOUSE within 20 minutes. He did a quick exam, told us to call a taxi and had Wayne admitted to the hospital over the phone. By the next morning, my husband had emergency surgery for a burst appendix. He was septic and in the hospital for nearly 2 weeks and out of work for 3 months. If not for Dr. Van Wyk, Wayne would probably not be here (which may explain why I love my doctor).
Dr. Van Wyk isn't like any doctor I have ever known. He calls me once a month to monitor my condition. He has researched medications & treatments and has gotten me two different specialists determined to get me the right one. He called yesterday and we had a lengthy conversation. He apologized for the medication fiasco, gave me a few new medications (1 to help me through the start of my personal training sessions) and asked I put off starting with the trainer another week - just to get my flare up under control first. I was disappointed, but re-scheduled the training. I trust Dr. Van Wyk to know what's best for me and am so grateful to have him.

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Hugless Douglas by David Melling

Thursday, May 5, 2011
Hugless Douglas is an adorable brown bear on the hunt fr the perfect hug...
This is one of the cutest storybooks I've had (and we have A LOT). Ethan had me read it to him 3 times the first day we got it and then again at bed time. I highly recommend it!
Check it out on Amazon.com by clicking the title above or on Amazon.co.uk by clicking here

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My lastest attempts at a social life...

I'm starting a book club. I can't believe it, but I have 7 women coming to my house on Friday night. I haven't had that many people in my house since moving to this country. I'm hoping it goes well.
Since the sun came out again (this country is gray and dark from November to March) and my mood lifted, I have been trying to be pro-active with building a social life. I do this every year when the sun comes out and every year I get disappointed. I figure if I keep trying, something has got to pan out eventually.
With the help of Angela, my one and only English close friend, I have been really social lately. She's introduced me to a few of her friends (one who actually lived in NJ for a while) and we've gone out a few times. With the exception of one of the ladies that are coming for the book club, they are all Angela's friends. The other, I met at Ethan's nursery school. She's the only mom who talks to me. When her 3 year old first started there, he'd scream and cry every time. I could see it was upsetting her, so one day I went up to her and gave some words of encouragement and suggested some ways to make it easier for him. The next time I saw her drop him off, he went in smiling. I was so happy for her. After that, we'd say hello & chat every time we ran into each other. It's been months now and finally, I invited her over for coffee. She came yesterday (which was really nice) and she's actually coming back today for a play date and to the book club Friday night.
I also put a post on a local Mom's website and got 3 moms to meet me at a local park for a meet up. I've done this every spring for the last 3 years and it has never worked out, but I'm trying again. All I want is just a few close friends and some more kids for Ethan to play with. I wish it didn't have to be so hard. I never in my life had trouble making friends before and I'm desperately trying not to let it make me feel like there's something wrong with me. Maybe this will be my year.

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We can re-build her - make her stronger...

Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Today, I am meeting with my new personal trainer. I had one before I got pregnant, but haven't been back to the gym in years. Now that I'm thin again, what I really need to do is tone. Because of my illness, I'm afraid of weight training. I don't want to do it wrong and make things worse for myself (which is why I had a trainer before. I need someone to help me to do the exercises correctly). We don't really have the money for a trainer, but I took the money out of my savings. I need to do this. I need to try to become stronger. If I become fit and strong, maybe I can keep the illness from progressing. Who knows, maybe I'll even start to feel better. I keep having the bionic woman words go through my head - 'We can re-build her - make her stronger.' I wish...
I'm meeting with the trainer today to go over my illness with him. I'm bringing all of my documentation and exercises from when I had physical therapy. he's being pro-active and wants to make sure he's well informed before we start next week. I can't do it this week because I'm still having a flare up from the medication fiasco I had last week. I was able to get an emergency doctor to give me a prescription over the weekend for my old meds, but it was already too late & I need time for it to start working again. It's bad today. I'm hoping I'll be able to get in to see my doctor before I go to the gym. So by Monday, I'll be ok for my first session with the personal trainer.

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A soft spot for soldiers

Tuesday, May 3, 2011
I have always had a soft spot for soldiers - well ever since I fell for a man who joined the army anyway. He wrote me letters nearly every day for 2 years telling me every little thing about his training and experiences. I was so proud of him and all that he's been through and achieved. I've had friends that joined as well. One constant was that they always came back different than they were before they left. Whether those changes were good, bad or indifferent, I admired them for having been through it (even the ones that didn't get to finish their term).
In these times of war, when I think of the soldiers that are injured or killed, I go back to the soldiers I have known and loved and it breaks my heart to think of men or boys like them having to die for their country & again, I am proud.
Today, I heard of the raid that took down Bin Laden and I am without words. I am more than impressed with what those guys did. It was an extraordinary feat. It's an amazing accomplishment. Something right out of the movies! I can't help but be happy for them. They are true heroes (all of our troops)and it's so good to hear of a win for a change.

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My little man

I just put my little man to bed. I am so in love with that little boy! He's just the sweetest little thing! The other day while walking on the marina, he stopped to look at a fish in the water. He said 'Look, Mommy a fish! I think he lost his mommy! We have to save him!' He was genuinely upset. I said, 'Baby, I'm sure he's ok. He's just going for a swim.' He said, 'No, Mommy! Save him! Please!' I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to tell him. All I thought was, the poor thing is just like me! He's not even 3 and he wants to save the world! I was overwhelmed with love for my sweet boy and gave him a big hug. He said again, 'The fishy lost his Mommy. Please save him!' A man cleaning is boat near by called out to me, 'Yeah Mommy, Jump in and save him!' I shot the guy a look and said, 'Helpful! Thanks!' Luckily, a little further away in the water, I saw some more fish just like the 'lost one' and said, 'Look Baby, his family! He's not lost! His family is right there! Ethan perked up. He smiled and said 'Bye Fishy, see you soon!'
He's such a sensitive soul. I had hoped he wouldn't end up like me in that way, but it appears he will be. I guess my job as his mother will be to find a way to make sure it doesn't get the best of him.

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They got him!

Monday, May 2, 2011
I woke up in such a bad mood. My husband was supposed to let me sleep in, but it didn't go my way. I went down to make coffee all annoyed and my husband called down to me to come up to the living room. I heard the Prime Minister's voice and thought, What on Earth is he calling me in to see (I'm usually very uninterested in British politics - posh accents put me to sleep). Annoyed and bitchy, walked in and said,'What??' he told me to look at the news ticker. I sat in disbelief and to my surprise, began to cry bittersweet tears. They got the f@cker! Bin Laden is dead! I was overcome with emotion. My only disappointment was that I didn't hear the news from my president in my country. I didn't get to celebrate with other Americans. All I could do was sit there and cry watching the footage of the Americans celebrating in the streets. I realized I would have been out there with them spontaneously celebrating that justice has finally been done. I felt enormously patriotic. I grabbed my phone & text the small group of Americans I know here in England and asked if they had seen the news yet so I had someone to rejoice with in the same way I was. Don't get me wrong, Wayne was great. He hugged me and sat there with me while I waited to see the president's speech I had missed while I slept, but he couldn't truly understand what I was feeling. I have never in my life been glad to hear of someone's death (I think I was the only one on earth to be disturbed by the sight of watching Saddam be lead to his death. To me, he looked like a pathetic old man. I wasn't sorry when he was dead, but I wasn't happy either), but today I was happy. Today, I hope there is a hell so that he burns for all eternity. Today is a good day for Americans. Today, we have some closure for that horrific day.

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