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Showing posts from 2011

A letter to my sixteen year old self...

The following letter was inspired by reading a book called 'Dear Me - A letter to my sixteen year old self'...

From:
You at 39
East Sussex, England (yes, England)

Dear Me,

I don't know why I'm bothering - you don't take advice and will probably ignore every word, but I'll try anyway...
- You should probably break up with Tommy. I know you won't believe this, but he's a terrible boyfriend. That being said, he'll be one of the best friends you'll ever have so tread lightly with him. Before you do though - make sure you've met Robin first. She leads you to people you won't want to miss.
- Speaking of Robin - be casual friends with her, but don't waste your time trying to be close friends - she is not worthy and will only disappoint you.
- On the subject of friends - Don't let a boy come between you & Nicole and what ever you do, do not punch Nelson Roman in the face. Nicole won't speak to you for a few years and you'…

New Meds

I've been having a pretty bad flare-up since I got back from the US last month. Last week, my doctor put me on new meds that have me a bit loopy. I'm hoping once I get used to them (or I finish the 2 week course he gave) that I can get back to my 5 minute writing sessions. I only got to write one, but it's a little difficult to do without a clear head. Fingers crossed, it won't be too long...

The five minute writer

I just bought a book called the five minute writer. It gives exercises and inspiration for daily writing of 5 minutes a day. As I don't blog nearly enough, I've decided to combine the two. The first exercise asks to describe a ritual or ritualistic behavior you take part in. Here's mine...
I love Mallomars (an American cookie which is a vanilla cookie topped with a marshmallow and covered in dark chocolate). They are my very favorite cookie of all time. When ever I eat one, I have on odd ritual that I follow (although I have no idea how or when it started, but it's been as long as I can remember). The first thing I do is press my finger onto the top of the chocolate covered marshmallow to crack the chocolate. I strip the marshmallow of the chocolate bit by bit (eating them as I go, but leaving the chocolate on the cookie base). After the marshmallow is bare, I then eat the rest of the cookie by taking bites. The first bite is always the best. I love biting into…

What a week (and it's only Wednesday)!

Over the weekend, an old friend contacted me and asked if she could come and stay with us. She had a baby 7 weeks ago and eluded to having problems with her husband. We haven't seen each other in years. We had a falling out over the man she is now married to because I thought he was bad news. At the time, she was only twenty and didn't want to hear what I was telling her so she put an end to our friendship and didn't speak to me again until a few months ago.
When she asked to stay, I had a feeling it was down to abuse (due to cryptic text messages and the fact she couldn't actually speak to me over the phone). With that in mind, I asked her not to tell him where she would be staying until after we spoke, but it was too late. She was on her way and he was driving her.
When they arrived, I could feel the tension. He stayed briefly and when he left she crumbled and cried. I hugged her and told her we'd talk when my son was in bed, but what ever it was it would …

Parenting is hard

During our trip to the States, my three year old son became obsessed with a TV show called Dino Dan (which they don't play in the UK so I had to buy it on iTunes before we left so he'd be able to keep watching it). On the show, a ten year old boy sees computer animated dinosaurs everywhere he goes. Now, my son also sees dinosaurs everywhere he goes. He's constantly sayings things like, 'A T-Rex! Cool!'
This morning, he tried to climb up to a window in my bedroom which is on on the top floor of our three story house to look at a dinosaur he was sure was outside. In the UK, most windows open out (like a door) and have no screens or child safety latches to keep children from falling out. In his room (also on the top floor) and in the rooms on the 2nd floor, we have window guards to keep the window from opening too wide. We didn't put them in the master suite because he's never in there without supervision. He's older now and I know it will have to be …

The last few months...

It's been months. The first part of my absence was down to my laptop being in for repairs and held by my insurance company until they decided if they were going to cover the damage or not. They had the laptop for a month and a half. I wanted to kill someone! In the end I got it back repaired, but it runs far too slow now and I've been putting off the inevitable - reformatting and starting with a clean machine again. The process is long and tedious, but I know sooner rather than later, I will have to do it.
The second part of my absence was down to 3 weeks spent in NJ visiting my family and friends (and a week of recovery time).
The trip was both wonderful and terrible (as all trips home turn out to be). The day we arrived, I came down with a high fever followed by the worst sore throat of my life. I ended up at the doctor finding out I had a bad case of strep throat. This was followed by my son coming down with it as well. Our first 7 days, we were stuck in my parents ho…

Seeing it through the eyes of a mother

While seeing footage on TV this morning, I had to try to explain to my 3 year old son what happened on 9/11. I told him some buildings fell. He asked how. I told him that some very bad men knocked them down. He asked why and then asked, can I see? I started to cry and turned on Mickey Mouse instead.
I cried for 10 minutes thinking to myself, how do you explain to a 3 year old that such evil exists in the world? I was completely overwhelmed with the knowledge that one day, my very sensitive son (who cries when he sees children play fighting), is one day going to realize that the world he lives in is one that people get into airplanes and crash them into buildings. I hate that this will happen and there's nothing I can do to shield him from it or make him feel safe when that day comes.
It's occurred to me on that day, there were parents that had to change the channel so their children would not see the horrors that unfolded. Those parents would have had to be terrified by…

The Story of Sal...

My last post made me realize I need to clarify something just to make sure no-one reading it gets the wrong idea about Sal and the nature of our relationship when we first met...
The story of Sal goes like this - It was the fall of 1992. My best friend just died. The rest of my friends were slowly dropping off (death has a way of making this happen), the first big love of my life married someone else and was having a baby with her and my new boyfriend just left for college. I felt truly alone and was miserable. In came Sal.
I was working at the customer service desk at my local mall at the time. The desk was in the middle of the mall (not in a store front). One day a the most beautiful man I had ever seen up close walked by. As he did he made eye contact and kept his gaze as he walked. He was tall and muscular, he had chiseled features, full lips, long blond hair, and pale green eyes. Later that day, I was on my break when he approached me. He asked my name. He told me his name wa…

Today

This is always a tough day for me. Nearly 20 years ago, I lost one of my very best friends. His name was Jeff. At the time, we were best friends. We told each other all the time and every time we left each other or hung up the phone, we said I love you. It doesn't matter how many years pass - it never gets easier. Some years I dread this day the whole month of August. Some years years it takes a bit longer to get to me, but it always hits me hard. This year, it didn't get to me until yesterday. I was moody and down all day (probably dreading today). This morning while having my coffee, I cried. It came like a wave and I was surprised by my tears because it's been so long, but it all came back and I missed him with all my heart and mourned losing him as if he died yesterday.
During my last trip home, I had the closest thing to a religious experience than I've had in a very long time. I was having an awful day. I had a huge argument with my mother, hadn't se…

A Great Day

Yesterday, I felt awful in the morning, but forced myself out anyway and I'm so glad I did. We started with a trip to a place called Paradise Park which is a play park for kids. It has a small science center that teaches kids about dinosaurs (as well as other things), a large botanical garden, miniature golf, playgrounds & a train ride. It has two displays of huge dinosaur models that roar as you walk by. There's one outside & one inside that's dark and the dinosaurs move as well as roar. Ethan is terrified of it and screams every time we go anywhere near it. The outdoor one is near the gardens. He's never gone anywhere near that one either (despite his love of dinosaurs). Yesterday, he was brave and went into the outside display. I was so proud of him and he ended up walking through it 3 times even touching them as he went through.
In the gift shop we bought one of those airplanes that flies by winding the propeller that's attached to a rubber band…

Miserable

I have an illness called Anklylosing Spondylitis. I've suffered with it for many years, but only got diagnosed about 3 years ago. It's managable with medication (thus far), but my husband and I have decided to try for another baby and my doctor took me off the medication (as you have to stop taking it at least a month before trying to conceive). Being off my meds is awful. I feel miserable. The pain is worse than I remember it being before the diagnosis and I feel like I'm falling apart. Every joint in my body hurts, my back is killing me and the fatigue is horrible. I hate complaining. I hate feeling useless and I HATE feeling sorry for myself. Right now I feel useless and very sorry for myself which just pisses me off to no end. Wayne told me to just relax while Ethan is at nursery school for the morning. I don't want to relax. I want to clean the house and get things done. I want to do the shopping that I need to do and be fine to push it home in the strol…

Old posts lost!

I just realized since I moved my blog to this domain, I have been missing a large number of past entries. I've been able to recover a portion of them and re-publish them, but finding out just how many there are and re-publishing them will take a great deal of time that I just don't have. I'm really bothered by this. This blog has been a chronicle of my time here in the UK and also a place where I've stored memories from throughout my life. It's really upsetting. I just don't know where to start to fix it and don't know where I'd find the time. I've already spent way too much time doing it today. How aggravating!

Robbie Williams and Brad Paisley - Collision of Worlds

My son is a huge Pixar Cars fan. We recently took him to his first movie in the cinema which had to be Cars 2. One of the songs on the Cars 2 soundtrack is a song called Collision of Worlds by Robbie Williams and Brad Paisley. My son asks to hear the song everyday. It's about the differences between being American and English. Anyone in an American/English relationship or an American living in the UK (& vise versa) will be sure to enjoy this song.
I've added the lyrics below:

At the first sign of the morning light, Old Glory's in the sky
Across the pond, it's afternoon and the Union Jack flies high
We're on our first cup of coffee
We're on our third cup of tea
And we can't pretend to live on different planets, you and me

In this collision of worlds
Watch the new day dawn on a distant shore
In this collision of worlds
Oh you can't sit this out no more

Abbey Road, Route 66, CIA, to the MI6
Right lane, left lane, Metric, Imperial
Pounds, dollars…

A few of my favorite things...

I just read an article about some of the best feelings in the world or things that just make you happy. It inspired me to make a list of some of mine (in no particular order):
* My son has a thing that he does when he's really tired - He climbs up on my lap, puts his face up against mine and lays on me. He makes this noise when he does it that lets you know he's completely content. It makes me feel like the most special person in the world!
* Freshly washed sheets. It's lovely to climb into bed with sheets fresh out of the laundry. Combined with my down pillows and my husband to curl up with - it makes me never want to get out of bed!
* When the cat chooses my lap to sleep on apposed to the couch or a bed.
* Finding the perfect gift.
* The sound of my son's laughter.
* When my husband walks over and hugs me for no reason at all.
* That just after sex, completely satisfied and falling asleep happy feeling.
* Sunbathing on vacation - the feeling of my toes in the san…

Off my meds

I've been off my meds over a week now. It's a real shock to the system. I've been on this medication (an anti-inflammatory) for a couple of years now and although I knew it helped, I wasn't aware of just how much.
For the most part, I do okay during the day, but mornings and evening are difficult. My husband keeps asking me why I'm so quiet. Last night, I had to ask him to stop asking. I think he was afraid I was upset with him for something. I get quiet when I'm in pain. I don't like to complain and I'm also quietly trying to figure out how long I'll be able to do this for. I'm hoping I'll get used to it and cope better after a little time.
Today, I tripped over one of my son's toys and made things worse for myself. I jolt like that really makes inflammation worse and I'm really feeling it. When it first happened, it hurt so bad I thought I'd be sick. My three year old son kept saying to me: 'Breathe out' wh…

Can't Sleep

It's 5AM. I've been awake since 3:00. I'm still not feeling 100% and had a coughing fit that woke me up and haven't been able to get back to sleep since. There's nothing worse than trying to keep up with a 3 year old on so few hours sleep and I'm dreading the morning.
My husband told me tonight he'll be able to have some time off next month and we'll be able to take a trip home. Maybe that's what's got me up. This trip will be shorter than most which will be hard. I miss it and every time we go back, I wish we didn't have to leave.
During the last trip back, I got to see so many old friends. They arranged homecoming parties for me and we went out to a couple of bars to meet up with everyone. It was so nice to have so many people come out to see me. Some I hadn't seen in 20+ years. I missed my high school reunion which is how the gatherings ended up being planned. Facebook makes the world a lot smaller and the people that wanted t…

Flu

My son was sick last week and this week it's my turn. I'll be back soon. I'll be updating book talk as well with quite a few books as soon as I'm feeling better.

Parenting Mistake Number 2...

When Ethan was a baby, I always made is food from scratch. I cooked for him purees and mashed food from the time he was on solid food and then when he started with finger foods, I continued with my healthy meal plans. I never offered cookies or sweets, I gave him only wheat bread (no white) and fresh fruit and veg. He was such a good eater. I swore I'd never be a parent that made separate meals for my child. Then, he turned 2 and his food world turned upside-down. He started refusing more and more food. He became a child of plain pasta (with only butter, salt, pepper & Parmesan cheese), no sauces of any kind, no meat except for chicken, He likes fish but only if it's breaded and he alternates with being picky about his fruit or veg. He always eats it, but is has random refusals of things he used to like. He still only eats wheat bread, but won't drink milk so I have to give him 3 yogurts a day to make up for the lack of milk. For breakfast he'll eat toast, f…

Parenting Mistake Number 1...

Before I had Ethan, I was one of those childless people who said things like: 'When I have kids, I'll never let them into my bed', 'I'll never make two separate meals - if they don't like what I make then they won't eat' and 'I'd never put up with THAT sort of behavior (when a child had a meltdown in a supermarket)!' Yes, I was the childless person that parents probably wanted to smack if I said anything even close to those things in their presents.
I thought being a mom a bit later in life would be a good thing. I thought I could benefit from other parents mistakes and know exactly what not to do. The thing was that I wasn't a parent and had no idea about the unbelievable love you can have for your child. Now that I am a parent, I have had to go through all the trials and hardships that go with making my own mistakes all for the love of my child.
When Ethan was about a year and a half old, we went though a scare where doctors said…

Baby Talk

I'm not the sort of person that get's all warm and fuzzy around babies. I don't offer to hold them or feel all nostalgic for the days of tiny babies. What has done that to me lately has been watching my son play and enjoy himself. Recently, I actually cried while taking a ride on Thomas the Tank Engine with him and watched him bop along to the Thomas music they played. HE makes me want to have another baby. It's when he says 'Mommy, I love you SO much, says the word Ferrari (which is the cutest thing I've ever heard) or when he has a look of pride on his face when he does something he was afraid to do. It's when he climbs on me to cuddle close for a what he calls a 'face hug'(which is a hug with his cheek up against mine) or when I listen to him have a conversation with his Dad. It's all these things that make me want to have another baby and go through it all over again.
It started a couple of months ago when my husband and I were sitting on…

A Suprising Turn of Events

When the chips are down it's sometimes surprising what you can end up needing. You can end up needing people you thought you outgrew the need for. Recently, while in crisis mode, I found out that there are some people we never outgrow the need for (you just don't know it until faced with something that triggers it). I've been lucky enough to find comfort and support from someone completely unexpected and I am so grateful for it. Years pass and people come and go. Some leave their mark, some fade as if they were never there and some leave more than just their mark and they stay with you long after they've moved on from your life.
You would think approaching someone with a problem after not even hearing their voice in almost a decade, would be awkward, but it wasn't. They could have responded with 'This is unexpected, isn't there someone else you can go to with this?' or simply, 'Why me?' but it wasn't like that. The first response was &…

Family Matters

It's been a while. When I go through difficult times, I tend to go quiet until it passes. I don't blog about highly personal matters and it's hard to find the inspiration to write about the small stuff when other things seems so substantial.
We got back from my in-laws last night. It took a grueling 5.5 hours to get back. Without traffic, it takes 3.5 which is tough enough. Ethan was a doll sitting still in traffic for over an hour in an oven of a car. He's always good when it comes to that sort of thing.
The trip to my in-law's was different than most. I spent the weekend playing family counselor. It started with my sister-in-law (the same one who was talking about me the last time I saw them). I walked outside to have a cigarette and found her crying with her boyfriend. I went to leave and she said to stay. She told me she was upset because her brother (who she hasn't been on good terms with for 5 years now) refused to come to come because she was there…

Case Histories By Kate Atkinson

I have spent the last week falling in love with Jackson Brodie, the main character in Kate Atkinson's Case Histories series. I have read all four books by auido book walking around for days with Jason Isaacs sexy voice telling me the stories. Jason Isaacs also plays Jackson Brodie in the BBC series based on the books. I watched the first episode and quickly switched to the books (which I already owned in book form). I chose the auido books not because of Jason Isaacs, but because sometimes when the narrator of a book is Britsh, I have a difficult time finding their voice (for lack of a better word) while reading and I struggle with the story. I tried reading it in book form several times and then looked for the Audio version. I was pleasantly surprised to find out the star of the show would be telling me the stories. I did 4 books in five days and now that I have fallen for Mr Brodie, I look very forward to the next edition (I really hope there are plans for one).
Kate Atki…

What I wanted to tell you...

Here is what I want to tell you - I turned out OK. I am happily married - really happy.  Most people are not.  I know maybe two couples that are happily married, but most I know don't even like the person they wake up next to every day.  It's sad but true.  We are happy and we are in love.  It's been nearly ten years and I see no change in our behavior or our relationship than when we first started out.  He takes good care of me so you don't have to worry about that.
I am a mother. I am finally a mother and I am a good one at that.  This morning I heard him singing in his bed before he got up.  What a wonderful sound!  I went to his door and peeked in.  His head came up to look, I opened the door wider so he could see it was me and his face lit up as he smiled (that kid smiles with his whole face), he jumped up and ran to me with arms wide open.  I got to him just as he reached the edge of the bed and we started the day with the biggest hug ever.  If I ever have doub…

This is where I leave you by Jonathan Tropper

When Judd Foxman's father dies, he is faced with seven days under the same roof with his mother and three siblings to sit Shiva as a family when they are told it was their Father's last dying wish. After finding his wife in bed with his boss (a shock-jock radio DJ), Judd isn't in the best place emotionally to be mourning his father's death - never mind stuck under the same roof with his dysfunctional family. This is a laugh out-loud (albeit heartbreaking at the same time), heart-warming tale that keeps you surprised with each turn of events. The brilliantly crafted cast of characters will shock you, make you laugh, cringe and want to cry throughout.
I loved this book. It really did make me laugh out loud more times than any I've ever read before. The only thing I will say is that if you're the type to be offended by scenes of a graphic sexual nature (which I'm not) this book is not for you. It's a definite R-rated novel from the very beginning. A …

Motherhood Under Duress

Being a mother of a small child during a trying time is difficult, but being a mother of a small child that's sick during a trying time is even harder. I am not myself. I try to put on a happy face and make things normal for him. I've comforted him and tried to keep him entertained while confined to the house, but after 7 days, my patience and energy are wearing thin.
He's over the worst of it. It's been 2 days (rainy days) since he's had a fever and his energy levels are back up. Which is good for recovery, but not so easy for me. He's bored and demanding and I can't entertain him the way he needs me to. I'm distracted and moody and go back and forth over feeling guilty over it and wanting to run away.
Earlier, I gave him a hard time over something small and walked away in a huff. It's not his fault I'm exhausted and miserable. I went outside to have a cigarette and listened to him play on his own upstairs. I felt awful about it. I went…

This is where I leave you by Jonathan Tropper

I'm reading this right now and love it. I'm going through a rough time at the moment and wouldn't think I'd have the concentration to stick to a book (I'm not the sort to read when I have a lot on my mind), but this book is excellent. I have laughed out loud several times (despite some very serious subject manners) and pick it up every chance I get. Right now it's been a real saving grace. Thank you Jonathan Tropper!

Rough week

It's been a rough week - a stressful time that I can't and won't blog about. On top of that, my son has had a fever and cough for nearly a week. I have been confined to the house like I'm grounded for as long as he's been sick with no escape from my stress except for the smoking breaks I take every hour or so and a few hours out on Sunday to try to make father's day a less miserable experience for all of us.
I am losing weight by the day because I can't bring myself to eat more than a couple times a day. I have now reached my thinnest since Ethan was born, but am not really celebrating because it's the sort of weight loss that will creep back as soon as my appetite returns.
To add insult to injury, tonight my son smacked me in the face with such force that it still stings a half hour later. I had a slight impulse to smack him back, but restrained myself and walked away instead. We're not parents who hit and until today, Ethan was not a child w…

My latest fox photos

I watch the fox a lot lately. He has a calming influence on me. We have an unspoken deal - he lets me snap all the pics I want as long as I keep my distance. We watch each other. I don't think he's the same fox from the night with the cat. He seems small and harmless (although I know he's a hunter by nature). The fox that looked down on me from the fence was much larger (or at least seemed to be in the dark staring me down). I have come to like this fox. He and my cats stay out of each others way and as I said, he's become a calming influence which is welcomed right now. Here are today's best shots...

Smoking again

I've started smoking again after 6 years of quitting (not counting one brief relapse that only last a few weeks). The thing is I have smoked more of my adult life than I haven't and some things just send you straight back to it. As much as I don't want to be doing it, it's a coping mechanism that is hard to avoid. I've been through a lot since quitting and never went back. Maybe I've used up all my strength for a while and this is how I'm dealing with stress this time around. I'm hoping it's a short lived relapse.

I'm not a writer

I've been researching how to write a proper book review. Since I'm writing book reviews for a website, I thought maybe I should research how to write a real review instead of going on about how I liked the book (or didn't).   There's not a lot out there. I looked at the NY Times website because I use it to choose books and to see what's out there (although I read a balance of English & American books, I prefer American - only because it's just easier to relate to).  Looking at those reviews, I know one thing - I am not a writer (nor have I ever claimed to be). I wish there was another place to look instead of the highbrowed NY Times.  Like maybe People or OK Magazine.  Problem is, they don't do reviews.  I've looked at Amazon but they aren't professional.  I was looking for professionally written without the intellectual jargon. I cringe at my reviews and I don't like them being published with my name attached to them.  They are hardly revie…

The very last time

Last night I dreamed about someone I haven't laid eyes on in what must be 20 years now. Despite that fact - in my dream, he was aged as if we see each other all the time. He was different yet exactly the same. It's not that I haven't seen pictures of him in recent years. I know what he looks like, but you'd think in my dream, he would have been just as I remember him the last time we were together.
I remember the last time I saw him. I know exactly where we were. I remember his face - his narrowed lips and sad eyes that said I'm sorry and please change your mind both at the same time - just as he was about to walk away from me for the very last time.
Don't you wish you knew when it was going to be the very last time you'd be with someone - so you could memorize it and make it as momentous as it should be? I wish I could go back to my young self (not to change the outcome because that might mean I wouldn't have my family now) and say at that very momen…

A Moment of Clarity

I had a moment of clarity today. I've been really down this week. I couldn't figure out why. I mean my social life has finally turned around after 6 long years. I've been really busy socially for the last few weeks. It hasn't stopped. I had Ethan's party, 2 weekly play dates (which are a regular thing), I went to a party with a bunch of woman that had music, drinks and conversation about our lives, started my book club and even had another couple over for dinner. So what the hell is there to be down about? I mean this is what I wanted all this time right?
This morning it came to me - finding a normal life here makes me feel like I'm moving on from my life back home in America (where my heart truly lies). This revelation made me want to burst out in tears. I'm struggling not to cry right now. I miss my friends. I miss my old - friends the ones that really know me. I miss my best friend - the one that knows me better than anyone else in the world.
What …

Summer Reading Recommendations...

To me, a summer read should be something that's not hard work or difficult to get into - something you can sit on the beach and relax with. I've had a few requests for summer reading choices so here are my recommendations:

The Book of Joe by Johnathan Tropper
The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud by Ben Sherwood
The Help by Kathryn Stockett
Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen
For One More Day By Mitch Albom
Flipped by Wendelin Van Draanen

Chick Lit - Not my first choice in reading, but sometimes we need a bit of Romantic fluff :-)
The Girl Who Chased the Moon by Sarah Addison Allen
Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin (My first & favorite Chick lit book).
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Semi-happily Ever After?

I read an article in 'The Times' today that just annoyed the hell out of me. The title read - 'Modern Love - Are you living a semi-happily ever after?' The article mainly talked about a book called 'Marriage Confidential' of which the author explores modern marriage and it's lack of romance, fidelity and fulfillment. As bleak as that sounds, I can't comment too much because I haven't read her book. I may buy it though or maybe not because I hate when marriage is made out to be grim. That being said, I don't know many happily married couples.
On the same page of this article, there was another small piece that read, 'You know you're in a post-romantic marriage when...' This is the one that bothered me most:
You make small talk - Just like on your first date only different. The big things have already been addressed, your vows of undying love are over and have been swapped for gossip about kids, kitchen utensils and garbage collectio…

4:30AM

It's 4:30 in the morning. I slept from 12 - 3AM just fine, but woke up wide awake. I'm sitting here thinking of a topic to write about. The internet is a beautiful thing - there isn't much that's not right at your fingertips. So, I googled 'Blogging Ideas' and came up with this: What's different about you?
My first thought was - that's a loaded question! and then I really thought about it. What's different about me more than most other people I know? One answer - when it comes to people - I try to look at the whole picture rather than just make a quick judgement about them and their actions (unless my feelings are hurt and then I'm a bit of a nightmare). Anyway, I digress...
Case in point - I've had a bit more of a social life lately. A part of that is groups of moms being together. When alone with most of them, they usually have something negative to say about the other moms. Like - she's a bit quick tempered with her child isn&#…

Pooh's Bridge

I went to Winnie The Pooh’s Bridge today in Hartfield, England. My friend Angela & her husband took Ethan & I with their daughter (who’s the same age as Ethan & his best friend). The history behind it is this - The famous children’s author of the Winnie the Pooh stories, A.A. Milne, lived in a house in Hartfield, close to Ashdown Forest. When his son, Christopher was a child, they would visit the rickety old bridge in Ashdown Forest and played a game they called “Poohsticks”. The bridge became infamous in the tales of Christopher Robin and families now flock to the little bridge to play their own game of Poohsticks.
We played Poohstick (at least we tried but the stream wasn’t moving. The kids had a wonderful time all the same. A little bit past the bridge was a little tree with a door on it which was Piglet’s House, It was the most precious thing. The kids knocked on the door and rang the doorbell looking for piglet which was a joy to watch. The bridge was slightly unim…

Juliet Naked By Nick Hornby

Synopsis - Annie and Duncan are a mid-30s couple who have reached a fork in the road, realizing their shared interest in the reclusive musician Tucker Crowe (in Duncan's case, an obsession as well as an academic career) is not enough to hold them together any more.
When Annie hates Tucker's 'new release', a terrible demo of his most famous album, it's the last straw - Duncan cheats on her and she promptly chucks him.
Via an Internet discussion forum, Annie's harsh opinion reaches Tucker himself, who couldn't agree more. He and Annie start an unlikely correspondence that teaches them both something about moving on from years of wasted time.

I just started this via Audiobook (I listen while working or exercising). I'm actually reading another Nick Hornby book in book form as well - Long Way Down and am really enjoying them both. He's a brilliant author and I'm quickly becoming a fan.
Click the book to check it out on Amazon.com or

If you can't laugh at yourself...

During my first resistance band workout today, I snapped myself in the ass with the band when it slipped off my foot. I now have a big red mark on my upper thigh and ass. I can say for certain that graceful is not a word you would have used if you could have seen me this morning! LOL
I started with my trainer last week. I've had 3 sessions so far and have been really enjoying it. Last night, Ethan came down with a nasty ear infection so I kept him home from nursery school and couldn't go to the gym. Determined to keep up my workouts, I took out my resistance band DVD (bought and never opened about 6 months ago), put Ethan on the couch with Disney Cars and went to jump into the workout. I did ok, but admit I called my trainer in the middle of the workout twice to ask questions.
30 minutes in, Ethan came in, grabbed a resistance band and tried to join in. I can't say it was productive from there on, but at least I tried. I will try again later...
Oh, by the way - I join…

Taken Up Residence

This morning I came down to find this in my yard. The fox sleeping all snug and comfy on my lawn. I went to let my cats out, saw the fox and quickly shut the door. It's taken up residence in my yard! I went and got my camera and took these photos from the window.


It saw me and stayed put. We made eye contact and it was completely unaffected by my presents. If anything it seemed bored by me and just sprawled out and went back to sleep.

Shortly there after, my cat Luka, jumped out the window, puffed himself up and went for the fox. The fox jumped up and ran with Luka chasing after it. I haven't seen either of them since and I'm trying to remain calm and hope that the fact that the fox ran away is a good sign that Luka is OK and just standing guard somewhere.

Book Blog

To all of my book blog friends - I'm sorry for the gap in book talk, but with planning my son's birthday party and having house guests for the last week, I haven't touched a book in a little while. I'll get back to it this week. Thank you all for the lovely comments and warm welcome! :-)

Our Murdous Neighborbood Fox

As you may have read in the my earlier post (Luka's Misadventure),we have a murderous fox in the neighborhood. He's lurks about day and night. So far he's killed the pet rabbit next door, a cat the night Luka (one of my cats) went missing and two seagulls 2 nights running. Tonight, I caught Luka chasing the fox. The photo is of the fox looking down at him after being chased onto the fence while I was yelling out the window for the cat to get the hell in the house. I only took the picture because Wayne was on his way out of the house to get Luka in.
The creepy thing about the fox is that he's not afraid of people. He was in the yard next door the other day looking for food and when he saw me, he glanced at me and kept roaming around the yard and the day of Ethan's party, he sat on our fence and watched us for a few minutes before we chased him away. I'm not quite sure what to do about it. I've tried keeping my cats in, but they cry all day and stalk …

The party was a big success

Ethan's Birthday was a big success. He was so excited from the minute he woke up (and was still talking about it when I put him to bed). I went into his room when he woke up wearing a party hat - which he loved and requested his immediately (only his had to be pink because my little man - who is very secure with his boyhood LOVES pink). He opened a few presents before our guests started to arrive. At the party he had the time of his life! He had all of his favorite friends here. We had a bouncy castle, all kinds of party games and a house full of people. The party which was supposed to be from 11AM - 1:00, lasted until after 4:00 (but probably would have gone longer if the kids weren't so tired).
We had a really great crowd. This was my first birthday party living in England where I actually had friends there instead of people I associated with for the sake of the kids (but never actually formed any relationships with) or was forced to have at my in-laws because I didn't h…

My Little Man's 3 on Sunday

I can't believe it, but my little man turns 3 on Sunday. This is the first year that he's aware of having party and he's been talking about it for months! He's requested a Lightening McQueen themed party. He asked for balloons, a Lightening cake, a bouncy castle - the works and of course Mommy has been planning it for months!
At first I thought I didn't know enough people to have a party. Boy, did I cry the first time he asked for a birthday party. I thought I'd have to pay people to show up, but in the last few months my social life has taken a turn and on Sunday (including my in-laws who arrived on Thurs) I will have 15 - 20 adults and 10 children in my house. I am keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn't rain because I don't know where I'll put them all (English houses are NOT large).
Needless to say, Ethan is thrilled and can't wait! I am off to start wrapping his gifts. I haven't stopped preparing for days and I am exhausted, bu…

What I don't write about...

It may seem odd to some that I almost never write about my husband and our relationship. There are no heart-felt entries going on about him and how much I love him. The thing is, my husband requested I don't write about him a long time ago. He's of the mindset that our relationship is between us not the rest of the world. I respect that and therefore, don't write about our relationship.
What I will say is that I am madly in love with my husband. We are very close. We are a team. We are complete opposites, but never fight(even when I sometimes yell). In our years together we have had maybe 3 serious arguments. He's the love of my life and the best dad I know. He knows me through and through which is why he's not bothered by the entries that involve any past relationships or love affairs (the ex files)because he doesn't expect me to forget what made me who I am today. What matters most is the here and now. We tell each other all the time how lucky we are to…