New Greenday Video

I just saw the new Greenday video for the second time and for the second time I was struck by how much it made me feel. It made me remember what it's like to be young and make promises you can't possibly keep, how it felt to have someone you love leave you behind and how it terrifying it was when a war broke out when that person was in the military. It also made my heart break for the boys fighting and dying at war right now. I don't think that young people will fully understand that the video is depicting what happens everyday. It may not always be a girlfriend or boyfriend waiting in desperation, but a parent or sibling, husband or wife, son or daughter or any other loved one. My heart goes out to anyone living through it. I was lucky I didn't have to actually live it, but I know there are so many waiting in despair for their loved one to come home safe. I can only hope, beyond hope that this war will soon end and those fighting can finally return safe to the people who love them.

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Fight Club for Five Year Olds - Part 2

The other mother and I went into the school to meet with the teacher and the assistant head. We both let them know how upset we were that we were not informed that our children were sent to the office and how much we were against the children being allowed to play fighting games on the playground. I told them I wouldn't allow it at home and I'm really unhappy that it's being allowed at school. They admitted it was a problem and explained that they are planning to introduce a a scheme to teach the children to play in a safe way. They will be calling it 'Super Hero Training'. They plan to give out capes & masks out to children who behave well as rewards at playtime. They will have assemblies where they will teach the children to play fighting games without making contact. I find this to be absurd. The problem has gone on to long and I doubt they will be able to teach little children to change their games when they have sixty other children to look after o…

Feeling the rain

After I worked out today, I went into the kitchen for a bottle of water and saw the pouring rain out my patio door. There are few times I can think of wanting to feel the rain more. Without a thought, I went out and stood in the rain. English rain is cold, but today it felt incredible. I live in a very public place, but in that kind of weather there was wasn't a soul in sight. I thought about twirling, but the grown up in me squashed the notion. What I did do though was close my eyes and raise my chin toward the sky to let the rain fall on my face. In my mind I slowed it all down and took it in. I swear in those few moments I felt every drop. I've always loved the rain. I love the sound of it and like to open the windows and listen to it while drifting off to sleep on stormy nights. Even as a child I would love to go out and play in. When I got older, I found it sensual and and dreamed of romantic moments that would play out under dark clouds, surrounded by grey tone…

Scary stuff

A few weeks ago, I found a lump in my breast. I was in the shower. I thought I felt something, but my first reaction was to not let my mind go there so I quickly moved on. A few minutes later, I checked again and confirmed it was indeed a lump. I finished my shower (and my day) trying not to think too much about it. That night I asked my husband to see what he thought. We went to the doctor the very next morning.
In short, the doctor referred me to a specialist and told me I'd get an appointment in the mail. About a week later, I saw the specialist who referred me for more tests. I had a mammogram on Monday and today I have an ultrasound. Scary stuff right?
Because we never know when the appointments are going to be, my husband can't plan for it and arrange to be with me. I've had to see the specialist and have the tests on my own. This is one of the worst things about living in a foreign country - when my husband can't be there, I am left with no-one else …

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