One week from today, we have our appointment for my visa. I can hardly breathe I'm so nervous and today, I wish I still smoked!
I haven't been on here in so long. I guess I haven't been in the mood to be in touch with my emotions. I think I'm just trying to keep myself in check so I don't lose it.
We had Wayne's sister and her family here for the weekend. Phew, that was a lot of work! Four adults and two children in one very small English house (with a surprising amount of bathrooms - 3 in all which was handy). It was a lot of cooking and an awful lot of dish washing too!
My new little niece is 5 next week and for some reason, she just adores me. I spent the whole time with this beautiful little girl attached to my hip! I got a little bit of insight on motherhood because I didn't get even a moment to myself. I cooked - she helped (well she thought she was helping anyway), I cleaned - she helped, I sat down to breathe - she wouldn't have it! I was forced to draw pictures for hours on end and wasn't even permitted to use the bathroom by myself (this was very unsettling for me, but I survived)!
Everywhere we went, she had to hold MY hand and I was touched every time she came and hugged me for no reason at all telling me she loved me. I even went on the kiddie rides at the fair! And when she held both my hand and Wayne's as we walked along the sea front, I took a long hard look at how it might be if it was our child between us. I'm thinking that motherhood can wait a bit longer because although she is just adorable and so very sweet - when she left - it was really nice to be able to relax again.
I took some pictures of the sightseeing tour we took them on and if there's time before we leave Saturday for our trip to the States, I'll post them. It was nice showing them around the city where we live because I sometimes forget how spectacular it really is.
I quit smoking when I moved to the UK, mainly because I promised my husband I would. I did it for him, but not because I wanted to. I enjoyed smoking. I missed it, but quit successfully for many years until I went through a stressful time and started again. My relapse lasted over a year. The whole time, I was ashamed of myself. I hated the smell. I hated how I felt, I hated the health risks and I hated my lack of willpower. I've known a few people who have tried e-cigarettes. I was a skeptic. I thought it was going from one habit to another. The people I knew that tried it, always had it and were constantly sucking on it. It seemed to me they were more addicted to it then they were cigarettes. I don't know any smokers that constantly had a cigarette in their hand. Then in January, I saw a piece about it on the BBC News. I watched with interest thinking they were going to say that they have found it to be harmful. What they said was quite the o