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If you don't like spiders - don't move to England!

YellowPagesWalkingFingersMed.jpg


This morning, the mailman came to the door to deliver a package and as I closed the door, I noticed a very large spider was walking through the entry way. I hate spiders and the spiders in this country are a lot bigger than I'm used to!! I instantly screamed and my first thought was to throw the package onto it and run! I hesitated a bit too long and it got away under the door of the bathroom. I panicked and called Wayne at work having a complete meltdown. Wayne just laughed and said he'd look for it when he got home. I asked him - 'If I suck it up with the carpet sweeper - will it die? He said, 'probably' I then asked, 'If it doesn't die, will it be able to get out?' he said, 'probably' I asked 'will it bite the cats?? Can it poison them?? Are there poisonous spiders here??' He laughed again and said, 'don't be silly' I realized he wasn't helping and decided I would have to hunt for it because I would never breath easy not knowing where it went!
I knew I wouldn't relax until I found it. I thought 'shoes, put on some shoes so you can step on it if you see it!' so I ran for some shoes, put them on and started my search again. Then I thought, 'You need a weapon! find a magazine to hit it with just in case you lose your nerve trying to step on it' I found a magazine I didn't care to keep, rolled it up and quickly realized it wasn't thick enough and thought 'the phone book! That will do!' and ran for the phone book.
Armed with my shoes on (which look great with my pajamas) and the yellow pages, I began my hunt. I peaked my head around into the bathroom (as if it would jump out at me if it saw me coming) and when I didn't see it, went in. Intrigued, the cats followed me and I yelled at them to get back. With my heart pounding, I moved everything around that could be moved jumping back each time, but never found it. It somehow got away (probably when I was running around for my shoes and the phone-book!). Horrified, I looked around the house, but it was nowhere to be found.
I'm now completely freaked out and I don't know when I will sleep again with the knowledge that it's somewhere in my house! As I sit here and type, I still have my shoes on with my pajamas and the yellow-pages are in arms reach!

Comments

Mike said…
Did you find it????
Erren (Erren@Pond-Hopper.com) said…
No. I'll never sleep again and I still have my shoes on. =)
Ms. M said…
Living in Seattle you get use to spiders. They love coming indoors to get warm. Our cat likes to keep them as pets! She won't kill them but loves playing with the little critters. Eeewwww. Good luck!!!! BTW love your blog - its very clever.
Here's the perfect song for you. Its by the Who - Boris the Spider.
Look, he's crawling up my wall
Black and hairy, very small
Now he's up above my head
Hanging by a little thread
Boris the spider
Boris the spider
Now he's dropped on to the floor
Heading for the bedroom door
Maybe he's as scared as me
Where's he gone now, I can't see
Boris the spider
Boris the spider
Creepy, crawly
Creepy, crawly
There he is wrapped in a ball
Doesn't seem to move at all
Perhaps he's dead, I'll just make sure
Pick this book up off the floor
Boris the spider
Boris the spider
Creepy, crawly
Creepy, crawly
He's come to a sticky end
Don't think he will ever mend
Never more will he crawl 'round
He's embedded in the ground
Boris the spider
Boris the spider
Erren (Erren@pond-hopper.com) said…
Ms. M,
Thanks for the creepy song - while I was reading it, the cat walked by and after seeing something move in the corner of my eye - I hit the ceiling!

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