Skip to main content

Lines in the sand

I recently used the expression 'Draw a line in the sand' and when I said it, I had a vivid memory of my first love drawing for me in the sand, while we were walking on the beach one night.


It's so strange how some memories can be so strong that they feel like you can almost step right into them and re-live that moment. I can still see the look on his face as he drew the big heart in the sand. We stayed on the beach for a long time that night. I had never seen the beach at night before (not that I can remember anyway) and I was struck by how the moon lit the beach and it's never left me. I wonder if I was by myself that night - if the memory would mean as much or be so vivid. How many memories do we hold on to that take place while we're alone? I'd imagine, not too many.
I wonder why it is that we remember some things, but not others. Why is it that some people stay with us no matter how long it's been, even though they were in our life for such a small fraction of time? Some days I can't remember what I had for dinner the night before, and yet - that night on the beach took place nearly 20 years ago and the memory is still as strong as ever.
My husband has very few memories he holds onto. It's something we've discussed in great length. He can't remember much at all about his childhood or his first girlfriends or details about the love of his life before me, even though they were still sharing a home not 4 years ago. But he remembers of our first kiss and the moment he told me he loved me for the first time just as much as I do and in great detail. So why is it he wipes out so much about his past, but holds onto the things that are about me? I know I'm not the only thing in his life that has mattered, and yet I seem to be the only thing he cares to remember in any meaningful way.
He's not the only one that has a selective memory though. It's really strange. There are things I can't remember at all about my ex-husband and we spent nearly 10 years together. When I close my eyes, I can barely remember his face. Yet, there are some people that I can see in my mind's eye, as if they were here yesterday; when I haven't seen them in years on end. So why is it that if we have selective memories - I can still remember things I wish I could forget (the really bad stuff that I'd erase in a second)? I suppose there are just some things that we can't explain or ever truly understand.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Kicked the habit with an e-cigarette

    I quit smoking when I moved to the UK, mainly because I promised my husband I would.  I did it for him, but not because I wanted to.  I enjoyed smoking.  I missed it, but quit successfully for many years until I went through a stressful time and started again.  My relapse lasted over a year.  The whole time, I was ashamed of myself.  I hated the smell.  I hated how I felt, I hated the health risks and I hated my lack of willpower.      I've known a few people who have tried e-cigarettes.  I was a skeptic.  I thought it was going from one habit to another.  The people I knew that tried it, always had it and were constantly sucking on it.  It seemed to me they were more addicted to it then they were cigarettes.  I don't know any smokers that constantly had a cigarette in their hand.      Then in January, I saw a piece about it on the BBC News.  I watched with interest thinking they were going to say that they have found it to be harmful.  What they said was quite the o

Fight Club for Five Year Olds - Part 2

The other mother and I went into the school to meet with the teacher and the assistant head.  We both let them know how upset we were that we were not informed that our children were sent to the office and how much we were against the children being allowed to play fighting games on the playground.  I told them I wouldn't allow it at home and I'm really unhappy that it's being allowed at school.  They admitted it was a problem and explained that they are planning to introduce a a scheme to teach the children to play in a safe way.  They will be calling it 'Super Hero Training'.  They plan to give out capes & masks out to children who behave well as rewards at playtime.  They will have assemblies where they will teach the children to play fighting games without making contact.  I find this to be absurd.  The problem has gone on to long and I doubt they will be able to teach little children to change their games when they have sixty other children to look after on

Attitude adjustment...

It's been a while since I blogged regularly. I guess I've been going by the rule - if you don't have anything nice to say - don't say anything at all. I hate 'woe is me' type entries and for the last month or so, I've been really down and haven't had anything good to say. I think it started with the news that Aniela (my fellow expat girlfriend) was moving back to the US and was exacerbated by the incident with Wayne's cousin and the flare up of my condition (along with a general feeling of homesickness & loneliness). I was really depressed for quite a few weeks there and haven't been doing much more than going to the gym and other random things to keep me busy during the day. I haven't even worked on my web classes (in any serious way) in weeks (probably because I can't concentrate when I'm in pain - never mind get very motivated). I'm not so down anymore. Maybe it's the sunshine. Maybe it's the fact that I'