A blast from the past...

Saturday, August 26, 2006
I got the most bazaar email today from my ex-husband confessing his undying love for me. We had a strange relationship. We were together for nearly 10 years. When we met, I was in love with someone else (someone who was no longer an active participant in my life, but I still loved all the same) and was very honest about that fact. When we moved in together that fact still hadn't changed and when we married years later, I was still in love with someone else. He knew it, I knew it and yet we got married anyway. I think we both thought it was just a part of who I was. It was just one of those things - my favorite color was purple, I loved photography, was a really good cook and I just happened to be in love with someone else.
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I didn't love my ex-husband. I did, but we were really more like great friends than anything else, so I forgave him when he cheated and he forgave me for loving someone else for as long as we were together. We were never the kind of couple who appeared to be hopelessly in love, but we were good together and I think I told myself that romance wasn't everything and that all that mattered was that we were such great friends and he'd make a really good father. After nearly a decade together, I left him. I decided that maybe romance did matter and realized when I did have a family, I wanted it to be with the love of my life not my friend.
Six years on, and I've been through so much since leaving him that I never really looked back at him or the years we spent together. I'm now married to a man I'm hopelessly in love with and for the first time in all of my adult life, although I'll probably always love the man I spent all those years in love with - I'm only 'in love' with Wayne and my life is finally as it should be.
So, when I got the email from my ex today, I was shocked to find he claimed to still love me and that he wasn't happy because he constantly finds himself comparing every woman he meets to me. I find this bizarre because he never seemed to ever really be in love with me. Before we were married, he actually admitted he wasn't, but now he claims to be and I can't wrap my head around it. I'm kind of in shock and I don't know how to respond to him. I don't know if I even should. I feel like I never really knew him and I spent more than half my adult life with him. I thought by now, he would have realized that we should never have been together never mind for as long as we were.

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