I had an argument with my brother yesterday. I called to say hi and ended up getting an angry lecture on how much I've disappointed the family by moving to England. He said I 'fucked' the family by leaving. The only thing he repressed was how wrong I was for marrying a British man apposed to someone American (which he alluded to). He ended up hanging up on me. It was an unprovoked attack brought on by my saying no to his suggestion of going back to visit without my husband (anyone who knows me knows that a visit without Wayne would be like throwing myself to the wolves without any protection).
I've been quietly sick to my stomach since he hung up. I have so much I can say about it and how horribly disappointed I am by my family since I left and how let down I've always been by them. I know they all share in his sentiment - he's just the only one who has said it out loud (although my mother has come close). The thing is that he acts as if they have always been one of those families that rallies around you in your time of need and by leaving, I have somehow betrayed all they have done for me. This couldn't have been farther from the truth. They have never been there for me. I have always been left on my own in the hard times and it has always been my friends that have rallied around me to help in any way they could. I have had sisters in my friends Nicole & Anne and a brother in my friend Kenny. It has been them that have seen me through and acted as my family. It's been them that have supported me through this move that took more strength than I thought I had and it's now Wayne that has picked up where they left off. I resent the heartache that my family has given since I left (not to mention throughout my life) and it leaves me to wonder why it is I so badly want to go back.
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My in-laws just left after a five day visit. I don't mind it being a five day visit, but then again, five days of your house not being your own is always a bit unsettling and although I don't look forward to their departure when they are here, I can't say I'm sad to have things go back to normal. As a treat for my son's birthday, we took him to the Museum of Natural History in London on Thursday. He chose to go because we took him last year (he's been crazy about dinosaurs since he was three years old). They give out adventure packs at the museum which consist of a back pack, safari hat, and binoculars with an adventure to follow during their visit. The back pack has clues in it to solve a mystery. Last year it had a dinosaur claw, a tooth and a sample of dinosaur skin he had to match up to one on display. He had a great time solving the mystery and even remembered which dinosaur it ended up being. Last year's trip was wonderful. We walked right in,
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For someone with such an awful nickname, you sure know how to make a girl feel better :-)
Thanks Sweetheart - it means a lot.
Aniela,
Hello my friend... I'll call you later this week. I'm all over the place lately and need to concentrate on my classes while Wayne's at work.
Talk to you soon - Love to Rubes and H