Skip to main content

On turning 35

One week from today, I turn 35. I hate these milestone birthdays (although I was quite happy thinking 35 wasn't a milestone, but people keep referring to it as one so...). Next week, I'll be officially be closer to 40 than 30.
In my mind, I don't feel 35. I still feel 20-something. I must admit though that lately, I look in the mirror and I look 35. I'm over weight (just gained those dreaded 12 lbs back I struggled to lose) so I'm looking puffy, my skin looks somehow duller and I should also confess I recently started using anti-aging products and I've been pulling out random gray hairs for over a year now.
My body has started changing too. I never had weight issues before in my life, but now I have to work really hard to lose the smallest amount of weight. I've spent the last several years dieting, working out and never actually reaching my goal weight.
Teenagers refer to me as mam and I suddenly feel too old to be shopping in trendy stores, but too young to be shopping in stores geared towards woman my age.
I can't believe I'm old enough to say that I've been friends with my best friend for over 20 years and we weren't children when our friendship started or that I'm old enough to be sexually active for more than half my life! Although, I must admit that both have some of the better aspects of being older (I can't imagine life without either one).
The one thing that's the most difficult about turning 35 is that I still haven't had a child. How is it that I'm all of a sudden high risk and child bearing years are passing me by? I hear my clock ticking louder every day... I hate milestone birthdays.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fight Club for Five Year Olds - Part 2

The other mother and I went into the school to meet with the teacher and the assistant head.  We both let them know how upset we were that we were not informed that our children were sent to the office and how much we were against the children being allowed to play fighting games on the playground.  I told them I wouldn't allow it at home and I'm really unhappy that it's being allowed at school.  They admitted it was a problem and explained that they are planning to introduce a a scheme to teach the children to play in a safe way.  They will be calling it 'Super Hero Training'.  They plan to give out capes & masks out to children who behave well as rewards at playtime.  They will have assemblies where they will teach the children to play fighting games without making contact.  I find this to be absurd.  The problem has gone on to long and I doubt they will be able to teach little children to change their games when they have sixty other children to look after o…
8 comments
Read more

Feeling the rain

After I worked out today, I went into the kitchen for a bottle of water and saw the pouring rain out my patio door.  There are few times I can think of wanting to feel the rain more. Without a thought, I went out and stood in the rain.  English rain is cold, but today it felt incredible.  I live in a very public place, but in that kind of weather there was wasn't a soul in sight.  I thought about twirling, but the grown up in me squashed the notion. What I did do though was close my eyes and raise my chin toward the sky to let the rain fall on my face.  In my mind I slowed it all down and took it in.  I swear in those few moments I felt every drop. I've always loved the rain.  I  love the sound of it and like to open the windows and listen to it while drifting off to sleep on stormy nights.  Even as a child I would love to go out and play in. When I got older, I found it sensual and and dreamed of romantic moments that would play out under dark clouds, surrounded by grey tone…
4 comments
Read more

Scary stuff

A few weeks ago, I found a lump in my breast.  I was in the shower.  I thought I felt something, but my first reaction was to not let my mind go there so I quickly moved on.  A few minutes later, I checked again and confirmed it was indeed a lump.  I finished my shower (and my day) trying not to think too much about it.  That night I asked my husband to see what he thought.  We went to the doctor the very next morning.
In short, the doctor referred me to a specialist and told me I'd get an appointment in the mail.  About a week later, I saw the specialist who referred me for more tests.  I had a mammogram on Monday and today I have an ultrasound.  Scary stuff right?
Because we never know when the appointments are going to be, my husband can't plan for it and arrange to be with me.  I've had to see the specialist and have the tests on my own.  This is one of the worst things about living in a foreign country - when my husband can't be there, I am left with no-one else …
3 comments
Read more