I just cried watching the TV show, Bones this morning. This can only mean one thing - it's that time again. That time of the month that I get emotional and girlie for no apparent reason. That time I can't seem to control for the life of me. That time that I even want to smack me! I didn't always suffer from this absurd affliction. It was something I prided myself on - No moods driven by hormones here (so I thought). It just started in the last few years and I wish there was one rational explanation for it or at least a fucken pill I could take to make me rational at the very least!
Last month I cried uncontrollably to my husband about my weight. A couple of years back, I was on some medication that made me gain some weight. I've been trying desperately to get back to my normal weight for a couple of years now and last month in utter frustration and apparently crazy with a hormonal imbalance - I cried (okay, sobbed was more like it) for a half hour straight saying things like - What if I'm never pretty again?? and - I'm fat and horrible! My dear husband hugged me and said, 'Your coming on aren't you?' I wanted to get offended and say - how can you be so insensitive?? But I thought about it for a second and thought 'Damn it, he's right!!' It was temporary hormonal insanity. The world wasn't going to end because I was over weight after all... Like I said it's that time that even I wasn't to smack myself - God bless the men all over the world that have to deal with such ridicules behavior!
It's been a while since I blogged regularly. I guess I've been going by the rule - if you don't have anything nice to say - don't say anything at all. I hate 'woe is me' type entries and for the last month or so, I've been really down and haven't had anything good to say. I think it started with the news that Aniela (my fellow expat girlfriend) was moving back to the US and was exacerbated by the incident with Wayne's cousin and the flare up of my condition (along with a general feeling of homesickness & loneliness). I was really depressed for quite a few weeks there and haven't been doing much more than going to the gym and other random things to keep me busy during the day. I haven't even worked on my web classes (in any serious way) in weeks (probably because I can't concentrate when I'm in pain - never mind get very motivated). I'm not so down anymore. Maybe it's the sunshine. Maybe it's the fact that I'...
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