Skip to main content

Couldn't sleep

I went to bed over an hour ago, but I couldn't sleep so here I am.  It's not really that late, but here in the silent darkness, it feels much later.  I used to have a sleeping disorder.  I didn't sleep for more than a few hours a night for over 10 years and then I met Wayne and he must haven given me the peace I needed because I rarely have problems sleeping any more.
Sitting here with only the glow of the computer screen as light, reminds me of the days I didn't sleep.  Alone with my thoughts in the wee hours of the night, I'd write like this - only then they were letters I'd never send - letters to someone who I felt comfortable telling all my secrets to.  Letters that get written in the middle of the night probably shouldn't get sent.  It's the things that come to you at that hour that are so truthful, they probably should be left until daybreak so you can re-evaluate saying them at all. 
I must confess every once in a while, I'd click send instead of delete and the words I probably would never say in the light of day  would be sent off to be deleted by someone else's click of a mouse.  The things that come to you when you feel like the only person awake in the world - there's a sense of rawness to it as well a clarity. 
I don't write those letters any more.  I guess this blog is my replacement, but I have to admit it's less soulful in the light of day.  Maybe more should be said by the glow of a computer screen sitting alone in the dark.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Our Disaster of a Day!

My in-laws just left after a five day visit.  I don't mind it being a five day visit, but then again, five days of your house not being your own is always a bit unsettling and although I don't look forward to their departure when they are here, I can't say I'm sad to have things go back to normal. As a treat for my son's birthday, we took him to the Museum of Natural History in London on Thursday.  He chose to go because we took him last year (he's been crazy about dinosaurs since he was three years old).  They give out adventure packs at the museum which consist of a back pack, safari hat, and binoculars with an adventure to follow during their visit.  The back pack has clues in it to solve a mystery.  Last year it had a dinosaur claw, a tooth and a sample of dinosaur skin he had to match up to one on display.  He had a great time solving the mystery and even remembered which dinosaur it ended up being. Last year's trip was wonderful.  We walked right in,

Playing with my new lens...

I got a new camera lens for my birthday last week.  I don't have a lot of time to play with it, but this is one of the first shots I took...

Beside myself

I had to spend my morning trying not to watch the news knowing because of the time difference, it would be many hours before I could call my loved ones back home (in NJ & NY).  To help pass the time, I took my son to the movies and started making calls on the walk home.  I spoke to my parents, sister and a few friends getting confirmation of my family's safety and most of my friends.  I still can't reach my best friend who lives in Staten Island, NY.  I've been trying to call her once and hour every hour for the last five hours, but still haven't reached her.  Every hour that goes by makes me more and more anxious and I am beside myself with worry.  I spoke to her yesterday.  She was supposed to be evacuated, but chose to stay.  I tried to talk her into going, but couldn't change her mind.  I made her promise she'd call first thing in the morning, but it didn't happen.  Large portions of Staten Island have been devastated by the hurricane and I can't