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Here we go again...

When I heard about the shootings yesterday, my first thought was how horrible it was for the victims and their loved ones.  As it unfolded and the numbers grew, I must admit I started having more and more feelings of dread over the media coverage and the debate that would follow.  I knew it would turn into a frenzy of American bashing.  I knew it would turn into an excuse to pick on the American way of life and I couldn't help but think - here we go again.
This morning, while eating my breakfast, I chose to stay away from American news channels - afraid to hear the things I knew would fuel the opinions of the British public.  I wanted to stay away from hearing the Americans that choose to take this opportunity to fight for the right to bare arms.  I chose BBC News 24 and sat there content with watching stories unrelated to the tragic massacre that took place yesterday.  Wayne came down for breakfast, picked up the remote and changed it over to the talk radio station he was listening to upstairs.  The bashing had begun.
They had an American guest on who was of course defending our right to carry a gun.  He spoke of the constitution and freedom (as I listened I cringed and my blood pressure rose).  I sat there and listened to random people call in to talk about the stupidity of Americans and one person say how perverse our way of life is.  I listened as American expats called in to make their opinions known (none for the gun culture in the US) and all the while I thought - I just don't want to hear it - none of this is going to change a thing!
I've turned it off now that Wayne left for work.  I just don't have the heart for it.  The last thing I heard was something about why 'Americans' continue to let things like this happen.  As if we have any control over it.  As a victim of a gun crime myself, I'm not for the gun culture in the US, but the problem is too big.  If you take the licensed guns away, how will people defend themselves against all of the illegal guns that are on the street?  Until, they tackle that problem - how can you take away the right to defend yourself?  Wayne says you have to start somewhere - stop selling the guns - stop making the guns - stop handing licenses out.  I agree with all of that and that something as to be done, but where do you start? 
I'm so fed up with being here for such events.  I'm so fed up with things happening that puts a shameful spin on my nationality.  I'm so fed up with feeling like the outsider all of the time and feeling so lonely the minute Wayne walks out the door in the morning.  I really want to go home.

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