A revelation...

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

On my daily walk this morning, I saw a very pregnant woman shopping on the harbor.  It hit me just then, that if all goes according to plan - this time next year, I could be looking very similar to her!  What a revelation!  It's terrifying and exciting all at the same time.  The thing about becoming a parent later in life is is that you have a lot more time to consider things young girls don't like - I wonder how much your body really changes... Is sex as good for him after?... Is sex as good for HER after?? How bad does it really hurt?  Will I love my husband the same way after the baby is born?  I mean, I know I'll love him as much, but I like to dote on him and I worry, he'll get less attention and he won't be as happy.
Then there's the questions I'm sure we all ask like - What kind of mother will I be?  Do I really have the energy?  How do you handle the pressure of knowing if you aren't careful - you can really fuck a kid up for life.  etc. etc....
A friend gave me some advise on pregnancy recently.  She said - moisturise! She said everyone told her to and she knew she should have, but couldn't be bothered and now - stretch marks that will never go away.  So, I've started moisturising my stomach when I get out of the shower instead of just my legs and arms to get into the habit ahead of time.  Her advise made me wonder is there other practical advise that people forget to tell you about?  Are there things we might not have considered?  Are you reading this now thinking - I wish someone would have told me... If so, please share!
We plan to start trying this summer.  Thinking about it now makes my head spin with a million different thoughts.  I'd like to try now just to make sure we don't run into problems getting pregnant, but I promised Wayne a few more months to get used to the idea.  He'd probably wait years, but he had the dumb luck of marrying an older woman and the clock is ticking.  A part of me would like to wait as well, but I'm too afraid of childbearing years passing me by.  I wish there was a test you could take to make sure problems won't arise just to put my mind at ease.  Wouldn't that be nice?  I guess a few more months won't make much of a difference.



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