Skip to main content

It finally hit me

It finally happened last night - I finally had the retaliation of that fact that I'm going to have a baby.  I've been through so much from the start of this pregnancy that I think I just wouldn't allow myself to feel too much - probably as a way to stay strong through it all.  I haven't been able to really get in touch with my emotions and I've been wondering if it would ever happen.  Last night it happened and boy did it happen.  Out of nowhere while watching TV, I started to cry.  I went over to my husband, sat on his lap and just started blabbering through my tears saying things like - We're going to have a baby! and I've waited my whole life for this!  My goodness did the tears flow!  It was 4 months worth of emotion coming out all at once.  Maybe it was hearing the heart beat again or getting a glimpse of the baby during the ultrasound or finding out that everything really was okay (again).  I don't know what triggered it, but it finally came and I'm so glad it did.
We went back for the ultrasound yesterday, but the technician was not a very nice woman and didn't really let me see the baby (never mind find out the sex).  She rolled passed quickly and went straight to the area I was there to get scanned.  I asked while I was there if I could get a peek, but she said no she didn't have time.  She said, 'I showed you it was moving and the heartbeat was there - the kid is fine'.  I really didn't see any of what she said - it just happened too fast and I was really disappointed.  It wasn't very womanly of her to deny me a good look, but at least I know 'the kid is fine!'
Anyway, I'm feeling a lot better today.  Hopefully, that will be the last my health problems and things will go a bit more smoothly from now on.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fight Club for Five Year Olds - Part 2

The other mother and I went into the school to meet with the teacher and the assistant head.  We both let them know how upset we were that we were not informed that our children were sent to the office and how much we were against the children being allowed to play fighting games on the playground.  I told them I wouldn't allow it at home and I'm really unhappy that it's being allowed at school.  They admitted it was a problem and explained that they are planning to introduce a a scheme to teach the children to play in a safe way.  They will be calling it 'Super Hero Training'.  They plan to give out capes & masks out to children who behave well as rewards at playtime.  They will have assemblies where they will teach the children to play fighting games without making contact.  I find this to be absurd.  The problem has gone on to long and I doubt they will be able to teach little children to change their games when they have sixty other childr...
5 comments
Read more

Feeling the rain

After I worked out today, I went into the kitchen for a bottle of water and saw the pouring rain out my patio door.  There are few times I can think of wanting to feel the rain more. Without a thought, I went out and stood in the rain.  English rain is cold, but today it felt incredible.  I live in a very public place, but in that kind of weather there was wasn't a soul in sight.  I thought about twirling, but the grown up in me squashed the notion. What I did do though was close my eyes and raise my chin toward the sky to let the rain fall on my face.  In my mind I slowed it all down and took it in.  I swear in those few moments I felt every drop. I've always loved the rain.  I  love the sound of it and like to open the windows and listen to it while drifting off to sleep on stormy nights.  Even as a child I would love to go out and play in. When I got older, I found it sensual and and dreamed of romantic moments that would play out u...
3 comments
Read more

Friday Night with Jonathan Ross

Did anyone see Friday Night with Johnathan Ross last night? (for those of you in the US - it's a British R-Rated, Jay Leno type show) He had on the actor Dominic Monaghan (who plays Charlie on Lost). While discussing the show, Dominic (who I really liked before last night) said the problem with the cast of Lost is that there are too many bloody Americans. To Which Jonathan Ross replied, 'Isn't that the problem with the world'? The audience roared with laughter and applauded (so did my husband as if he's not married to one of those bloody Americans and laying on the couch with her watching the damned show). It didn't stop there. they went on to talk about how much it annoys them that we destroy the language etc etc etc... It was yet again, another example that leads me to believe that this type of attitude is the general feeling that all people in this country seem to have. Wayne says I'm wrong, but I sometimes wonder if he too shares this opinion. ...
8 comments
Read more