Skip to main content

Admitting Defeat

Last week, my husband informed me that I'm miserable.  He said the only time I smile any more is when I'm with my son.  I got defensive and very woe is me like and asked is that why I can't make any friends here - because I have an air of misery?? Followed by a quick exit of the room to go and clean something (that's what woman do.  We clean things when we're upset).  Later when I was ready to talk, I asked him, 'Is that really how you see me?' He said, 'yes, but I know why you're miserable and I know what I have to do to change it.'
So, we're going back to the States.  Wayne hopes to do it next summer, but there is a lot to be done before then so as long as it doesn't take another 2 years, I'm just glad the decision has been made.
We've talked about doing it before, but then the recession hit and our businesses suffered and the plans had to be nixed.  We're doing better now and we're going to hit the ground running.  Earlier this week, I started Wayne's Green Card application.  Once it's sent and the money is paid, it will be the official start of our long trip home.
Maybe there is no shame in admitting defeat.  Maybe me and England were never meant to be.  Five years is a long time to go without friends and without family.  I am officially admitting defeat and going back before I am forever changed by this experience.

Comments

Suz said…
Hello
I am an American expat married to my British husband. I was struck by what you wrote:
"before I am forever changed by this experience"
Isn't this the point of living in a different country and experiencing a different culture?
I used to feel as you do but I overcame my ingrained cultural xenophobia,opened my mind and have grown to love the UK.
Life is what you make it whether in the US or UK.
All the best with your forthcoming move.
Suz
Khánh Minh said…
Có một làn da đẹp và ngăn ngừa quá trình lão hóa da chính là đều mà hầu hết mọi phụ nữ điều ao ước có được 1234 diet drops , nó không quá khó nếu bạn dùng Oxynergy Time Exception Serum sẽ giúp đẹp da và ngăn lão hóa da hiệu quả và an toàn , ngoài ra khi ra ngoài nên kết hợp với trang điểm nhẹ nhàng bằng love me for me flawless finish powder compact , pillow plush cushiony lip balmlip gallery creamy color classic lipstick sẽ giúp các bạn trông đẹp hơn và thêm tự tin khi ra ngoài . Ngoài ra nên kết hợp với các loại collagen làm đẹp da shiseido pure white mỗi ngày . Thật tuyệt vời nếu các cô gái được các tràng trai khen đẹp và thơm mát , để có được điều này nên dùng amazonian wild lily shower gel , Fijian Water Lotus Shower Gel , atlas mountain rose shower gel , những sản phẩm này được làm từ thiên nhiên nên rất an toàn hiệu quả rất cao mà ai cũng muốn sử dụng.

Popular posts from this blog

Fight Club for Five Year Olds - Part 2

The other mother and I went into the school to meet with the teacher and the assistant head.  We both let them know how upset we were that we were not informed that our children were sent to the office and how much we were against the children being allowed to play fighting games on the playground.  I told them I wouldn't allow it at home and I'm really unhappy that it's being allowed at school.  They admitted it was a problem and explained that they are planning to introduce a a scheme to teach the children to play in a safe way.  They will be calling it 'Super Hero Training'.  They plan to give out capes & masks out to children who behave well as rewards at playtime.  They will have assemblies where they will teach the children to play fighting games without making contact.  I find this to be absurd.  The problem has gone on to long and I doubt they will be able to teach little children to change their games when they have sixty other children to look after o…

Feeling the rain

After I worked out today, I went into the kitchen for a bottle of water and saw the pouring rain out my patio door.  There are few times I can think of wanting to feel the rain more. Without a thought, I went out and stood in the rain.  English rain is cold, but today it felt incredible.  I live in a very public place, but in that kind of weather there was wasn't a soul in sight.  I thought about twirling, but the grown up in me squashed the notion. What I did do though was close my eyes and raise my chin toward the sky to let the rain fall on my face.  In my mind I slowed it all down and took it in.  I swear in those few moments I felt every drop. I've always loved the rain.  I  love the sound of it and like to open the windows and listen to it while drifting off to sleep on stormy nights.  Even as a child I would love to go out and play in. When I got older, I found it sensual and and dreamed of romantic moments that would play out under dark clouds, surrounded by grey tone…

Scary stuff

A few weeks ago, I found a lump in my breast.  I was in the shower.  I thought I felt something, but my first reaction was to not let my mind go there so I quickly moved on.  A few minutes later, I checked again and confirmed it was indeed a lump.  I finished my shower (and my day) trying not to think too much about it.  That night I asked my husband to see what he thought.  We went to the doctor the very next morning.
In short, the doctor referred me to a specialist and told me I'd get an appointment in the mail.  About a week later, I saw the specialist who referred me for more tests.  I had a mammogram on Monday and today I have an ultrasound.  Scary stuff right?
Because we never know when the appointments are going to be, my husband can't plan for it and arrange to be with me.  I've had to see the specialist and have the tests on my own.  This is one of the worst things about living in a foreign country - when my husband can't be there, I am left with no-one else …