Admitting Defeat

Friday, September 25, 2009

Last week, my husband informed me that I'm miserable.  He said the only time I smile any more is when I'm with my son.  I got defensive and very woe is me like and asked is that why I can't make any friends here - because I have an air of misery?? Followed by a quick exit of the room to go and clean something (that's what woman do.  We clean things when we're upset).  Later when I was ready to talk, I asked him, 'Is that really how you see me?' He said, 'yes, but I know why you're miserable and I know what I have to do to change it.'
So, we're going back to the States.  Wayne hopes to do it next summer, but there is a lot to be done before then so as long as it doesn't take another 2 years, I'm just glad the decision has been made.
We've talked about doing it before, but then the recession hit and our businesses suffered and the plans had to be nixed.  We're doing better now and we're going to hit the ground running.  Earlier this week, I started Wayne's Green Card application.  Once it's sent and the money is paid, it will be the official start of our long trip home.
Maybe there is no shame in admitting defeat.  Maybe me and England were never meant to be.  Five years is a long time to go without friends and without family.  I am officially admitting defeat and going back before I am forever changed by this experience.



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2 comments:

  1. Suz said...:

    Hello
    I am an American expat married to my British husband. I was struck by what you wrote:
    "before I am forever changed by this experience"
    Isn't this the point of living in a different country and experiencing a different culture?
    I used to feel as you do but I overcame my ingrained cultural xenophobia,opened my mind and have grown to love the UK.
    Life is what you make it whether in the US or UK.
    All the best with your forthcoming move.
    Suz

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