Skip to main content

A terrible habit...

I have a terrible habit of deciding I am going to start blogging on a regular basis only to get depressed and stop altogether. I've been terribly down since my visit home. My son gets the best of me and once he goes to bed or school, I keep to myself and don't really do much of anything but read.
I've read over 10 books in 2 months and that's with taking 2 weeks to list everything that wasn't tied down on ebay to help raise some extra money (to make up for my husband's business' slow season). The good news is we've raised £500.00 so far on stuff that was just lying around the house. I got over £300 for just my old 35mm camera equipment (which hurt to sell, but in my heart I knew it wouldn't be used again in this digital age).
I think the big drop in my mood was going to meet the American girl I recently met. I had high hopes that somehow we'd become fast friends and partners in crime. That surly didn't happen. During our first meet-up I quickly realized we were nothing alike (aside from being American)and our friendship was not going to happen. It was hard work making conversation and was no different than meeting with some random English girl. We didn't laugh even once and I left feeling deflated and defective. I used to make friends so easily...
One positive is that I have come very close to my goal of being a size 4 (8UK) again! This pic was taken in Nov during my trip home when I was a size 8. I am now a size 6 (the same size I was in high school only spread out a bit differently). In my late 20s I went down to a size 4 and since that was what I was when my husband and I met, it's my goal now. I have lost a whopping 60lbs since Ethan was born and I finally look like me again. When I'm feeling really down and Ethan's at nursery school, I cheer myself up by going to various clothing stores and trying on size 6 outfits with no intentions of buying anything - just happy to be fitting in to them. My goal weight box of cloths is now hanging in my closet and being worn (with the exception of a couple of size 4 &5 pairs of jeans).
I've lost 15 lbs since I got back from NJ (this pic was taken last week), but the last few weeks I just can't stick to a diet. I've gone from depression fasting to comfort eating (working out just to keep from gaining). I know when I'm ready, I'll go back to the diet and lose my last 10 lbs.
Other than that, I have nothing to report (is it any wonder I haven't been blogging?). I'm a stay at home mom with one friend and no babysitter so I have almost no social life and my husband and I don't ever get to go out. What is there to say??


Tara said…
Hi Erren,

Just wanted to commiserate and say I know exactly what you mean about the weather, not having energy and being isolated. It's really tough! I'm in a similar boat--moved here about 8 months ago after marrying a Brit. (There are lots of us American girls who married British men--would be interesting to compare notes!)

I don't have children but haven't found work yet, and we're a ways from London in a sort of rough town. My husband is such a gem but the day to day is not much fun!

I know what you mean about the weather too--I'm really struggling with it, and I often fantasize about moving back to the US where I can at least see the sun.

My blog is Bright Purple Rain Boots if you want to read about someone else going through it. :)
Erren said…
Hi Tara,
I am so sorry it's been so long. I haven't blogged in so long and never saw this post. Feel free to email me at any time.

Popular posts from this blog

Fight Club for Five Year Olds - Part 2

The other mother and I went into the school to meet with the teacher and the assistant head.  We both let them know how upset we were that we were not informed that our children were sent to the office and how much we were against the children being allowed to play fighting games on the playground.  I told them I wouldn't allow it at home and I'm really unhappy that it's being allowed at school.  They admitted it was a problem and explained that they are planning to introduce a a scheme to teach the children to play in a safe way.  They will be calling it 'Super Hero Training'.  They plan to give out capes & masks out to children who behave well as rewards at playtime.  They will have assemblies where they will teach the children to play fighting games without making contact.  I find this to be absurd.  The problem has gone on to long and I doubt they will be able to teach little children to change their games when they have sixty other children to look after o…

Feeling the rain

After I worked out today, I went into the kitchen for a bottle of water and saw the pouring rain out my patio door.  There are few times I can think of wanting to feel the rain more. Without a thought, I went out and stood in the rain.  English rain is cold, but today it felt incredible.  I live in a very public place, but in that kind of weather there was wasn't a soul in sight.  I thought about twirling, but the grown up in me squashed the notion. What I did do though was close my eyes and raise my chin toward the sky to let the rain fall on my face.  In my mind I slowed it all down and took it in.  I swear in those few moments I felt every drop. I've always loved the rain.  I  love the sound of it and like to open the windows and listen to it while drifting off to sleep on stormy nights.  Even as a child I would love to go out and play in. When I got older, I found it sensual and and dreamed of romantic moments that would play out under dark clouds, surrounded by grey tone…

Vicks First Defence

I always catch something when I fly. Every time I get on a plane, I make sure I pack cold & flu medicine because I know I'll be sick for the next week. I told my doctor about it because I was wondering if I could get a hold of something over the counter to help. I know in the US they sell things that are supposed to help. He told me to buy Vicks First Defense (which is available in the UK over the counter, but as of last November, was not available in the US). It's a nasal spray that you don't inhale. You simply squirt it into the side of your nostril a couple of times and wait a few seconds before you take a breath through your nose (avoiding taking a deep breath for a few minutes - I once inadvertently inhaled it and let me tell you, it was painful so take my word for it - don't inhale it). The spray is supposed to form a thin layer of gel at the back of the nose, where it should trap the virus, disarm it and help the body to flush it out. I was hesitant w…