Skip to main content

Burning Bridges

Ever hear a song that just wallops you back to another time & place? Living in a foreign country (with a lot of different types of music) that sort of thing doesn't happen to me much anymore, but the other day it did. I heard a song by Richard Marx (of all people) that stopped me in my tracks, sent me back to a past love and made me smile thinking about him for the first time in ages. I got the clearest picture of how his head would fly back laughing at his own jokes (that's when he laughed the hardest - which made me want to kiss him every time - I think it's ok to admit such things when you haven't kissed in 2 decades). He had a different laugh when he laughed at something he said. It was my favorite of all his laughs (he had many). I'm smiling just thinking about it now. But it also makes me a little sad that we don't even talk anymore. Every time we do, it ends badly. We haven't been together since we were kids, but in our long history since - we perfected hurting each other. I guess after that sort of thing happens enough times...
That being said, he's still one of my all time favorite people (even if I'm not one of his). I wonder if he still laughs at his own jokes. I wonder if he's still the same guy who could light up a room or if life changed him. I wish it were different. I wish we could meet for lunch every few years and catch up like I get to do with my high school sweetheart. I wish we hadn't stood on opposite sides of that bridge and simultaneously torched it.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fight Club for Five Year Olds - Part 2

The other mother and I went into the school to meet with the teacher and the assistant head.  We both let them know how upset we were that we were not informed that our children were sent to the office and how much we were against the children being allowed to play fighting games on the playground.  I told them I wouldn't allow it at home and I'm really unhappy that it's being allowed at school.  They admitted it was a problem and explained that they are planning to introduce a a scheme to teach the children to play in a safe way.  They will be calling it 'Super Hero Training'.  They plan to give out capes & masks out to children who behave well as rewards at playtime.  They will have assemblies where they will teach the children to play fighting games without making contact.  I find this to be absurd.  The problem has gone on to long and I doubt they will be able to teach little children to change their games when they have sixty other children to look after o…
8 comments
Read more

Feeling the rain

After I worked out today, I went into the kitchen for a bottle of water and saw the pouring rain out my patio door.  There are few times I can think of wanting to feel the rain more. Without a thought, I went out and stood in the rain.  English rain is cold, but today it felt incredible.  I live in a very public place, but in that kind of weather there was wasn't a soul in sight.  I thought about twirling, but the grown up in me squashed the notion. What I did do though was close my eyes and raise my chin toward the sky to let the rain fall on my face.  In my mind I slowed it all down and took it in.  I swear in those few moments I felt every drop. I've always loved the rain.  I  love the sound of it and like to open the windows and listen to it while drifting off to sleep on stormy nights.  Even as a child I would love to go out and play in. When I got older, I found it sensual and and dreamed of romantic moments that would play out under dark clouds, surrounded by grey tone…
4 comments
Read more

Scary stuff

A few weeks ago, I found a lump in my breast.  I was in the shower.  I thought I felt something, but my first reaction was to not let my mind go there so I quickly moved on.  A few minutes later, I checked again and confirmed it was indeed a lump.  I finished my shower (and my day) trying not to think too much about it.  That night I asked my husband to see what he thought.  We went to the doctor the very next morning.
In short, the doctor referred me to a specialist and told me I'd get an appointment in the mail.  About a week later, I saw the specialist who referred me for more tests.  I had a mammogram on Monday and today I have an ultrasound.  Scary stuff right?
Because we never know when the appointments are going to be, my husband can't plan for it and arrange to be with me.  I've had to see the specialist and have the tests on my own.  This is one of the worst things about living in a foreign country - when my husband can't be there, I am left with no-one else …
3 comments
Read more