Burning Bridges

Ever hear a song that just wallops you back to another time & place? Living in a foreign country (with a lot of different types of music) that sort of thing doesn't happen to me much anymore, but the other day it did. I heard a song by Richard Marx (of all people) that stopped me in my tracks, sent me back to a past love and made me smile thinking about him for the first time in ages. I got the clearest picture of how his head would fly back laughing at his own jokes (that's when he laughed the hardest - which made me want to kiss him every time - I think it's ok to admit such things when you haven't kissed in 2 decades). He had a different laugh when he laughed at something he said. It was my favorite of all his laughs (he had many). I'm smiling just thinking about it now. But it also makes me a little sad that we don't even talk anymore. Every time we do, it ends badly. We haven't been together since we were kids, but in our long history since - we perfected hurting each other. I guess after that sort of thing happens enough times...
That being said, he's still one of my all time favorite people (even if I'm not one of his). I wonder if he still laughs at his own jokes. I wonder if he's still the same guy who could light up a room or if life changed him. I wish it were different. I wish we could meet for lunch every few years and catch up like I get to do with my high school sweetheart. I wish we hadn't stood on opposite sides of that bridge and simultaneously torched it.