Skip to main content

Burning Bridges

Ever hear a song that just wallops you back to another time & place? Living in a foreign country (with a lot of different types of music) that sort of thing doesn't happen to me much anymore, but the other day it did. I heard a song by Richard Marx (of all people) that stopped me in my tracks, sent me back to a past love and made me smile thinking about him for the first time in ages. I got the clearest picture of how his head would fly back laughing at his own jokes (that's when he laughed the hardest - which made me want to kiss him every time - I think it's ok to admit such things when you haven't kissed in 2 decades). He had a different laugh when he laughed at something he said. It was my favorite of all his laughs (he had many). I'm smiling just thinking about it now. But it also makes me a little sad that we don't even talk anymore. Every time we do, it ends badly. We haven't been together since we were kids, but in our long history since - we perfected hurting each other. I guess after that sort of thing happens enough times...
That being said, he's still one of my all time favorite people (even if I'm not one of his). I wonder if he still laughs at his own jokes. I wonder if he's still the same guy who could light up a room or if life changed him. I wish it were different. I wish we could meet for lunch every few years and catch up like I get to do with my high school sweetheart. I wish we hadn't stood on opposite sides of that bridge and simultaneously torched it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Kicked the habit with an e-cigarette

    I quit smoking when I moved to the UK, mainly because I promised my husband I would.  I did it for him, but not because I wanted to.  I enjoyed smoking.  I missed it, but quit successfully for many years until I went through a stressful time and started again.  My relapse lasted over a year.  The whole time, I was ashamed of myself.  I hated the smell.  I hated how I felt, I hated the health risks and I hated my lack of willpower.      I've known a few people who have tried e-cigarettes.  I was a skeptic.  I thought it was going from one habit to another.  The people I knew that tried it, always had it and were constantly sucking on it.  It seemed to me they were more addicted to it then they were cigarettes.  I don't know any smokers that constantly had a cigarette in their hand.      Then in January, I saw a piece about it on the BBC News.  I watched with interest thinking they were going to say that they have found it to be harmful.  What they said was quite the o

Fight Club for Five Year Olds - Part 2

The other mother and I went into the school to meet with the teacher and the assistant head.  We both let them know how upset we were that we were not informed that our children were sent to the office and how much we were against the children being allowed to play fighting games on the playground.  I told them I wouldn't allow it at home and I'm really unhappy that it's being allowed at school.  They admitted it was a problem and explained that they are planning to introduce a a scheme to teach the children to play in a safe way.  They will be calling it 'Super Hero Training'.  They plan to give out capes & masks out to children who behave well as rewards at playtime.  They will have assemblies where they will teach the children to play fighting games without making contact.  I find this to be absurd.  The problem has gone on to long and I doubt they will be able to teach little children to change their games when they have sixty other children to look after on

Attitude adjustment...

It's been a while since I blogged regularly. I guess I've been going by the rule - if you don't have anything nice to say - don't say anything at all. I hate 'woe is me' type entries and for the last month or so, I've been really down and haven't had anything good to say. I think it started with the news that Aniela (my fellow expat girlfriend) was moving back to the US and was exacerbated by the incident with Wayne's cousin and the flare up of my condition (along with a general feeling of homesickness & loneliness). I was really depressed for quite a few weeks there and haven't been doing much more than going to the gym and other random things to keep me busy during the day. I haven't even worked on my web classes (in any serious way) in weeks (probably because I can't concentrate when I'm in pain - never mind get very motivated). I'm not so down anymore. Maybe it's the sunshine. Maybe it's the fact that I'