No one is to blame

Monday, May 23, 2011
After reading The book of Joe, I downloaded 'No One Is to Blame' by Howard Jones. When I read about the song in the book, I though - Great song! It didn't throw me back to the time though. No one came to mind. Nothing in particular came back to me. All I thought was 'Great Song!' Then I downloaded it.
All of a sudden, it was 1989 and I was thrown back to a bright smiled, blond, blue-eyed boy that sang the song to me once. I instantly smiled, closed my eyes and just listened over and over again.
I wanted to email him and share my little memory, but I fear those days of sharing that sort of thing have long passed so I'm writing this instead.
It's funny, when he sang it to me, neither of us knew how very meaningful the words would become. He was just being a showman - wooing me (again, can't help smiling). Not long after, everything changed. We fell in love, he left and I'm going to be bold here and say neither of us would ever be the same...
People used to hear me speak of him and our time together (and apart) and tell me I had my head in the clouds. Maybe I did, but I'm still so grateful for it. I am grateful because if not for him, I wouldn't be here - here in this house, married to this man I am madly in love with and raising this little boy I adore so much. If not for that blue eyed boy with the bright smile, I would have given up on the fairy tale and happy ending and I would have settled for less. Because of him, I believed in love and I never settled and never gave up. I wish I could thank him for giving me that. I wish I could tell him how much he means to me. Instead, I write this and hope he stumbles upon it one day...

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3 comments:

  1. roy said...:

    I think you should send this to him. I would want to know. Just saying...

  1. Chris said...:

    You think she should tell him that because of him she got her happy ending with someone else? I'm not sure all guys want to hear that. Just saying...

  1. Erren said...:

    I don't even know what to say to you Chris. Behave please :-)
    Roy, it's a nice thought, but I just don't know. I haven't been in his good graces for a while. Maybe.