My last post made me realize I need to clarify something just to make sure no-one reading it gets the wrong idea about Sal and the nature of our relationship when we first met...
The story of Sal goes like this - It was the fall of 1992. My best friend just died. The rest of my friends were slowly dropping off (death has a way of making this happen), the first big love of my life married someone else and was having a baby with her and my new boyfriend just left for college. I felt truly alone and was miserable. In came Sal.
I was working at the customer service desk at my local mall at the time. The desk was in the middle of the mall (not in a store front). One day a the most beautiful man I had ever seen up close walked by. As he did he made eye contact and kept his gaze as he walked. He was tall and muscular, he had chiseled features, full lips, long blond hair, and pale green eyes. Later that day, I was on my break when he approached me. He asked my name. He told me his name was Sal and then asked, 'Erren, do you have a boyfriend?' When I said yes, he asked how long we were together. I told him 4 months. He asked, 'Erren, do you want to be friends?' I quickly answered yes.
From that day forward, we spent a lot of time together. I made it clear I wasn't a cheat. He said he knew that and wouldn't try to get in the middle of my relationship. I told myself there was no harm in making a new friend. I told myself his constant attention was harmless and when the day came that my boyfriend met him, I pretended not to notice the panic in his face.
Sal was a model. A romance novel model. You know the kind with the ripping muscles and flowing hair holding a woman with heaving breasts. He later admitted he was also a male dancer. Sal knew he was beautiful and he tried to weaken me with every chance he got.
One day I met him at his house go out to lunch and he answered the door with nothing on but a towel. He acted as if this was nothing. He told me to come up to his room to wait while he went and got dressed. I sat down expecting him to get dressed in the bathroom. Instead, he went into his walk in closet which just happened to have no door. I looked everywhere in his room, but towards that closet. He had a few well placed mirrors that kept me from averting my eyes his way. I scolded him and he enjoyed my flushed face as he did. I made him promise not to pull any more stunts like that again.
All that being said, I felt as if Sal was a gift. An angel sent to me in my time of need. He was there for me when I desperately needed comfort and love. He was attentive and sweet. He made me feel special. He took me out, bought me gifts and was a caring friend when I needed one. I was very naive to what was actually happening. I was 20 years old. Sal was 25. I honestly thought that we really were friends because I didn't think that someone like him would have any real interest in a girl like me. He looked like someone who would date a bikini model not ME. I thought it was all a bit of harmless flirting.
I'd like to say I remember how long my time with Sal lasted, but I don't. It's been a very long time. If I had to guess, I'd say it lasted 6 months to a year. One thing I do remember is when it ended...
One night Sal tried to kiss me. I panicked and quickly pulled away. He pulled me to him and tried again. His size scared me and I said, 'Sal, what are you doing?' as I got myself free. He sat down, put his face in his hands and began to cry. He said, 'You don't understand, I am so in love with you.' I nearly laughed, but saw the his red eyes and pain on his face. He said, 'I want you with me all the time. I want you to come with me on my photo shoots. I want you at my shows. I want you with me for all of it. Erren, when I look at you, your eyes kill me and all I want is to love you.' I was truly shocked. I looked at him and said, 'I'm so sorry Sal. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You know I care for you, but you know I have a boyfriend. I can't do this to him.' He put his face in his hands again. With tears in my eyes I told him I couldn't see him again.
I didn't see him again (not for 10 years anyway). I missed him and thought of him often for many years to come, but I was always glad I held my resolve and didn't become the cheat I didn't ever want to be.
I wish I could say the story ends there, but it doesn't. I'll continue the story in my next post...
The story of Sal goes like this - It was the fall of 1992. My best friend just died. The rest of my friends were slowly dropping off (death has a way of making this happen), the first big love of my life married someone else and was having a baby with her and my new boyfriend just left for college. I felt truly alone and was miserable. In came Sal.
I was working at the customer service desk at my local mall at the time. The desk was in the middle of the mall (not in a store front). One day a the most beautiful man I had ever seen up close walked by. As he did he made eye contact and kept his gaze as he walked. He was tall and muscular, he had chiseled features, full lips, long blond hair, and pale green eyes. Later that day, I was on my break when he approached me. He asked my name. He told me his name was Sal and then asked, 'Erren, do you have a boyfriend?' When I said yes, he asked how long we were together. I told him 4 months. He asked, 'Erren, do you want to be friends?' I quickly answered yes.
From that day forward, we spent a lot of time together. I made it clear I wasn't a cheat. He said he knew that and wouldn't try to get in the middle of my relationship. I told myself there was no harm in making a new friend. I told myself his constant attention was harmless and when the day came that my boyfriend met him, I pretended not to notice the panic in his face.
Sal was a model. A romance novel model. You know the kind with the ripping muscles and flowing hair holding a woman with heaving breasts. He later admitted he was also a male dancer. Sal knew he was beautiful and he tried to weaken me with every chance he got.
One day I met him at his house go out to lunch and he answered the door with nothing on but a towel. He acted as if this was nothing. He told me to come up to his room to wait while he went and got dressed. I sat down expecting him to get dressed in the bathroom. Instead, he went into his walk in closet which just happened to have no door. I looked everywhere in his room, but towards that closet. He had a few well placed mirrors that kept me from averting my eyes his way. I scolded him and he enjoyed my flushed face as he did. I made him promise not to pull any more stunts like that again.
All that being said, I felt as if Sal was a gift. An angel sent to me in my time of need. He was there for me when I desperately needed comfort and love. He was attentive and sweet. He made me feel special. He took me out, bought me gifts and was a caring friend when I needed one. I was very naive to what was actually happening. I was 20 years old. Sal was 25. I honestly thought that we really were friends because I didn't think that someone like him would have any real interest in a girl like me. He looked like someone who would date a bikini model not ME. I thought it was all a bit of harmless flirting.
I'd like to say I remember how long my time with Sal lasted, but I don't. It's been a very long time. If I had to guess, I'd say it lasted 6 months to a year. One thing I do remember is when it ended...
One night Sal tried to kiss me. I panicked and quickly pulled away. He pulled me to him and tried again. His size scared me and I said, 'Sal, what are you doing?' as I got myself free. He sat down, put his face in his hands and began to cry. He said, 'You don't understand, I am so in love with you.' I nearly laughed, but saw the his red eyes and pain on his face. He said, 'I want you with me all the time. I want you to come with me on my photo shoots. I want you at my shows. I want you with me for all of it. Erren, when I look at you, your eyes kill me and all I want is to love you.' I was truly shocked. I looked at him and said, 'I'm so sorry Sal. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You know I care for you, but you know I have a boyfriend. I can't do this to him.' He put his face in his hands again. With tears in my eyes I told him I couldn't see him again.
I didn't see him again (not for 10 years anyway). I missed him and thought of him often for many years to come, but I was always glad I held my resolve and didn't become the cheat I didn't ever want to be.
I wish I could say the story ends there, but it doesn't. I'll continue the story in my next post...
Comments