Big Boy School

Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Ethan is starting school in September.  I am heart broken over it.  Where I grew up, children don't start school until they are five.  They start kindergarten and only have a half day until they start first grade.  Ethan has only just turned four and he starts school all day every day in September.  I feel like it's too soon.  I feel like my baby is being taken away from me a year early. I also feel like he's just too young to be going to school all day every day (well, Monday - through Friday anyway).
Out of all the moms I know who have kids starting school this year, I'm the only one who's heart broken instead of celebrating. I've been really emotional for months now.  We got the letter in the mail a few months ago letting us know what school he'll be going to and I've been really emotional ever since.  I tear up randomly and sometimes I look at him and wonder what happened to my baby?  He's growing up so fast and I'm just not ready. 
We had to take him to the new school (big boy school) yesterday for a taster session.  He got to visit the class, meet the teachers, play and join in with the morning session.  When we walked in, he hid behind me.  He was really scared, which was hard for me to watch because he's never usually shy.  He's a real social kid.  He usually throws himself into social situations and will talk or play with anyone.  He was really scared and would talk to anyone and held on to me & his dad for dear life.  He wouldn't talk to anyone.  Some of the boys and girls wanted to look after him, but he was too shy.  As soon as we got there, they went out to the playground, but Ethan didn't want to join them.  He played in the classroom while they were gone.  When they came back in, they all sat in a circle for snack and story time.  One of the boys brought Ethan an apple.  He took it, but still didn't want to join in and talk.  It worried me and I just kept thinking he's just not ready.  He's too young.
When story time ended, the children split up into different activities.  Out of the blue, Ethan asked if he could go with them.  He came out of his shell and joined in playing with the children and ended up having a really great time. he even asked to stay for their phonics lesson and joined in.  The teachers all agreed that he'll be fine.  I'm sure they are right.  He'll be fine.  It will be me who won't stop crying!

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