I don't usually do such things, but I deleted yesterday's post. It was way too 'woe is me' and I can't stand such raw emotions being aired for public view. So, I did a take back.
In case your wondering what it said, it said something like 'Nobody likes me, everybody hates me - I think I'll go eat worms (if you don't recognise that quote - it's an American children's song). The long and short of it is that my social life here in the UK has taken a hit as of late and I've been lonely and feeling terribly sorry for myself.
The other thing is that yesterday was a tough day for me. It was the anniversary of the death of a friend. It happened a lifetime ago and I always think I'm fine, but grief has a way of creeping up over and over again - no matter how long it's been. That being said, it might be part of the reason I've been feeling so absolutely miserable.
It may be because I am home with my family today, but things feel brighter today. I can't say I'm not bothered by how things are right now, but I need to focus on the positives. I have a family that I adore and although I may not have a social life here, I do have amazing friendships back home that neither time or distance seem to effect. I am lucky to have them and I'll try keeping that in mind moving forward.
In that spirit, I will post a portion of yesterdays post...
'The other day I actually did cry when my husband was leaving for work. I cried and explained why I was so miserable... After he left, I went on Facebook to wish a friend a happy birthday and saw that my best friend (who is back in NJ) changed her cover photo to a photo of the two of us during my visit home. It was as if she knew I needed to be reminded that I am loved. It was such a simple thing, but it meant the world.'
In case your wondering what it said, it said something like 'Nobody likes me, everybody hates me - I think I'll go eat worms (if you don't recognise that quote - it's an American children's song). The long and short of it is that my social life here in the UK has taken a hit as of late and I've been lonely and feeling terribly sorry for myself.
The other thing is that yesterday was a tough day for me. It was the anniversary of the death of a friend. It happened a lifetime ago and I always think I'm fine, but grief has a way of creeping up over and over again - no matter how long it's been. That being said, it might be part of the reason I've been feeling so absolutely miserable.
It may be because I am home with my family today, but things feel brighter today. I can't say I'm not bothered by how things are right now, but I need to focus on the positives. I have a family that I adore and although I may not have a social life here, I do have amazing friendships back home that neither time or distance seem to effect. I am lucky to have them and I'll try keeping that in mind moving forward.
In that spirit, I will post a portion of yesterdays post...
'The other day I actually did cry when my husband was leaving for work. I cried and explained why I was so miserable... After he left, I went on Facebook to wish a friend a happy birthday and saw that my best friend (who is back in NJ) changed her cover photo to a photo of the two of us during my visit home. It was as if she knew I needed to be reminded that I am loved. It was such a simple thing, but it meant the world.'
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