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A wing and a prayer

I've been back from NJ for a few weeks now.  I always get quiet when I get back because it's hard for me to come back and I just need to keep to myself until I adjust back into such a change in lifestyle.  It gets lonely for me here.  I don't have a big social life and at times can go weeks without seeing anyone other than the people who live in this house.  Granted, it's better than it was since book club, but it's still quite lonely and coming back always gets me down.
My husband and I have been talking about trying again to make the move back to the US, but it's on a wing and a prayer.  An international move costs such an exorbitant amount of money and I just don't see how it can ever happen.  Our plan is to save as much as we possibly can until the spring and see where we are then.  We're hoping we'll have enough to make the move, but I'm not holding my breath - just hoping for the best.
Ethan starts school in Sept.  Since we plan to move, we were going to keep Ethan home this year as they don't start school in NJ until 5 years old, but he won't have it.  He really has his heart set on big boy school.  I'm so torn up about it.  School will be all day (8:50 - 3:00) 5 days a week.  I think it's too much too young (he only just turned 4).  When we decided not to have him start until next year, I was so relived, but this week he really put up a fight about it and I can't break his heart.  All of his friends at nursery school are talking about going to big school and he doesn't want to miss out.  I've been crying for a week.  I want him with me.  He's only 4 and in such a rush to grow up.  I'm so heartbroken.  He keeps telling me, 'But Mommy, I HAVE to go.  Big boys school is for big boys.  I'm a big boy so I HAVE to go!'  I guess I can't argue with that.
Oh, did I mention I have to find a way to buy a car and learn to drive in this country all by Sept 11th?  No pressure right?  Crap...
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