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Baby Clothes

I've been cleaning a load of things out of storage and listing it on eBay.  It's become my job now that I don't have my business anymore.  We have so much stuff, I could do listings every day for a year and never run out of things to sell.
Today, I took a box of baby clothes down to sell.  Ethan is four now and it's not looking likely there will be any more babies in our future.  I thought I was OK with that.  I thought I was ready to sell it, but I couldn't do it.  I just sat there picking up each item and crying.  I guess I'm not so ready after all.
The thing is that I'm no spring chicken.  Child bearing years my not be over just yet, but they sure are closer to being over than not.  I miscarried in January.  It was unplanned and very early on, but it felt like my last chance.  I know my husband doesn't really want another baby and I think when it comes to that sort of thing, a couple should be on the same page or it's not worth doing.  I didn't want to have to talk him into it (knowing full well after the miscarriage, if I tried hard enough, I could).  I wanted him to want it and then I waited for him to come around on his own.  He never did.  So, here I am crying over baby clothes and wishing I was 10 years younger.
We plan to adopt an older child some day.  We want to take a child out of the foster care system, but want to wait until our son is old enough to handle any behavioral problems we could be faced with.  I still want to do that, but I had hoped we'd have another as well.
With Ethan starting school soon, maybe I'm a bit to emotional to be listing the baby clothes.  Maybe I should switch to something else for now...

Comments

Adela Giles said…
Wow. At least you have found a way to make business again. For a year and still won't run out of them. That's a good news. Well, your stuffs must be cool. Thanks for sharing this. Now I have the idea.

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