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First Day of School Tomorrow

My son's first day of Kindergarten (UK -reception year) is tomorrow.  I am doing everything I can to keep myself together. I've had a lot on my mind lately anyway and this has the definite potential to tip me over the emotional edge.  He only has a half day for two days this week.  On the 19th, he starts full time from 9-3:00.  Starting on the 19th, I will be alone all day for 5 days a week for the first time since my son was born.  Let me tell you, I do not have a big enough social life for this! My husband seems to think I will finally let myself cry my eyes out when on the first day, I am done with my workout, cleaned the house from top to bottom and still have hours to kill before it's time to pick up my son.
They had a meet & greet, Q&A session today with his teachers (he has 2 teachers & one teacher’s aide).  They were really great. The last time Ethan was there, he was in a classroom that had dinosaurs in it and he’s been really excited about having dinosaurs at school.  When I told them that, they sent the aide to go find some dinosaurs to set up a dino section in the classroom.  That was a really nice touch for me and made me feel like he’ll be well looked after.
People keep asking me, 'What are you going to do with yourself once he's in school?' The answer:  I don't know.  I'll be in great shape because I'll be able to get longer workouts in, my house will be the cleanest around, oh and I'm going to take a writing course.  It's one morning a week so it won't fill my days, but it's something I've wanted to do for a really long time.
I'm sure I'm not the only mother in the world who is asking herself, 'What now?' as her child starts school, but I do feel lost.  I keep hoping that my workout regime is going to make me so strong, I’ll be impervious to flare ups and can go back to work, but I know it’s doubtful.  I’m about to start a new chapter of my life.  A chapter I’m not sure I’m really ready for.  I know Ethan is ready.  He’s really excited, but I am really heart broken and I’m dreading next week.

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