I know I've been really quiet since the 'American Special' aired. I guess it got me down and I've been withdrawn. I just can't help but take it personally. I think I've seen it as another rejection by this country. I know it would be so much different if I had a circle of friends here that have made me feel welcome and accepted, but I've been here 2 and a half years now and it never happened. What's really sad is that the only friend I do have here is someone I had to pay to get to know me. What I mean is that my personal trainer and I have become more friends than anything else (I stopped paying him 5 months ago). He's a big support in trying to stay healthy and strong with my medical condition. The days we meet at the gym, he's also my pseudo girlfriend and we talk about all the things I wish I could talk to my girlfriends about on a regular basis. 3 days a week for a couple of hours, I get to feel normal until Wayne gets home from work. The rest of the time, I honestly feel really lonely.
It's not as if I haven't had opportunity to meet people. With my business I have met so many women. At the end of an event, I usually find myself surrounded by them laughing and enjoying the time with me. I do great with sales and I've been welcomed into their homes, but it stops there. I have never had even one of them offer a hand in friendship (besides the group of 19 year-olds I last did an event for. They wanted to hang out with me and take me clubbing, but I can't start hanging out with teenagers). I guess at this age and time in life, a lot of people aren't looking to expand their well established circle of friends. There have been days that I left the gym locker room hiding tears after watching the groups of friends interacting and planning lunch after a workout together.
So, I've become withdrawn and have thrown myself into work and my web design training which I've really neglected since my business got busy in November. The footbridge to the marina is closed for repairs this week, so I haven't been to the gym since last Wednesday and I'm feeling a bit stir-crazy and isolated. I can't even take solace in the fact that we have plans to move back because in order to make the move, we're going to have to save about 30k. I fear that summertime as our target may be a bit too optimistic and we'll have to put it off until next spring (we need to make the move in the warmer months so that Wayne will have a full season to establish work on construction sites). This will mean another year here and possibly a pregnancy without my friends and family - Not exactly ideal.
I fear this entry has become too much of a woe is me type entry so, I'm going to stop here. I guess I just wanted to explain my absence...
The other mother and I went into the school to meet with the teacher and the assistant head. We both let them know how upset we were that we were not informed that our children were sent to the office and how much we were against the children being allowed to play fighting games on the playground. I told them I wouldn't allow it at home and I'm really unhappy that it's being allowed at school. They admitted it was a problem and explained that they are planning to introduce a a scheme to teach the children to play in a safe way. They will be calling it 'Super Hero Training'. They plan to give out capes & masks out to children who behave well as rewards at playtime. They will have assemblies where they will teach the children to play fighting games without making contact. I find this to be absurd. The problem has gone on to long and I doubt they will be able to teach little children to change their games when they have sixty other childr...
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