Yesterday, after writing about a friend that died many years ago, I had a comment by a reader that told me I must live in the present. Yesterday was not a good day to say this to me. It bothered me - as if I was being told I don't live in the present or worse it suggested I should forget my friend. This is a public blog that has visitors from all over the world most of whom I don't know. Comments are bound to be made - some I'll agree with and others I won't. It's a part of the experience and I welcome any feedback that my readers want to give. But I have to say that this comment just didn't sit well with me and I'm going to attempt to explain why.
I don't like being told to forget my past. It's insulting to be told to forget what's made me the person I am. I think people spend too much damn time trying to forget their pasts. Believe me, there are a lot of things I would like to forget. My life has not always been easy. I had a childhood that I'm still trying to recover from and I've had things happen since that I'd also like to forget. Unfortunately, try as we may - we can't forget the past. All we can do is try to not let it effect the present.
The women in my family are notorious for being bitter people. They had bad things happen to them and they let it get the best of them. They dwelled on the bad so much that they became people that most wouldn't like or want to be around. I do not want this to be my legacy. I don't want to turn into that sort of person. One of the ways I keep from doing so is to let the bad things go and hold on to the good. I may have had a lot to overcome, but I also have been blessed to have had people in my life that gave me wonderful things to hold on to. I have been loved by some pretty great people and that's what I choose to hold onto so that I don't let the bad stuff turn me into someone I don't ever want to be.
As a friend recently said, I live very much in the present. That being said, my present isn't always something worth writing about. How many posts can I have about how in love I am with my husband before people start getting sick to their stomachs? And as for the rest of my day to day life - During the week, I spend 80% of my time alone. I work from this computer and I don't have any friends in this country. There's no social life to share. I can't say this happened to me today or that happened yesterday because most of the time - nothing has happened. I'm not going to write about the what I watched on TV, what I made for dinner or about the illness I have that keeps me in almost contestant pain. I want to write about my life and if there's nothing from today to share - I always have yesterday. This blog is my chronicle of my today, my yesterdays and with some luck - all of my tomorrows. The past cannot be forgotten - this is a fact. I choose to cherish yesterday, live for today and hope for tomorrow. It's the best I can do.
Recently, a magazine here in the UK issued their list of their Top 100 women in show business. This sparked conversation between Wayne and I and one rainy weekend when we had nothing to do, we compiled our own Top 20 lists. The rules were we had to judge on looks alone (not their physique) and only one token model was allowed. For fun, I thought I'd add our lists here for you to view and enjoy. Maybe it will even spark conversation between you and a friend or loved one. Wayne and I actually had a really good time creating our lists together - judging each other's taste in the opposite sex and laughing over how long it took for us to prioritize our selections. We still change the order every time we look at it! (although our top five have remained the same) Enjoy and feel free to comment!
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