Pond Hopper

The other day, my husband had an awful experience... It was a beautiful day so that morning I sent a text to my trainer and asked to take our workout outside.  On really nice days we walk/jog along the harbour and the sea front.  I'm in the process of re-designing his website and since I live on the harbour, I suggested he meet me here so we can go over the latest changes to his site and leave for our walk from here instead of the gym. Dan parked in the driveway, came in the back door, put his keys on the kitchen table next to my gym bag and after going over his site, we left for our walk... Some time after we left, Wayne came home for some supplies he needed on site.  He came home to find Dan's car parked in his spot, walked in through the back door (which I forgot to lock when I left) and called in to the living room with his usual greeting 'Hi Babe' his call was unanswered and with the door unlocked, seeing my gym bag and Dan's keys on the table - his heart sank....

I went to bed over an hour ago, but I couldn't sleep so here I am.  It's not really that late, but here in the silent darkness, it feels much later.  I used to have a sleeping disorder.  I didn't sleep for more than a few hours a night for over 10 years and then I met Wayne and he must haven given me the peace I needed because I rarely have problems sleeping any more. Sitting here with only the glow of the computer screen as light, reminds me of the days I didn't sleep.  Alone with my thoughts in the wee hours of the night, I'd write like this - only then they were letters I'd never send - letters to someone who I felt comfortable telling all my secrets to.  Letters that get written in the middle of the night probably shouldn't get sent.  It's the things that come to you at that hour that are so truthful, they probably should be left until daybreak so you can re-evaluate saying them at all.  I must confess every once in a while, I'd click send instea...

On my daily walk this morning, I saw a very pregnant woman shopping on the harbor.  It hit me just then, that if all goes according to plan - this time next year, I could be looking very similar to her!  What a revelation!  It's terrifying and exciting all at the same time.  The thing about becoming a parent later in life is is that you have a lot more time to consider things young girls don't like - I wonder how much your body really changes... Is sex as good for him after?... Is sex as good for HER after?? How bad does it really hurt?  Will I love my husband the same way after the baby is born?  I mean, I know I'll love him as much, but I like to dote on him and I worry, he'll get less attention and he won't be as happy. Then there's the questions I'm sure we all ask like - What kind of mother will I be?  Do I really have the energy?  How do you handle the pressure of knowing if you aren't careful - you can really fuck a kid up for life.  e...

I haven't written in at least a week (the calender you see isn't visible to me at the moment and I'm too tired to look).  I've been busy with work.  My cosmetics supplier is not playing nice with their advertising guidelines and I've had to re-evaluate how to bring in business without rocking the boat with my advertising methods (I don't like playing by the rules).  I've spent the last week and a half trying to find good ways to advertise on line and I'm coming up short in confidence with any of the options I've found.  It's a tricky thing this business of mine.  Wayne and I don't need the money and considering I don't like to play by the rules, I always thought it was just a matter of time before they sent me packing.  The thing is that I've grown to depend on it to keep me sane and busy - not to mention, I bring in pretty good money as well.  Last week when I got the warning letter from my supplier, it hit me quite hard.  I knew it ...

I've had two friends talk to me about their relationships with week.  Both are in committed long term relationships, one friend a man and the other a woman - both going through a bit of a rough patch with their partner - one more severe than the other. Scenario number one (the male friend) - A couple that's been together over 5 years that started out together very young.  They are each other's first serious relationship. They're unmarried, but live together.  They're relationship has reached the point of being more like room-mates than anything else.  No sex to speak of, no real quality time with each other and they hardly ever kiss each other hello when they come home any more (they used to all the time).  He says he's in love with her and doesn't want to break up.  They've tried 'dating' each other again, but when he makes sexual advances - she says that's all he's interested in.  He says there's only so much rejection he can take b...

It appears that winter has reared it's ugly head and kicked Spring's ass into submission.  It's been really cold this week and the wind chill is quite awful in this area.  Not two weeks ago, I was doing my workouts on the sea front and today, the bitterly cold wind was so bad it made my eyes tear walking to the gym (oh how I dream of driving again)! I know it was early for spring type weather, but I was really hoping it would stay. I guess I should be grateful the sun is out and I didn't have to contend with the sideways rain that seems to come hand in hand with winter in this country!  Still, I hope spring wins the fight soon!

When I wrote the entry below, I didn't realize that the article I wrote about was actually written by a British expat living in NY (opposed to an American fluent in English ).  The expat was making fun of fellow Brits - hence the subheading in big red letters... When I read the article, I was quite busy with work, but it caught my attention so I quickly read it through.  So quickly that I missed the subheading which made it quite clear it was a British person that wrote it and I also didn't notice that there was a second page! This new realization (thanks to Jersey Girl) makes the article a lot more funny and much more appropriate. That being said, I'm leaving the entry below because I still think it's relevant (albeit not to the article, but to how we look at other cultures living in our country).